


Your First Friend in Derry

by campfirevampires



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bill Skarsgard faceclaim, Bob Gray - Freeform, F/M, Fanfiction, Female Reader, M/M, Not a lot of tags are coming to mind right now but maybe that'll change as time goes on, Slow Burn, gender neutral reader, male reader - Freeform, robert gray - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 16:24:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 71,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20660183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/campfirevampires/pseuds/campfirevampires
Summary: Derry sucks. Well, no, it doesn't SUCK, but it could be a hell of a lot better for you. No friends, a shitty job, and nothing to do, ever. EVER. But you finally have a day off of work, and you're not going to spend it stuck at home again. So, you go out to get some fresh summer air...but that's not the only thing you'll find waiting for you outside.





	1. The Park

**Author's Note:**

> Woo boy, first fanfic! I've never really posted my writings onto a site like this so it's exciting! I'm not really looking for criticism or anything on this piece, just something I thought would be fun to do, 'cause I love that clown so much<3. I dunno how long this fic will go on for, how many chapters it'll have, but I guess we'll see! It's tagged as an X Reader, but romance probably won't happen for a while, if it does. I don't want to make Pennywise too fluffy, but I don't really want to write NSFW into this either...Nothing wrong with it! I just feel like we have plenty of that already and I'd like to have some variety, so I'll add that myself! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thanks for checking it out!

Summer in Maine is perfect. That’s what everyone says. It's perfect. Long, sun-soaked days of happiness and cool, refreshing nights make it the most ideal time to be out with friends. Water-balloon tosses, bicycle rides, dog-walkers, and ice-cream trucks were not at all uncommon for summers in Derry. 

But what did it matter to you? You weren't going to be doing any of those things anyways. 

You've been living in Derry for a while now, and while the world and town around you is constantly changing, nothing for you ever does. You work the same dead-end job, slaving hour after hour all for a paycheck that hardly feels worth it. Every day, you come home, kick off your shoes, sit on your couch, and push your head into your hands, trying to muster up the energy to do something for yourself, before going to bed and worrying about work the next day. You had such big dreams when you were younger--how did you wind up here?

Call up some friends? Ha! If only you had any. With all the time you've spent in Derry, the closest friends you've made are your coworkers, who STILL wouldn't cover your shift for you even if your life depended on it. Besides, even if you wanted to make better friends with them, they clearly didn't share that sentiment with you. You would reach out to your coworkers, only to be met with "I'm busy." "I already have plans." "It's my shift that night." Excuses, excuses. Sure, some of them had to have been valid, but all of them? Every time? You’re not the most extroverted person in the world or anything either, but you knew that making friends required a little push. The only problem is no one wanted to push back. Whatever, it was fine, they weren’t worth it anyways. It was probably for the best. Might as well not waste your time around people who didn't want to be around you. 

But today was your day off. And without any friends, you had nothing to do. 

You could’ve done something at home, but what would you have done? Watch TV all day and order a pizza because you were too lazy to cook? Nothing’s good on TV, anyways. All the same garbage, playing at the same hour, every single day. You’re sick of it. Read that book you picked up in the winter? You already do that during work when it’s slow. And you’re almost done with it, anyways. Might as well milk out those last few chapters for the next slow day that arrives. Clean the house? Heh, yeah, no. You just spent all week working. You weren’t going to spend your one day for relaxation doing even more work. The dust bunnies could wait until your next day off. Even if you were tempted once again to just stay home and do nothing all day, it was beautiful outside. And you knew you couldn’t let such a sunny day go to waste, when you’re inside that stupid store the whole rest of the week. Even though you had no idea what you’d do out there, it was surely better than doing nothing. At the very least, you’d be able to say you got some fresh air. At least for a little while. And boy, could you use some.

And before you knew it, there you were! Stepping down the sidewalk in the park, surrounded by the sounds of birds singing and children playing, captivated by the chill summer breeze...And in the midst of it? You felt...as if you should probably just go back home. Despite how nice the weather was for a walk, you couldn't help but feel like...some sort of loser, walking all by yourself. 

You stopped in the middle of the park, and took a deep breath. It was a nice day and you were going to enjoy it, no matter what! In the pause of your little park stroll, you turned your head and looked off at the park stage. You never really thought about it since you moved here, but looking at it now, it was weird that the park had one. Only used during important events, and all...but your old town never had a stage like this, especially not one so prominent in the park before. But it’s not as though you could pay so much attention to this and yet ignore the giant Paul Bunyan statue, who you were currently and gratefully enjoying the shade under.

But it was impossible not to notice the stage right now, because so many people were crowded around it. It seemed as though everyone up there was hurriedly trying to decorate it. Frantic, as if they’d get the worst of it if they didn’t finish by nightfall. Everyone was busy setting up for the carnival, it appeared. You had heard about it’s arrival, and yet it seemed to come much quicker than you had anticipated. A banner hung across the front, as the people below it fuddled with their balloons and decorations and whatever else they had been tasked with in preparation. You could only imagine how hot and sweaty they must be all the way over there. But not you! For once, you had absolutely no work to do today, and it was nice to be on the other side of the counter for once. Here, under the shade of the trees (and Paul) as you walked the old sidewalk, with the breeze to cool you and a few shiny quarters in your pocket to buy yourself a cold treat if that wasn’t enough. Yep, you were feeling pretty good! Except for, well, the feeling of being that weird loser with no one to talk to. That was one glaring issue in an otherwise lovely summer day.

Little did you know, you wouldn’t be alone for much longer.

Turning your heel to continue on your stroll, you bumped into someone before you even turned your head away from the stage. You apologized immediately, before feeling your eyes pop out of your head after getting a good look at him.

“In quite the rush, are we?” he chuckled in a goofy, clownish voice , a bit of drool slobbering off his bottom lip that you could only imagine was caused by those giant buck teeth in his costume. And holy hell, what a costume it was.

You had to take a step back to get a good look at the whole thing, as he was a bit tall. But where do you even begin to describe this ensemble? He was...a clown, that’s for sure. Presumably also setting up for the carnival tonight, although it looked like it was still a bit early to get changed into full costume. Maybe they needed him to promote the carnival more? Let the townsfolk or tourists know it was going on tonight? But still, this costume...You wouldn’t want to offend him in any way, but it looked awful. Did the carnival team give him this? How long has this costume been here? It looked as if they had just found an extra in the back of some old, dusty closet and decided it would be good enough, so they wouldn’t have to spend any money to buy a new one. Not only was this horribly out-dated, with puffed sleeves, a huge skirt, and a thick ruffled collar, but it was...well, it was filthy! There was no getting around that! And to an extent, it even smelled...only worsened by the summer heat. You could clearly tell the costume was supposed to have a nice, periwinkle shine to it, but was terribly dulled down by the fine layer of dirt and dust covering it. Not to mention, it almost looked a bit torn in a few places. Probably not noticeable from far away, but up close? You could see every rip and tear, like the rats got to it before the carnival workers did. You could only imagine how uncomfortable it must be to wear, especially in the hot summer air like this. It looked so heavy... 

But the outfit itself wasn’t even all of it. The makeup he wore...it enshrouded his entire face, and then some. In fact, it even seemed as if they used some sort of paper mache or plaster to give the illusion of his forehead being bigger. Was it supposed to make him look funny? It...certainly made him look interesting. Red lines stretched out from across his plump, red lips and across his eyes, leading you up that tall forehead, and up to his fiery orange hair. It was in a tuft above his head, and curled outwards to the sides. Although the makeup work was quite impressive, it too...could’ve used some work. His makeup was already beginning to crack in places, and only became all the more evident when he moved or spoke at all. It looked like he had been wearing it all day, and could definitely use a touch up. And, again, in this heat...Thank goodness there was at least a breeze. You’re not sure how he wasn’t dying of thirst by now. Or, maybe he was. Not like you could tell.

All in all, it was a pretty impressive costume, and one you might’ve liked, had it been in some sort of play or something similar. But here, it just seemed...off-putting. Not quite right. Not necessarily bad, just unfitting. It was...off.

Ah, but that’s right. The topic at hand. He asked why you seemed to be in a rush. You were so caught up in your own thoughts you almost forgot to answer him. You told him that you weren’t in a rush, just not paying attention to where you were going. But, since you and he were both here anyways, you decided you might as well make some idle small talk with another living being for once. It was worth a shot, at the very least. Maybe he could be your first real Derry friend?

“So, what are you supposed to be, anyways?” You asked him. Or at least, something along those lines. You said it with a playful smirk, so that he knew you weren’t making fun of him, or anything like that.

“Me? Why, I’m Pennywise!” he cheered, smile ever-present on his face. “Pennywise theeee--” He stretched the E, shaking his head like a happy dog as he did so, and then announced “--DANCING clown!”

You gave him a small laugh as he did so. Dancing clown? You asked if he could show you a dance, then. 

“Oh, no, no, no, not now! Now’s not the time…” he said, voice still holding its goofy tone, as he cartoonishly wagged his finger. “...But I can show you something else!”

Something else? You asked him what something else meant, all the while getting a kick out of how in-character he was staying. His situation looked pretty shitty to you from the outside--hot costume on a hot day and all--but at least he was seeming to make the best of it!

“A balloon! A gift from me, to you!” he smiled, bowing slightly as he held the thin balloon string out to you between his pinched fingers. It’s here you noticed how starkly clean his gloves were compared to the rest of the costume...Was he always carrying that balloon? You were probably just too distracted by his campy costume to notice it.

Graciously, you took the bright red balloon from him. As you did so, it turned slightly, and you noticed the writing printed on the side. In big, bold letters, it spelled out “I ❤ DERRY”. 

“I love Derry?” You said aloud, and without thinking, followed it up with “Ha, I wish.”

“What’s the matter?” Pennywise responded, tilting his head slightly and placing a finger to his chin, like some curious little kid out of a cartoon. “You don’t like our good, sweet, Derry?”

You apologized once again, saying you didn’t mean to let that slip. Truthfully, Derry isn’t all that bad. In fact, there’s a lot WORSE places you could live outside of Derry. You don’t mean to go on a tangent, but you admit that you just haven’t been enjoying yourself here as much as you feel you should. It’s a fine place and all, but that’s exactly it. It’s JUST fine. And even if it was more than you had expected when you first came, your job sucks and you don’t really have any friends.

“Why, that’s not true!” he says, sporting a clowny pout and crossing his arms.

You ask him, “What’s not true?”

“No friends? Silly, silly, silly, dear old Pennywise is your friend!” he says, grin returning as he bows a bit forward once again, allowing his sleeves and skirt to bounce with the motion.

Admittedly, you were a bit surprised he was taking his character this far, but you weren’t complaining. It was kind of endearing, in that weird-sort-of way. A way only a clown could pull off, and he was doing it well. Still, you didn’t want to continue talking about your lack of friends to this stranger, and burden him with all your personal problems, so you tried to steer the conversation topic a different way. 

“Are you excited for the carnival tonight?” You asked him. The condition of his costume wasn’t the most apt, but you could easily see his friendly personality helping his image a lot.

“Of course! Aren’t you? The lights, the games...the smell of pop-pop-POPcorn and cotton candy! And the faces of so many smiling, HA-PPY children…” He trailed off, another strand of drool beginning to fall from his bottom lip. It was a bit gross, truthfully, but you guess you couldn’t blame him. You can imagine he probably hasn’t had a lunch break with the way this town operates, and talking about carnival food was probably making him hungry, even if it’s not the most filling thing for dinner…

You told him the carnival sounds like a lot of fun, but you’re not sure you’ll go. Even though you wanted to avoid talking about how little friends you have, you mention that if you did go, you’d be going alone, and that you’d just feel weird and out of place by doing so.

“You won’t be alone!” he reassured, placing his gloved hand lightly on his chest as he beamed at you, blue eyes glimmering with joy. “Pennywise will be there!”

You exhaled with a quick smile. It made you happy to know that at least someone here wanted you to cheer up and be your friend for once, even behind all the goofy clown stuff.

“Alright then. If you’re going to be there, then I promise I’ll meet you there.” you smiled in return, holding out your non-balloon-holding hand for him to shake.

Rather than shake it, however, Pennywise grabbed your wrist. His grip was strong, and despite the heaviness of his costume, his gloves felt cold and smooth against your skin. It took you aback a bit at first, having expected him to shake your hand instead of...whatever this was. But your concerns were quickly diminished as he grabbed the balloon out your other hand and tied the string to your wrist. After making sure the knot was firm and wouldn’t be coming loose anytime soon, he let you go.

“There.” he said, moving his gaze from your wrist and back up to meet your own. “Now you won’t lose it, and you won’t forget to see your friend Pennywise tonight.” 

You told him of course you wouldn’t. You had no one else to look forward to seeing, anyways.


	2. The Carnival

Night rolled around a few hours quicker than you expected it to. Summer nights usually took so long to get dark, and yet, the sky was draped black before you knew it. And, as the hours had passed, you kept the balloon tied to your wrist the entire time.

You’re not really sure why. You wouldn’t lose it unless you let go of it, and even if you did, would it even matter? It was just a balloon. Probably made for less than the cost of a soda and had thousands of identical copies. Still, though, it felt important to you. It was given to you after all, and served as a reminder that you were finally making some progress, making a friend, in this little town. If you lost it, it might’ve felt like you were letting down your friend before you even got to see him again.

When it got dark is when you started to make your way to the carnival grounds. You couldn’t miss it, with all the flashing lights, crowds of people, and of course, the smell of pop-pop-POPcorn as ‘Pennywise’ called it. You couldn’t get that sing-song voice out of your head after he said it. It stuck with you all day, just like that bright red balloon. And all of those senses only got stronger the closer you got. In some ways, it was almost overwhelming. But you didn’t mind. It was better than the underwhelming-ness of an empty store or your quiet house.

You stepped onto the fairgrounds, balloon still afloat. Now that you were here, you realize you hadn’t said where you would meet Pennywise, or at what time, for that matter. You kind of...didn’t plan anything at all, except for saying that you would meet him. But, that was probably fine. After all, it seemed like the party had just begun, and wasn’t planning on stopping anytime soon. You were sure that if you just looked around some, you’d run into him eventually, and you’d ask him how he thinks the carnival is going. 

You wandered around for a bit, pondering what you should do, or rather, what you’d do once you saw him again. You felt a bit weird, planning your whole night around seeing this...practical stranger you don’t even know the real name of. But to you, making one friend is better than none, and you’d take any friend you could get, in-character or not. But, right, what....what would you do when you saw him?

If Pennywise is standing in character all night, there’s probably not much you could do. At least, not with him. Would he be able to move from his post? If it was allowed, then maybe you could play some carnival games with him close by. Sure, they’re all rigged anyways, but maybe you’d win a prize if you were lucky enough. Hopefully you wouldn’t blow all your cash over the idea of winning a multi-colored plush seal, though... But even if he was only allowed to stay in one spot all night, you didn’t have a problem just standing there and talking to him some more. You wouldn’t get in trouble for that or anything, right? Either way, anything beat just sitting at home alone again.

As you wandered aimlessly, lost in thought, you felt a tap on the back of your shoulder, and turned around instinctively. You thought your clown-friend had found you first, but to your surprise, that wasn’t the case at all. Instead, you were greeted with the sight of a mother and her child. 

The mother had pale, blotchy skin, and scraggly, obviously-dyed blonde hair. The oval lenses of her thin, metal glasses reflected the carnival lights right back into your face, blotting out her eyes. Despite being in Derry, Maine, her red t-shirt proudly sported the phrase "TEXAS PROUD" in flaky orange letters. Catching eye of her shirt led your gaze to her son, who looked young enough to still be in elementary school. He had natural curly brown hair and was very clearly trying to cover his eyes with it, probably so you couldn't tell he was looking at you. But you could tell. Actually, more specifically, you could tell he was looking straight at your balloon. 

"Eck-scuse me, hate ta' be a bother…" the mother started, her accent shining through as if her shirt wasn't enough. "But mah' lil' boy ova' here was wonderins' where you got that balloon o' yours?" 

"Oh!" you answered, blinking a few times to bring yourself back to reality once again. You pointed in no specific direction and answered "I got it from one of the clowns." 

"Oooh, there's clowns here?" she reiterated, shifting her balance as she glanced to her little boy, as if she was notifying him by repeating herself. "Where'd you see 'em?"

Hearing that made you take an internal pause. It was brief, but it did bring a point across your mind. Where...where were the clowns? You saw Pennywise this afternoon, but ever since then, and since stopping in the carnival, you haven't seen one since. They had clown-themed attractions, such as games and even prizes, but you had yet to see any actual clowns since you got here. 

Despite this, you answered the mother with "Just keep looking around, I'm sure you'll run into one of them eventually!" and that seemed enough to satisfy her. Seemed to. You’re sure part of her might’ve wanted you to just give her son the balloon you had, and maybe you should have, but...you had gotten too attached to it by this point to just give it up. As embarrassing as that may be for an adult...you felt compelled to prove you held onto it. So after the lady and her kid were gone, you continued on your own hunt for a certain clown…but now just a bit more curious, keeping an eye out for any other clowns that...should exist…. 

You walked for a while, every time you were certain you had been somewhere before the layout before you seemed to change. But carnivals were always kind of like that, with so many people, and especially with so many similar booths...You were about to walk down a path you weren’t sure you checked yet, when you began to hear it. Was that...crying? Yeah, that...definitely was. Despite the loud noises of games and people and whatever else, you heard it. You heard it loud and clear. And as you drew closer to the source, it only got louder. Approaching a break in the fence wrapped around the carnival is where you find the source of the miserable noise. Just a few feet away is a thick, lonesome tree...but not completely lonesome, as slumped down behind it is...someone. Just enough of their side peeks out for you to see someone is there, but you'd recognize those puffy sleeves and curled hair anywhere! It's Pennywise! 

You jog on over to him, and the closer you get, the more...fake his tears sound. Like crocodile tears. You swear, you heard him say the words 'boo-hoo-hoo' in the midst of these sobs. Surely this was just another clown act then, no? But, if it was, then...what was he doing out here himself where no one could see him? Was he really just THAT dedicated to his character? 

….You began to doubt it.

Still, though, you made your way to his side and kneeled down to where he was sitting. His hands were curled into fists, rubbing at his eyes as the sniffles and cartoonish sobs continued. You patted his shoulder a few times to get his attention, and asked him what was wrong, as well as questioned what the hell he was doing out here by himself? Away from the carnival and all the fun stuff? What happened? 

Pennywise removed his hands from his face as he turned to you, with yellow eyes you could've sworn were blue when you last saw him. After about two seconds of staring at you with the saddest puppy-dog eyes you've seen a clown make, he turned his head back away from you and began sobbing again, causing you to repeat asking him what was wrong. 

"T-the children…" he blubbered, face hidden from you. "...t-they say I'm tooOOOooOooOOo scary! They don't want to be friends with ol' Pennywise…"

Again, you were off-put by this. Was he...actually crying? Or just playing a character? You really couldn't tell at this point. Surely if he was playing a character, he'd be out there with everyone else at the carnival, instead of hidden in the shadows. So, then, he must actually be upset, right? But if that's the case, why keep talking in the goofy clown voice? Why not...talk normally?

You thought Pennywise was cool when you first met him. Just some fun guy who was really into the idea of playing a clown and making people laugh. At the very least, he made you smile. But now he was just starting to weird you out...who the hell does stuff like this?

Still, though, you couldn't just up and leave right now. It’d have been rude, despite the discomfort you began to feel being near him right now. So, you tried to cheer him up to the best of your ability. Hopefully that'd make it all less awkward than it was currently. 

“Hey, it’s okay!” You told him. You reassured him that yes, he did have friends, just like he reassured you earlier. To prove your point even further, you held out your wrist to him, string still tied as tight as before “Look, I even kept the balloon you gave me, see? That means we’re friends.”

Pennywise sobbed a few moments longer, before picking his head up, a few sniffles escaping from him, and he wiped his eyes of any stray tears. You were surprised with such a crummy seeming costume, how well his makeup held up. Not a trace of it smudged, and even his gloves seemed bare of any staining makeup marks.

You thought at this point, that he was feeling better. That you’d both get up, and return back to the carnival. Instead, Pennywise turned himself towards you, both still sitting on the damp ground, and opened his arms to you. Oh. Oh boy.

Truthfully, you weren’t feeling all that up for a hug right now, especially with this man’s strange behavior. You felt yourself swallow uncomfortably and unintentionally, as a cold feeling slowly worked its way into your chest. Something about this didn’t feel right. This was weird. This whole situation was weird. But what were you to do? Run away? Make him cry again? It...it was fine. You were only a few feet from the carnival, and there was enough light so that people would be able to see you. Nothing bad would happen with so many people able to hear you, and see any commotion over here. Besides...hugs only last a few seconds, right? It seemed like the only way he would head back to the carnival...just a few seconds, and it would be over. So, you shifted awkwardly in your spot and reached out back to him, and before you knew it, you were in the tender embrace of the clown.

And all of a sudden, you felt...kind of nice. You didn’t really realize how touch-starved you had been until this point. When was the last time you got a hug, anyways? The most contact you ever had with other humans since moving to Derry was a handshake, and only if they were feeling friendly enough to give you one. Pennywise’s silk costume felt chill to the touch, and yet, wrapped in his arms, you felt positively warm, in a good way. You felt his hair tickle your face as he buried his head into your shoulder, letting out his last few sniffles into it. It’s then you realized how...large he truly was. He already seemed tall when you ran into him earlier, but now in his embrace, you felt completely encapsulated by him. He was like a big teddy bear, in a sense...or, in a more proper sense, a big sad clown.

You’re not entirely sure how long you were sitting there with him, hugging him. In fact, you had begun to feel a bit sleepy in his grasp. You kept your eyes open when you first gave him the hug, but as the seconds passed, you felt your eyelids begin to droop, and your surroundings begin to blur. Something about it all just felt...cozy. Despite feeling a bit spooked mere moments ago, you now felt...oddly relaxed. Like you were home in bed, wrapped up in the covers, ready to sleep and knowing you were in no rush to get up the next morning. That kind of cozy feeling. In some ways, it was worrying, but your brain seemed to be sending you mixed signals, by telling you that everything was alright. That you were safe here. That you had nothing to worry about. You wouldn’t need to fear. Not now, not ever. It was as if you had entered into a new state of serenity. And, if for just a moment, you felt as if you were floating…

And then, for another brief moment, there was a sharp pain in your shoulder.

It only lasted for less than a second, but the pain felt extraordinary. As if a bear or a wolf or some other kind of large-jawed animal had just taken a taste of you. But, before you could scream or make any pained noise, your attention was brought to something else. Or, rather, someone.

“Hey! Are you okay over there? What are you doing?” You heard the voice call out. Turning your head around, you could see the silhouette of a tall male figure, whose face was masked by shadow due to the carnival lights behind him. He was standing in the break in the fence from where you exited, and seemed to be holding some sort of drink in hand, assuring you he wasn’t some kind of carnival security come to yell at you for seeming like a stalker in the woods.

Quickly, you turned your head back towards where Pennywise just was, but it was as if he had vanished completely. There was no one there. And in fact, no indication that anyone had even been there to begin with. The grass under where he had been sitting wasn’t even flattened. But you didn’t have much time to think about it, wanting to respond to the stranger as soon as possible so he didn’t think you were some creep sitting in the dark, either. 

You got up and brushed the grass and dirt off yourself, waving to the stranger in an attempt to appear friendly and said “I’m good, I’m good! I just had to take a smoke break!” you lied, hoping that that was the most believable excuse. And that seemed to prove true, because he nodded his head in response, gave you a quick wave, and then went along his way. 

After he was gone, you looked back to where Pennywise had been again. No one there. You scanned the trees and area around you, and there was not a clown in sight. It baffled you how this could’ve been. Pennywise was gigantic, he couldn’t have just upped and ran without you noticing. You thought back to how you were in his arms under this tree just a moment ago, and now... no one.

...Speaking of things that happened under that tree, you reached for your shoulder with your opposite arm, the one Pennywise had nestled his face into. For that one second, it felt absolutely agonizing. And now, it felt like...nothing. You fiddled with your shirt to get a better look at your shoulder, and see what the hell it was that caused you to feel such great pain in such a blink of an eye. And, to your surprise, there was a bite mark there. Much bigger than a person’s mouth. Several holes surrounded your shoulder, creating a bite mark that looked like it was caused by way more teeth than any living being should have. As if you had retained multiple bite marks in the same spot. But you were nearly certain this was just one bite mark. But not even a bleeding, open one. Rather, it was already sealed, as if it was an injury you had sustained weeks ago.

You wanted to leave the carnival.

So you did.

And took note of how you didn’t see any clowns on your way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH sorry for such a bad country accent >__< but second chapter!! I must admit though, although I'm working on Chapter 3 right now and have an idea for Chapter 4, Chapters 1 and 2 were written before I started uploading here! And since I'm busy with college and other responsibilities, chapters may be a bit more sporadically spaced out from here on out! So I'm sorry if it takes a while for updates ^^" But writing this fic is a good way for me to wind down anyways, so hopefully I'll be able to update again soon! Thanks for reading again!


	3. The Night Shift

It’s been a few days since the carnival incident happened. Might’ve been three days, might’ve been four, who’s to say? You would know if you checked the calendar, but you couldn’t find a good enough reason why you should. You didn’t really want to remember that night, or the moments leading up to it. It all left a bad taste in your mouth, the kind that doesn’t leave no matter how many times you brush your teeth...

When you got back to your house that bizarre night, the first thing you did was call your boss. Or, rather, left them a voicemail when they didn’t answer the phone. You told them you wouldn’t be able to come in the next day. That you had been attacked by some sort of raccoon or something, and wanted to see a doctor first thing tomorrow. You did have the bite mark to prove it, after all, so you hoped they would understand. And hopefully some doctor would be able to take care of it, or, at the very least, explain how it happened.

Except, well, when you woke up the next day(After hours of trying and failing to sleep that night...) the bite had completely vanished. Gone. Not a scar in sight. It was as if nothing was there to begin with, just like a certain clown you met last night…

It began to freak you out. What was this? Had you finally lost your mind? You felt as if you stared in the mirror forever that day, fingers tracing over the spot where the mark had been. Nothing. There was nothing there. It was impossible for you to comprehend.

It worried you sick the first day after the incident. You stayed at home and did nothing except eat and watch TV. The same TV you had criticized for showing “nothing but garbage” earlier now seemed so comfortable and familiar. Every repeat episode and unfunny sitcom felt like the best thing you had seen on TV, and you used it as a distraction to the worry that was stirring in your gut. Every now and again, you would reach your fingers up to that same shoulder, and trace your fingertips again over where the mark should have been. You’re not even sure what you’d have done if you felt it there again. But to have it suddenly disappear like that confused you like nothing ever had before. 

You eventually rationalized it to yourself by telling yourself that the loneliness had gotten to you. Started to make you see things. Started to make you feel things. Hallucinations were like that, right? Loneliness did that to people, right? Yeah, that sounded right, and you were not compelled at all to look it up and double-check. Perhaps the Pennywise you met during the day was a real guy, and the one you saw at night was just...some weird hallucination. Your mind made it up based off the man you had met earlier. The bite, too. You were just lonely and tired, and way too hot. That was it. Just a scary hallucination from your lonely, sleep-deprived mind, and nothing more. That was all there was to it. It had to be. 

Wanting to move on from that terrifying experience, you decided you would forget about it and go to work the next day, and for once you felt as if you wouldn’t be reluctant to clock in. 

And to your surprise, work really did help your mood and feelings, actually! Helped you feel more normal. Sometimes, just being around people is enough to help you feel more like a human being. Idle chit-chat and small talk with customers didn’t really help you feel less lonely, but did help you feel less alone, if that made sense. And after about two or three days of working again, back on schedule, stacking shelves and taking inventory and helping customers, everything felt right back to the way it was. The way it had always been. 

But tonight was a bit different, even from your usual schedule. Because you were working the night shift tonight.

Unlike most convenience stores, yours did not stay open 24 hours. Well, you used to in the past, but things have been a little rough recently. Sometimes it surprises you how the store manages to stay afloat sometimes. But it was your one source of income, so it was better not to question it, God forbid you jinx yourself and are out of a job.

Anyways, you were short of staff, and because of that, you closed every night at 2 AM, and opened again at 9:30 AM. Usually only one person worked at a time. And although you were usually in-charge of the morning shift, you were on closing shift tonight. Your coworker had some wedding or funeral or whatever else to attend to, meaning everyone else would have to pick up extra weight while they were gone. And somehow, someway, that left you taking the night shift this time.

And of course, the one night you’re not home, it has to be unbearably humid.

There you sat, behind the counter, sweating like a pig in the hot sun. Except there was no sun, only cheap fluorescent lights, one of which flickered every few minutes. They buzzed with electricity, but it could barely be heard over the sound of the small white fan beside you. It sat on the counter, a bit dingy and slow, waving its head back and forth like it was taking surveillance. The breeze it provided hardly felt cool, but it was better than nothing at all. At the very least, it kept your hair from sticking to your face in this humid atmosphere. Part of you was even tempted to just get up, open the ice cream freezers, and stick your head in, just to cool off a little bit before returning to your rickety folding chair behind the counter.

Your counter sat at the end of the store, opposite the large glass front doors, and you sat behind it. In your hands you had the book you had been waiting to finish up, and in your mouth you had a candy bar you stole from the front of the counter. That was OK, right? It was just one candy bar, surely no one would miss it, or even notice it was gone! Taking a break from your book, you glanced up at the clock on the wall. “12:15” it read. At least, you were pretty sure that’s what it read. It wasn’t always the easiest to read from where you were seated.

You sighed, knowing there was still about 2 hours before you’d be allowed to leave. Technically, no one was here to stop you from just closing up early and going home right now...But, no. You couldn’t risk it. Even though you hadn’t had a customer since 10, the last time you worked night shift and closed early didn’t end well. Supposedly some wacko who was awake at these untimely hours of the night had filed a complaint that you were closed when you weren’t supposed to be. Just your luck. The next morning, your boss was furious with you, and threatened to fire you if you let it happen again. Hell, you’d love to be rid of this job! But you currently didn’t have any back-up job planned, so getting fired probably wasn’t the smartest idea, as tempting as it seemed sometimes…

You stared back into the pages of your book, noting how you only had less than a quarter of the pages left before you finished. You tried to read slowly, really ingest it, because once those pages were gone, you’d have nothing to do for the rest of your time here. You’d be forced to stare at the clock or pick up one of the magazines on the front of the counter. Then you’d have to read about some dumb celebrity drama you don’t care about, or read through some recipe you’d never make. And you really didn’t want to do that.

You had gotten so lost in the pages that it startled you when you heard the bell at the front door ring, signifying that someone had just stepped into the store. You picked your head up to greet them, but when you did, there was nobody there. The only movement to be seen was from the bell, slowly swinging from its spot above the door, before it came to a complete stop, and all was quiet again. You eyed around the shop from your chair. You didn’t see anyone, but soon enough you heard a bit of rustling from behind one of the aisles. It made you a bit nervous and a bit suspicious that you couldn’t see them, but you had assumed they were just some junkie here to get some chips or something. You swallowed your nervousness, and tried to return back to your book. 

But the rustling got louder. A lot louder. Like they were aggressively throwing bags off the shelves, or something along those lines. What the hell? Could they not find something? Or were they just ruining the shelves to mess with you? You felt yourself become more alert. Your shoulders stiffened, and your breath became tense. You felt energy shift into your legs, as you put your book down and stood up behind the counter, legs spread defensively. One arm was balled into a fist at your side, and the other hovered over the security button underneath the counter...Just in case... 

“Hey...What are you doing over there?” You asked, trying not to let your voice crack. The sweat that covered you was no longer because of the heat. 

“...Do you need help with something?” You offered, not wanting to appear too threatening, just in case this person wasn’t actually trying to mess with you. You expected an answer after that second question, but everything went silent. The rustling stopped suddenly. Whoever it was didn’t say anything. You didn’t say anything. Everything was quiet, except for the buzzing of the lights above you, the hands of the clock on the wall, and the stupid fan that kept blowing beside you. The sound of it creaking, turning its head back and forth again felt like nails on a chalkboard. It was almost as if it was mocking you, reminding you of how much time had passed since all became quiet. 

How long were you going to stay like this? Did you dare try to speak up again? What were they doing over there? Why wouldn’t they come out, or at the very least say something? You felt the cold chill of panic begin to swell within you with each passing moment. The shoulder where your bite should have been began to itch. You were tempted to scratch it, but didn’t dare move your hands from either position they were currently in. God forbid, God forbid…

You felt your lips begin to part as you felt courageous enough to ask another question, when the whole shelf collapsed to the floor, bags of food and small home supplies spilling everywhere like candy out of a piñata. The person who entered was not behind the collapsed shelf.

Oh, FUCK this!

You immediately pressed the security button, knowing that the police would arrive in only a few minutes. But, as soon as you did so, you felt your heart nearly burst at the insane thing that happened right before your eyes. As soon as you had pressed the button, dozens among dozens among hundreds of bright red balloons began to flood from underneath the counter. Oh, and they FLOODED. It wasn’t long before the entire floor was covered in balloons, most of which had already begun floating, knocking into you and making you feel a type of fear you had only ever experienced in your nightmares. But deep down, you felt as if this was real. As unbelievable and inexplicable the situation before you was, it all felt painfully real.

It was chaos. You had never seen or had even expected to experience anything like this. How could you have? It was bewildering! The lights in the store flickered rapidly, the sound of rustling and things knocking over continued, but from all directions this time, even from behind you. Like you were surrounded by the sounds and vibrations of anything and everything crashing down. And it only got louder. Louder, and louder, until you could feel the vibrations surging through your bones. You struggled to move in a sea of balloons. More and more kept flooding out, from all directions this time, more than you had ever seen before. They were encapsulating you, and didn’t even pop when you stepped on or tried to hit them. Some of them had even begun to stick to you...You felt like it wouldn’t be long before you drowned in them if this kept up. Seeing no other way out of this mess, you desperately looked to the front door, hoping that if you just got over the counter, you could make a run for it and get the hell out of here.

And when you were able to move around the balloons enough to see, you felt your heart catch in your throat, as you saw a familiar figure standing right out on that sidewalk.

He wasn’t well lit, but the outline of his form could not be denied. The puff of his sleeves, the curl of his hair, and the frame of his skirt. His tall figure reached above the top of the door. The clown...the clown again. Were you really just hallucinating this time? There’s no way he could really be out there...the carnival was days ago! It was over! And yet, here, again, it seemed as if...Pennywise…

What the hell was all of this? What was happening? This really couldn’t be real, could it? And yet, everything that was happening felt so...

Despite standing mere inches from the door, the figure you presumed to be Pennywise did not move at all. He just stood there, watching you. Eventually, his hands came up to touch themselves against the glass, but he didn’t move any further than that, or reach for the door at all. Still, just watching you, like a kid behind the glass of his fish tank. 

The world around you felt like it was spinning, completely out of control, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. Your heart pounding faster and more intensely than ever before, you felt as though you were going to faint from the sheer confusion and terror of it all. As if that wasn’t enough, your vision had suddenly gone red. And you realized that the balloons overflowing the area had made their way up to your face. They covered you, stuck to you, squeezed you, as if finally beginning to suffocate you of the air you were already struggling to breathe.

And then, you blinked.

And suddenly, it was as if none of the past 10 minutes happened at all. There were no balloons. There were no knocked over shelves, everything stood upright. Nothing had fallen on the floor. All the bags, items, and other little things were all perfectly and neatly shelved, just like they had always been. The floor was spotless. For just a second, you could’ve believed that maybe you fell asleep on the job, and all of what just happened was a nightmare you had. Despite how real it felt when you were living it, maybe it really was just a dream in the end...The only issue in believing that was true was the sound and glow of sirens outside. Red, blue, red, blue again...Looks like the security button worked after all.

Taking a deep breath, and keeping your arms up, just in case they mistook you for the threat, you went outside to greet the police officers. Many of them dropped their guard once they saw you were wearing the store’s uniform and name tag. A few officers walked past you to take a look inside the store, while another approached you. She had dark eyes, and dark braided hair that cascaded down her shoulders, leading your eyes right to her shiny silver badge. She carried a notepad, and after she had confirmed that you were the person who pressed the button, she pulled out a pencil, licked the point, and then pressed it to the paper on her notepad as she began to ask you questions.

You tried to answer her questions and explain the situation to the best of your ability. Of course, you were smart enough to know you couldn’t just tell her about the things with the balloons, or the crashing sounds, or the wild flickering lights. Despite how badly you wanted to tell her, and even if that is what you experienced, she never would’ve believed you. She would’ve just thought you were crazy. It sounded unbelievable even just thinking about it, you couldn’t imagine how it would sound out loud. So, you tried to translate what had actually happened into a much more believable story, but one that still justified you having gotten the police involved.

You told her that you were the only person working tonight, and that things were pretty slow for a while. Then, at approximately midnight, you began to hear a lot of loud noises coming from the back. Like things being moved, or even knocked over. You also thought you heard voices, like people talking. Their voices sounded deep, like adult voices. You didn’t want to go and investigate yourself, as you were scared they might’ve had weapons. You didn’t want to just wait there and see if they did. So, you pushed the security button, hoping that the police would take care of the situation, or, at the very least, scare the crooks off.

And your story appeared to work! It seemed to be a believable enough story, at the very least. The officer nodded along as you talked, seemingly writing down every word. Then, her pencil came to an almost abrupt stop a few seconds after you finished telling your story. She looked up at you and asked,

“Anything else?”

And hesitantly, you answered,

“...A clown.”

“A clown?” She repeated, blinking twice, and leaning her head a bit forward, as if to make sure she heard you correctly.

If there was one true thing you could include in this story, it should at least be this. Even if it could’ve just been in your head, it...it felt important. You explained to her that while the whole ordeal was happening, you think you saw somebody in a clown costume, standing outside of the store. It was too dark to see properly, but you’re sure you saw something of that nature outside. They didn’t come in at all, just stood outside the windows. As if watching you. And of course, they were gone by the time the police showed up.

She seemed to believe you here, too. Thank goodness for that. After you told her about the clown, she shook her head as she jotted it down, mumbling something like “Some fuckin’ people are just absolutely nuts…Never got anything better to do with their time...”

Eventually, after what felt like hours, you were able to go home. In fact, the police even took you home, perhaps as a precaution so that you felt safe. They said they would be in contact with you and your store, and let you know what they find out about the situation. Since you’ve never had to use the security button before, they seemed confident that you were completely serious about what you think happened, and assured you that you weren’t in any trouble for it, not with them or your boss. You were thankful for that, the last thing you needed was more stress right now. Tonight was exhausting as it is, and the way they talked to you...it sounded as if they could tell you seemed a bit shaken by it all.

They dropped you off at your front steps and didn’t leave until you were completely inside the safety of your home. 

But you didn’t feel safe.

You reached up to your shoulder and started scratching at it, finally. The more you scratched, the more it seemed to itch...

You headed to your bedroom taking careful footsteps, resting one arm against the wall, hoping that once you woke up the next morning, you wouldn’t have another experience like this again. And you prayed that this, too, was just another figment of your untamed imagination.

It had to be. It had to be…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, here we go!! I wasn't planning to upload Chapter 3 this early, since I don't have any other chapters prewritten yet, and I like to stay ahead! But today is Stephen King's birthday, so how could I not? I'm not all that confident in my writing of scary-ish or actiony scenes in this manner, but I think it's okay! And I hope you like too! 
> 
> Like I said, I don't have any other chapters prewritten yet, so Chapter 4/Others may take a little longer, especially since I'm busy with school and stuff too! Still though, I've been having a lot of fun working on this fic and I'm excited to see where it will go!


	4. The Next Day Off

Remember how you said you'd get rid of all the dust bunnies on your next day off? Well, technically, that day was after the carnival. But you were feeling too weirded out that day, so TODAY was the day you'd clean the house. And you really oughta, too. It needed it. 

You're embarrassed to say you don't clean as much as you should. But can you blame yourself? You're always busy, and by the time you get back from work you’re exhausted. And really, who wants to spend their free time cleaning up ? Besides, it's not like you ever have company over anyways. 

Being the only one living here, your house isn't overly messy, but that also means no one ever helps you clean up the place either. No one helps with the dishes, no one helps with the laundry, no one helps with taking out the trash. It’s all on you! So every mysterious stain was yours to take care of, and every creepy-crawly coming out of the woodwork was yours to kill. 

In preparation, you donned old clothes today. The kind of clothes you wear when you know they’re going to get messy. The kind with paint stains you don't even remember working with, and that classic rough texture of thoroughly-worn clothes. They smelled like the back of the closet, in a somewhat nice sort of way. The smell of getting down to work.

You took out all you would need for cleaning. A mop, a broom, some bleach, some vinegar, some old rags, some paper towels, all the good stuff. Because this? This wasn't just going to be a simple house-cleaning, no no no, this was going to be a DEEP clean. So clean that you wouldn't even need to worry about cleaning it for another 6 months, maybe even more! The kind of clean that you could eat off the floor if you needed to! Even though you totally wouldn’t, but your house would be THAT clean! You were determined to make it so!

And, hopefully, it'd clean away all the bad stuff from your mind, too. 

You have to admit to yourself, you weren’t planning to clean the house just because it was a bit dirty...part of you hoped it’d help distract you from all the worrying things that had been happening lately. Maybe, by cleaning, your mind would stay busy and focused, and wouldn’t have the time or the energy to conjure up anything else scary. Your imagination had been taking you all sorts of crazy places lately, and a recent hallucination made you seriously worried about your mental state. You wanted to take a step away from all that. Keep your mind in one place, only focused on the task at hand: cleaning. But of course, try as you might, you couldn't keep your brain from wandering where it pleased… 

You don’t remember the steps you took to get here. All you remember is placing a sponge in your hand and standing in the bathroom, and everything seemed to work itself out from there. Scrubbing down your bathroom sink, you began to wonder about the things you had been seeing these last few days. It was only two incidents, really, but even one would've been enough to be alarming… 

For now, let’s just say, you’re right. All these weird happenings, just...vivid dreams and hallucinations caused by a lonely mind. Well? What do you do to fix it? If being lonely is the issue-how do you make it go away? Being friends with your coworkers was out of the question at this point...but what about everyone else?

Maybe...Maybe you could join a book club? You were just about finished with a book, after all. That’s a good way to talk to and meet people...plus, you’d be bonding over something you liked. Were book clubs still a thing, even? But, even if they were...you still don’t know. It might be weird. If it’s a book club that’s already been existing, then everyone in it is probably already friends...They might not like you trying to interrupt their circle. And, if you made your own book club...would you look like a loser for doing so? Would anyone even want to join once they saw you were the only member, starting this because you had no friends of your own to talk to? ...Well, even with those possibilities, you’d think about it…

Maybe you could join a sport? It’d help you meet people, and you’d be more active by doing so, which was a nice plus. Though, most people like to play competitive...and even if you did play casually, you wouldn’t really have the time to practice between your job and all. Not to mention, if you sustained an injury, such as breaking your arm or leg, you weren’t really looking forward to paying a medical bill on top of everything else you have to cover already...

Maybe once you eventually found a new job, you could make friends there instead. Maybe a job with more people. Maybe a job with nicer staff. Maybe a job where you aren’t totally stuck in a dead-end. Maybe even just a similar job in a different store. You could do that! You’d remind yourself to look for any listings tomorrow. There had to be something out there!

Hell, maybe you could even just get a pet. You’ve seen the wonders animals can do for people. The way they talk about their pets like messiahs, and the way their mood improves just from being around them for less than a second. Maybe a dog or a cat or something...Standard pets. They’d be cute, and cuddly, and something to open your door to after a grueling day at work...But that’s exactly it, isn’t it? Could you really own a dog or cat when you spend so much time away from home? Dogs need to be walked, let outside to use the bathroom...Cats are climbers, they could knock your stuff over and cause plenty of damage. What if they ran out of food or water while you were gone? And even aside from their basic needs, they’d get lonely too. Both of those animals would require a lot of attention, otherwise you’re just making them the lonely ones in your place.

Maybe something that was...less maintenance? Didn’t mind if you were there or not? Maybe something like a lizard, or a turtle? Yeah, a turtle could be nice… Just keep them in a tank, make sure their food is filled each day, and voila! A simple and easy pet. Someone for you to talk to and would have no problem taking care of itself!

But...no, no. You knew that wouldn’t be the case, even if you wanted to convince yourself otherwise. You know there’s no such thing as a low maintenance pet. Every animal would have their own specific needs to be met, and with your work schedule, you knew you weren’t in a place to meet any of those needs right now. It’d be unfair to the animal, and you couldn’t do that to them. Maybe one day, but certainly not one day soon…

Say, weren’t you just cleaning the bathroom? When did you move to the kitchen? Time sure flies when you’re lost in thought like this. The bathroom was probably clean enough, though. Here you were hoping cleaning would distract you from your thoughts, and yet it seemed like your thoughts were the ones distracting you from cleaning. But you assumed you were doing a good enough job, at the very least. A little clean is better than not clean at all.

You tried to keep your focus on the kitchen and cleaning again. And inevitably, your train of thoughts shifted back into how alone you were, and what you were going to do to fix it. You explored hundreds of possibilities in your head, but none of them seemed to fit right. They either took up too much time, or were something you weren’t interested in, or for some reason or another, just wasn’t going to work out. You weren’t really in a position to be picky, and yet, you couldn’t help but shut down any option that didn’t perfectly work with your schedule. You told yourself you were just being rational, but were you really? Or were you just making excuses again? You began to get mad at yourself. You knew you were better than this! And if loneliness was really killing you this badly, why wouldn’t you just do something about it already? Was it not worth it to even try?

Eventually, you did it. You cleaned your whole house. At least, you did the most you thought you could do. And you must say, it DID look pretty nice, even if you were the only one who’d see it. But that’s all that really mattered, right? It was your house, so as long as you were happy with it, that was the end of it! Hell, it even smelled super clean! The strong scent of vinegar and bleach...It reassured you you did a job well done. Normally you would’ve found the stench obnoxious, but here, it felt like a reward. A congratulations to yourself for getting it all done.

And BOY, were you exhausted from it! Rigorous cleaning of any and every room, followed by arguments with yourself ...who wouldn’t be exhausted from it all? Although the night was beginning to draw to a close, you couldn’t sleep without sparing just a little time for yourself. Besides, you were starving after that long day, and you weren’t about to sleep on an empty stomach, either. Hungry, tired, and smelling bleach all day. It was amazing that you somehow managed to NOT get a headache this whole time. 

You cooked up something quick for yourself. You couldn’t remember what, but did that really matter? All you knew was that it tasted amazing with how starving you were after the long day. After, you took a shower. It felt like the most rewarding shower you’d had in a long while...the sweat that covered you from working so hard was replaced by the refreshing clean water coming from a newly cleaned shower. It was heavenly. And, after finishing up, drying yourself off a bit, you headed down to the living room, deciding to watch an hour or two of TV before heading back up for bed. It was the least you could treat yourself to after the hours of cleaning you just did.

You reclined on the couch, and still slightly damp from your shower, reached for the remote and flicked the TV on. It was the only thing illuminating your dark living room. You pulled the throw blanket that draped over the couch onto yourself, making you feel nice and cozy. The screen of your television buzzed to life, and you were greeted by the familiar laugh-track of a sitcom you had seen way too many times before. You scrolled through the channels a bit, looking for something you could cuddle up on the couch with and distract yourself from any bad thoughts. It was finally YOU time and you were going to enjoy it.

And you did, mostly. Nothing spectacular was on TV, but there were a few shows that gave you a few small laughs. Some you knew already, and others that you never saw before. Some shows that were new on TV for once. You made sure to make a mental note of the channels they played on. And once the screen of the latest episode you watched faded to black, you clicked the button on your remote again, and told yourself you’d watch just one last thing before you go to bed.

It took a second, but before you knew it the TV lit up with a program you had never seen before. But not like the other new shows you tried tonight, no...this was something entirely different. For one, it was in black and white, and the grain that appeared with it definitely let you know this was a bit of older programming. Music blared in the background as soon as the channel had changed, as three men on a stage began to dance, and one began to sing:

“Well, they've got a new dance and it goes like this!” he sang, in that strange sort of old-fashioned tone you couldn’t really place. The performers sang and danced, tapping their feet and snapping their fingers to the rhythm on this little wooden stage, their band playing behind them. Loudly, too. Your TV’s volume wasn’t set that high, so perhaps this channel was just a bit louder than the rest...

Well, it was certainly different from your usual programs, but not something you were interested in watching. You clicked the channel button on your remote once again, only to find that the next channel was playing the exact same thing. That was...strange. You clicked for the next channel, right? Did your TV glitch out on you? You pressed the button again, and once again, found yourself watching the same show.

“And you’ll learn to do this, the Peppermint Twist!” it continued. You were taken aback. You had begun to doze off on the couch as you were watching TV, but this certainly woke you up. You tried again. And again. And again and again. The same show, each channel, playing seamlessly across them all. Testing it, you punched in the numbers of random channels. 62, 48, 27...all the same thing. What was happening?

“And you’ll learn to do this, the Peppermint Twist!” they said again, seeming to finish up the song...only to have it start back up again, as if on loop. No, no, no no no. You weren’t doing this again. You weren’t going to let something freaky happen again. Not this time!

You pressed the power button. But the TV refused to shut off. You pressed it again, harder. The show continued to play. You pressed it repeatedly, and still, nothing changed. Frantic, you flung the blanket off your body, as you dove from the couch and to the TV itself, fingers fumbling for the power button. You pressed your fingers hard against the button on the TV, so much that you felt as if you would break it. It still didn’t work. You couldn’t figure out what this was, and why nothing was working. You tried to keep your breathing steady, not wanting your mind to run ahead of itself again. And, as if this all wasn’t enough, another noise rang throughout your home. One that was definitely not coming from the TV. 

Cautiously, you spun your head to look behind you, although you were certain you didn’t want to see what was there. Only darkness greeted you, but the sound continued, drawing closer to you with each passing second. Footsteps. Heavy, deep footsteps. Paralyzing pauses in between them. Much too heavy for a human, and taking much longer than it should take anyone to get to where you were from the direction they were coming from. The TV was no longer the most worrying thing in your vicinity. Your shoulder began to itch.

And then, the voice. It scratched against your eardrums, causing dread to work its way from your head and sink to every other part of your body. It laid heavy in your stomach. The same, goofy voice you heard when you met him. It rumbled against the walls of your home. It wasn’t funny anymore.

“OoooOooooOOooh…” it groaned, echoing and miserable. “Won’t you teach me how to daaAAAaaanNNCee~?”

And suddenly, two long arms reached out from the darkness. Only...arms. They stretched inhumanly long, like piping, like branches, like snakes charging for the kill. Clean, white gloves belonging to arms in a filthy satin suit grabbed you before you could even hope to run from them. You screamed in terror, but your cries of fear were not enough to drown out the now booming sound of the television.

“Well, meet me baby down at 45th street!” The TV persisted, as you were being dragged against the floor, your nails scraping the wood as you tried to grab onto anything to stop this.

“Where the Peppermint Twisters meet!” 

You yelled until your voice couldn’t go any higher and flailed until your limbs went numb, but to no avail. Nothing and no one was coming to save you. 

“And you'll learn to do this…” 

You couldn’t see his face in the darkness, but you could feel it there. You could smell his breath as he exhaled into your face. It reeked of something rotten. It was hot, and wet, and it was suffocating. 

Yellow eyes suddenly pierced into yours, with no trace of a soul or mercy behind them. And pierce was the proper word, for the longer they looked at you, the more stinging of a sensation you could feel envelope your face. Somehow, it felt as if they really were burrowing into you. And it hurt.

In a raspy, hungry voice, you heard it whisper,

“No one ever wants to dance with the clown….”

The light sound of a jaw opening followed. The sound of lips parting, and saliva splitting as it stretched apart. That sound. You felt something uncomfortably hot begin to drip onto your face, and a wave of heat blasted into you as it exhaled again. You felt like you would die of a heart attack before whatever this was finished you, and…

“THE PEPPERMINT TWIST!”

You jolted awake, hand clinging to your chest in panic as you coughed out hurried exhales, your heart racing a mile per minute. Once you had finally calmed yourself enough to register your surroundings, you took note of them, and what was around you right now. You were laying on your couch, in the same spot you were before. Your blanket was still wrapped around you, snug and showed no trace of having been moved from you. Your TV was on, playing a rerun of a sitcom. The daughter of the family was having an argument with the mother. It was in color. A laugh-track ensued following a mediocre joke. There was no one dancing or singing, and the sound of the TV was set at an appropriate volume.

A nightmare. Just... a nightmare. 

Just a nightmare. 

You breathed a sigh of relief, still waiting for your heart to slow down. You were relieved to have just had a nasty dream this time, instead of another hallucination...Despite how real it felt. So real, that you could practically still smell that rotten odor in it, despite how clean your house had just become...

This nightmare, despite being just a dream, however, was the last straw. You weren’t going to wait any longer. Sure, maybe it was an exaggerated reaction to a silly dream you had, but to you, it was a sign that this couldn’t wait. You had considered it before, but this was the push that told you to do it already.

Once they opened tomorrow morning, you were going to call and set up an appointment. Forget the book clubs and pets and whatever else you were considering.

You were going to seek professional help first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey gang!! Hope I didn't keep you all waiting too long! School's been kicking my ass a bit but that hasn't stopped me yet! I hope you enjoy this chapter, though I know our favorite clown has only been doing a few spooks here and there so far...But I've already got an idea for the 5th chapter, and I think it'll take this fic in an interesting direction! Hopefully in between school and all I'm able to keep updating regularly. Thanks for all the support and I hope to work on the next chapter soon!


	5. The Therapist

These seats were uncomfortable. You couldn’t stop shifting in them. Just normal waiting room chairs, and yet they felt so much more uncomfortable than they had in any other waiting room before. They felt itchy, and rough, and harder to tolerate the longer you sat. Although, you were certain this wasn't the chairs fault, and the discomfort was likely being caused by the nervousness you felt alone. 

Just like at work, fluorescent lights above you buzzed and kept the room bright. Almost too bright. It bothered your eyes a bit. But maybe that, too, was just nerves causing you to feel that way. 

Besides you, there were three other people in the waiting room. You all sat off into the empty chairs in different corners of the room. You had caught a glimpse of the parties when you walked in, but promptly sat down and tried not to look at anyone after. It’s rude to stare, after all. But you vaguely remember what they all looked like.

To your left seemed to be a girl and her mother. At least, you assume it's her mother. The adult woman clutched her purse sitting on her lap, and you could see her heels on the floor still despite keeping your head down. Her feet were together and her posture was straight. 

Her presumed daughter sat next to her. She had long, straightened hair and her loud POPS! of bubblegum broke the silence in the room every minute or so. She sat legs crossed, in flip-flops, and idly texting on her phone. Despite how much more relaxed she appeared, you couldn't tell which one of them was here for therapy. 

To your right was an older man. Much older. You immediately saw the wrinkles on his face when you came in. He wore an old baseball cap, sporting a logo you didn't quite get a good look at. He had one hand rubbing his chin, as the other flipped through a magazine he was holding. You wondered if he brought it with him, seeing as you didn't see any spare magazines or other reading material when you came in. 

And then there was you. Head down, looking as if you just got in trouble and are waiting outside the principal's office. You knew this wasn't an embarrassing thing, it shouldn't be. You didn’t even know anyone here, you had no reason to be embarrassed! And yet…

Despite having been the last to arrive here out of everyone, your name was called first. You felt your face go a little red as you walked to the front counter, hoping the other parties weren't upset you got to go ahead of them. It’s a good thing you couldn’t see their faces.

The woman behind the desk greeted you with a smile. She had a kind face, with rosy cheeks and a shade of lipstick that was a bit too bright for her complexion. Her hair bounced with her as she spun in her rolling chair, collecting files and whatever else as she double-checked your information.

After confirming with her who you were, she gave you another smile and said, “Alrighty, then! You’re gonna head down this hall, make a right, and allllllll the way at the end! You’ll be in room 107. Lillian will be with you shortly.”

You found it a bit strange that the receptionist would refer to your therapist with her first name, but you didn’t question it. Merely thanked her, and went on your way.

You walked down the hall, white walls seeming to close in on you as your tense nerves weren’t leaving any time soon. Every door looked the same as the one before it, and you felt compelled to walk quicker with each one you passed. Like it was rushing you. Eventually, you got to the room you’d be meeting her in. The door was open a crack, and you took that as a sign to invite yourself in. 

Opening the door, you were greeted by a very cozy-looking room, one that seemed so different in comparison to the professionalism of the rest of the building. The walls were a deep shade of brown, matching the bookshelves that lined them. There was a window on one wall, filtering light in through sheer curtains, leading your eyes to the seating area. Big, comfy couches stacked with dozens of pillows. Neutrals and light colors made up the color-scheme, and only the light flittering through the window illuminated it all, making everything seem so much softer than if the lights were on. It was like you entered into an entirely different dimension. And it certainly helped in making you feel more comfortable being here…

You took a seat on one of the couches, scrunching yourself in a bit, afraid to take up too much room, despite the multitude of places you could sit in here. You nearly sunk right into the couch with how soft it was! You had to squirm around a bit until you really felt comfortable. You hoped your therapist would be with you shortly, or at the very least, that this time spent waiting for them wouldn’t count towards the hour you were paying for. Waiting here, though, cuddled up on this couch, pillows surrounding you, only natural lighting...you honestly felt as if you could just fall asleep right now and let all your troubles melt away here. 

But you were quickly made awake again as you heard the door behind you creak open, and turned to see who it was. You had been expecting a woman, naturally, but to your surprise, a man walked through the door. 

He was wearing a dark, fitted sweater over a button up shirt, partnered with a pair of beige slacks and a simple belt. He seemed about your age, maybe a tad older...It caught you off guard a bit, because you had to admit to yourself, you did find him rather...attractive. Swept, brown hair with a tinge of orange highlights in it. They appeared to be natural, as far as you could tell. Tall, with a symmetrical face, stunning green eyes and full lips… As he caught sight of you, he smiled, and you felt a tightness in your chest. It was a bit hard not to be intimidated by pretty people…

He spoke your name, and followed it with “Hello, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Robert Gray, I’ll be your therapist.” 

You blinked twice, taking you out of the daze you were in from appreciating his features. He held out his hand to you, and instinctively, you shook it, asking him, “Robert Gray? I...Sorry, I thought I was meeting with someone named Lillian?”

“Ah, right.” he said, taking a seat down across from you, tucking his legs in a similar fashion to you. It was a bit silly to see a grown man just so casually sit on a couch like that. You wondered how you must’ve looked to him in the same position, then. “Lillian had an emergency at the last minute, so I decided to see you in her place.” he reassured, folding his hands together. “Now, then, let’s get right to it. What’s been bothering you?”

You gulped a bit, and averted your eyes. His physical appearance still intimidated you, and maybe you’d be less nervous talking to him if you weren’t looking directly at him. “Well, Mr. Gray…”

“Oh, no, please! Call me Robert...Or, Bobby, if you prefer...” he insisted with a laugh. With only a quick glance to his face, you felt a blush begin to arise in your cheeks, and had to look away again. You didn’t know what came over you. Just that, well, he was cute, and that made you feel nervous. You had no idea how this was going to work if you could barely even look at the guy…

“W...Well, Robert, I, uh…” you fumbled over your words...where do you even begin with something like this? “I...I’ve been worried about my social needs, recently. I think I’m too lonely…” you admitted, feeling shame begin to settle itself into your skin and tighten the airways in your body. Maybe the real reason you were blushing was because of how embarrassed you were. “...and it’s really starting to take a toll on me.”

“I’m sorry, that sounds like it must be very difficult.” he responded, shifting a bit in his position to get more comfortable. “How do you feel it’s affecting you?” 

Oh, god, this was so awkward. What do you even say? Nothing is going to get better if you’re not honest with him, right? But what if you’re too honest? Telling him about hallucinations and all...would that land you in some sort of trouble? Oh, you were starting to regret coming here…

If you had to be honest, you might as well start somewhere. 

“...I’m scared to tell you.” you sighed out, feeling like it was taking all the energy out of you just to even say it. “I’m worried you’re going to think I’m crazy.”

“Crazy?” he repeated, lifting his eyebrows a bit as he heard it. Then, he followed it with a chuckle, and waved his hand dismissively at you. “Crazy...really? Trust me, I’ve been here for a long, long time. I’ve seen it all. I promise, no matter what you tell me, I’m not going to think you’re crazy.” 

“You promise?” you asked, trying to crack a smile. You didn’t want him to worry too much. Normally, you wouldn’t be so pushy with this, but...you really couldn’t have him thinking you were a maniac of some kind. You know what they do to people who are too honest...and you don’t want that happening to you. 

“I swear it.” He said, and extended his hand to you, pinky finger out. A pinky swear? You haven’t seen anyone do those since elementary school! But, it did help to alleviate some tension as you reached out back to him, agreeing to his pinky promise. 

And then, you told him. About all of it. About everything that’s been happening the past week or two. About the clown you met before the carnival, and the strange meeting you had with him that night, in where he mysteriously disappeared…about how you started seeing things at work, and at your house...how you couldn’t be sure if they were dreams or not. If they were, well, they certainly felt real enough to make you seek out help for them.

If there was one thing you didn’t tell him, though, it was about the bite. Your shoulder still itched from it every now and again, despite the marks no longer being there... It was just the one thing that felt...too unbelievable to share, even with a therapist. All the rest of it could just be excused as wild nightmares, but this...this was something that still had lasting physical effects, and you were worried how it would look if you insisted it were still there, still scratching at you…

“...So?” you asked, at the end of it. There was a bit of a pause, as he wasn’t sure if you were done talking or not. “Do you think I’m crazy?”

“What?” he laughed again, confused as to why you would even ask that. “No, no, of course I don’t think you’re crazy!” He moved his position again, now sitting on the couch with his feet on the floor, back hunched over and hands folded neatly together. “In fact, I think you’re right.”

“I’m right?”

“I think you are very lonely…” he seemed to cut himself off with his next sentence, as if to assure calling you lonely wasn’t an insult of any kind. “And being isolated for so long, it’s no surprise to me you’ve been seeing things like this. In fact, I’d go as far to say it’s something to be expected in someone of your position.”

“...Really?” you said, a wave of relief crashing upon you. Your head and shoulders suddenly felt a lot lighter, and it felt a lot easier to sit upright. You lifted your head up, feeling yourself begin to breathe a lot more easily since you came here. The relief was so immense, it almost made you wonder why you were so nervous to begin with.

“I think I have something that can help you, though.” he continued, reaching to one of the side tables and opening a drawer. He pulled out a pen and notepad, and began to scribble something down. After a second, he ripped the paper from the pad and handed it to you. You looked at it. It was a phone number.

“Who--”

“It’s mine.” he said, smiling. “My personal number. Your appointment is almost over for today, so I thought we could keep in touch this way. You’re lonely, right?”

You felt heat rise into your face. You couldn’t see yourself, but you’re sure you were positively red right now. He...he was joking, right? Was he serious?

“Is...is this allowed?” You asked, trying not to sputter your words or let your voice crack. “I thought I was supposed to keep a professional relationship with my--”

“Hey, I’m the doctor here, aren’t I?” he said, standing up off the couch and dusting himself off. “Trust me--I know what I’m doing.” He flashed you a wink, and then walked towards the door. “I have someone else to meet for lunch, soon, but call me tonight, okay? Then we can work towards this problem more.” And with one last smile, he was out.

Leaving you sitting there, a red-faced mess wondering what the hell just happened.

The rest of your day proceeded OK. Nothing bad happened. That is to say, nothing scary happened. No balloons, or weird music, or...clowns. Speaking of clowns, you never did hear back from the police after that night at work. You wondered if they had actually been doing anything since you told them...No, no, this was better, though, you thought. Probably better to leave you as uninvolved as possible. You already had enough going on in your life. 

And as all days do, your day eventually drew to a close. You got changed into your sleepwear, and tucked yourself into bed. Nightlight on. You made sure to buy one last time you were out. With how scary things have been lately, its warm glow brought you some comfort when it was time to sleep. 

But you couldn’t. Not right now, anyways.

You still had one last thing to do before you went to bed.

You pulled out your phone and tried not to let yourself be blinded by its bright, blue light. You went into your contacts, and clicked on the profile you had set up for him. 

“Robert Gray.”

Despite setting his contact name, you hadn’t sent him a message yet. There was something...wrong about this, wasn’t there? He was your therapist, after all. And even though he assured you it was alright, you felt like this...just wouldn’t work as a professional relationship.

Yet, something about it excited you. How could it not? He was your age, and he was handsome...and most of all, he wanted to be your friend. Maybe life saw how lonely you really were and decided to throw you a bone? Besides...what was the worst that could happen? If things really came to it, you could always get a different therapist, and keep Robert as your friend instead.

Gulping slightly, you sent him a message. It was quick, short, and to the point. Just a simple “Hello!” and asking if he might want to get lunch or something the next day you were both free. Simple! Just like friends do! You were about to set your phone down beside you and go to bed for real, but to your surprise, you got an almost immediate reply after.

“Hey, I was waiting to hear from you!” His text read. He typed in a very structured, grammatically correct way. No emoticons or shorthands or anything of the sort. It was perfectly friendly, and yet, you couldn’t help but feel intimidated by him once again. It wasn’t a scary intimidation, just...one that made you feel he was someone way beyond your league, even in friendly terms. 

“I’ll be available whenever you are. I can make the time for it, so don’t worry. Just tell me whenever is good for you. I’ll be ready. -Robert.”

You found his little signature oddly charming. Something you seldom saw people use in texts before. You responded by telling him you’d have to check your calendar again, but you’ll definitely make plans to see him when you were off. Maybe you guys could go out to lunch, or even just a walk? It seemed like it could be a nice way of getting to know him better.

He happily agreed, and after, you wished him a good night, and went to try and sleep finally. 

Everything seemed to be looking up for you! Nothing scary yet, a new friend, this was going well!...The only problem was that terrible itching feeling in your shoulder. It was flaring up once again, and you couldn’t understand why. It was frustrating how difficult it made it to sleep. You reminded yourself to try and pick up some sort of lotion or something tomorrow. To take care of that awful itch, somehow, at least for the meantime.

You were sure you’d find the cause of it eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again!! Sorry if this chapter is a little boring,, /)w(\ But i hope you all know who Robert Gray is! And if you don't, I imagine you have a pretty good idea from reading this end note...If you still don't know, I'll just say he's DEFINITELY who you came here to see! I guess I kinda imagined him to look a bit like Bill Skarsgard in this fic but not exactly if that makes sense? Just similar enough! 
> 
> I don't want to involve Robert Gray too much because we all know who's form we're really here for, but I think he can be interesting for a little bit! Will include him in the next chapter for sure, but don't worry, all the good clown stuff will be back soon, and I hope I can keep updating regularly! Thank you so much for all the support, it means the world to me you all like this fic and I hope I can keep delivering an interesting story for you all! 
> 
> Semi-related note, I got one of those tiny Pennywise plushes last weekend and they are SO SOFT!! ;A; I love hugging him he is so soft and cute and a must-need for any Pennywise fans like me!


	6. The 'Date'

How nice were you supposed to dress?  
That’s the question that played on loop in your head as you eyed yourself in the mirror. You didn’t want to dress TOO too nice..but you didn’t want to look super casual either. Not that there was anything wrong with casual, but you felt like dressing up for the occasion. You couldn’t remember the last time you were out with a friend. 

Jacket on? Jacket off? Tied around your waist? Should you wear a hat? But what kind? A baseball cap? A sun hat? Did you even own a sun hat? Maybe some sunglasses? Sunglasses on, or resting on top of your head? Maybe leave them hanging off the front of your top? Maybe a necklace instead? Or a bracelet? Did your shoes really match the rest of your outfit? Maybe you should change them again…

You don’t know what you were worrying so much about when it came to your appearance. You usually just wore whatever you liked, and yet nothing seemed to work today. Why was that? It was a nice summer day, and you were meeting with a friend, you should be enjoying it! You were sure he wouldn’t care this much about what you looked like. Besides, it was just a casual hang-out, it’s not like this was a date or anything...right?

You left the house after double-checking you had everything you needed(and finally deciding on what to wear, of course). Phone, keys, wallet...you were set! All you needed to do now was get there. You pulled out your phone and read back the directions Robert had sent to you earlier. He had suggested meeting you at a small diner of some sort, but you had never been, so you wanted to make sure you wouldn’t get lost on the way there. It was fairly close to you, which made it all the more surprising that you’d never heard of it before. Maybe it was new? Either way, it was a nice enough day to walk there, so that’s precisely what you did. 

The sound of birds singing as you walked down the warm sidewalk, a light breeze racing past your face...it made you feel reminiscent of that day at the park. Back when this all started. Although it’s been quite a hectic ride since then, you felt...calm right now. It’d been a bumpy road, sure, but it finally felt like it was starting to smooth itself out. So maybe you had to face a few terrifying nightmares and visions to get here...but at long last, you were finally making your first friend in Derry. And you were excited for it! So much so that you couldn’t hide your smile with each step that drew you nearer to your destination. 

“Cute place…” you mumbled to yourself as you finally approached. It was a small little eatery, but in a quaint, nice way. It was tucked in between some other buildings, but was easily identifiable by the outdoor seating area in the front, already with some people sitting down for lunch. You approached the front window and cupped your face around it, wanting to take a quick peek at the inside without awkwardly going in and coming out again to wait for Rob. It seemed a bit tight, but you were sure it’d be cozy once you were inside. Even if it wasn’t new, it certainly looked like it! It had accents of nice, orange-toned wood and freshly cleaned floors, along with lots of pictures adorning the walls. Some pictures seemed to be historical, black-and-white photos from the old days of Derry, whereas others seemed...almost random. Flower paintings in different art styles, windmill photos each with a different angle...a flute player with an oddly shaped head? Seemed like someone was storing some kind of art collection here! It was random, but also a bit charming, in its own unique way. Made you feel like you were at some grandfather’s dream restaurant he finally got to open after years of wanting to.

You backed up from the window, not wanting to pry too long. Might look weird if you did. Besides, you had to keep a look-out for--  
“BOO!”

Your shoulders jumped in surprise, and you quickly whipped around to be greeted by the face of none other than the man himself. 

“Did I scare you?” he laughed, green eyes radiating with expression. He seemed to be dressed similarly to when you had first met him, comfortable and disarming. A sweater and some slacks, despite the clear presence of the summer heat. You wondered if he always dressed like this, or if he just got out of work.

“Heh, yeah, a little!” You smiled back towards him, too excited to be mad about a small little prank like that. 

After the standard “Hi, how are you?’s” were out of the way, you walked in with him to check out the menu and get a table. A place like this seemed like the kind of place where you would just order food and bring it to a table of your choosing, but they seemed to have some sort of waiter system in place. It seemed a bit cumbersome to them more than you, if anything, but you weren’t going to question it. You did request an outdoor seat, though. Both you and Robert agreed the weather was just too nice to stay cooped inside again. 

And your table outside was nice! The weather was warm, but not overbearingly hot, and the breeze that passed every so often was pleasant on your skin. You and Robert made some idle chit-chat before looking down at your menus. It was so...easy to talk to him. Maybe that’s because you had already opened up to him about your mental state earlier, but you felt so close to him already despite not even having known him that long. Like he was an old friend you were simply catching up with, rather than one you just made a few days ago. Eventually, you picked up your menu to finally decide what you’d order, and it occured to you that you actually had no idea what you wanted. You scanned the items...they seemed to offer quite a variety, so it’s not like you were too limited in choices. But in a way, that just made it harder for you to decide...But Robert had been here before, right? You put down your menu to ask what he might recommend, only to see that he wasn’t looking at his menu at all anymore. Robert sat looking off to his side, hunched over the table and resting his head on one of his hands as he stared. Naturally, you turned your head to see what had distracted him. 

Just over one empty table from you, a family sat. A mother, a father, and a small son and daughter. The children seemed no older than 4 and 6 respectively, although their parents ages did not seem to reflect that of their children. They appeared older, a bit more wrinkled, but not terribly so. Perhaps they weren’t parents at all, but an aunt and uncle, or grandparents? Either way, the older woman was using a napkin to wipe ketchup stains off the young boys face, and the older man was trying to settle down the little girl. She was wearing a pair of purple sparkly fairy wings, and seemed more interested in playing pretend than sitting down to eat. She made a bit of a ruckus, but not one that’d make you turn your head...

You turned back to Robert, whose gaze was still locked on them. You couldn’t exactly read the look on his face, but it was as if he had completely spaced out just staring at them.

“Do you know them?” You asked, trying to get his attention.

He blinked, and turned to face you again, smile returning to his face and light returning to his eyes.

“No, no!” he chuckled, using a hand to wipe at his mouth, even though there was nothing there. “Just hungry, that’s all. I haven’t had anything to eat all day, actually...I know, I know, that’s really bad. I guess I just got a little caught up from smelling their stuff, is all…”

You nodded understandingly, but told him he should’ve found the time to eat something today! Not like you had much room to criticize him, though. You didn’t exactly have the best eating schedule either, especially with work and all. But if one of the two of you should’ve been looking out for their own well-being, you definitely felt it should’ve been him.

Eventually, you two decided what you wanted, and it was brought out quickly, too. You thought that lucky for Robert, but despite claiming to be very hungry, Robert didn’t seem to enjoy his meal as much as you did. He talked to you and cracked jokes and smiled a lot, and you had a wonderful conversation, but you couldn’t help but notice he ate slowly, and left a lot of his food untouched when you were done. Maybe he just tried something new and didn’t like it? You felt a bit bad, but he seemed fine with it, so…

You split the check once it arrived. It was only fair, after all. Once all that was taken care of, you got up from where you sat, stretching and walking away from the table and diner, and out onto the sidewalk, Robert right beside you.

“You don’t have to go back to work or anything, do you?” You asked, stretching your arms over your head, and hearing the cracks of a few joints as you did so.

“Of course not!” He happily responded, matching your walking pace quite well. “I told you I’d be available whenever you were, so we can do whatever you want the rest of the day. I have plenty of time to kill.”

Well, alright, then! Sounded pleasant enough to you. You were wondering if he took the day off just to spend time with you. You’d be flattered if he did, but that also put a bit of pressure on you to make sure he didn’t feel like he wasted a day just to hang out with you. You were having a bit of difficulty thinking of things you could do, but for now, you didn’t mind just taking a stroll through town with him. It was a nice day, and now you had some nice company. You just hoped he enjoyed it as much as you did.

You had mindlessly been walking, but as you did so, you realized where your legs had started to take you, and internally groaned at the sight of it. Perhaps you were too used to your usual routine, you thought, as your eyes squinted in distaste at the sight of your workplace across the street. You can’t believe your subconscious betrayed you by bringing you back here on your day off!

“Let’s go another way.” You grumbled, pausing your walk. Robert stopped about as abruptly as you did, and turned himself to look at whatever it was you were facing.

“Why?”

“That’s my work over there.” You lazily gestured, still not finding the energy just yet to turn around and start walking a different way. “And I really don’t want to spend my day off back there.”

“I see.” he said with a playful smirk. “I understand…”

Robert stepped around you to get a better look, and tucked his hands behind himself.

“That’s where you work? I’ll have to remember to stop by here and visit you more often, then.”

You returned his smirk, and let out an exhale, saying “Aha. That won’t be necessary, but thank you.”

“You know…” he continued, reaching a hand up to scratch at his chin. He looked pensive. “I think...I think I’ve seen you here once before.” he turned to face you again. “Don’t feel bad if don’t recognize me, though. I looked a bit different then.”

“Heh, I doubt it.” you shifted your posture, crossing your arms as you spoke. “I think it’d be hard to forget a face like yours.”

“And why’s that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, his grin growing wider.

You felt a familiar rush return to your cheeks as you said “...No reason.” and finally began to walk off again the way you came.

It was nice to walk around Derry. You were beginning to feel like you should do so more often. And now that you had a friend, it kept your eye open for any places offering new activities you could do together. Maybe bowling, maybe the movies, who knows? All of it was open to you now! Not like it wasn’t before, but now you didn’t have to do it alone, and that just made you feel so much better about it all.

You walked past a few stores with him, commenting on the things you saw in the windows as you strolled. You commented on a movie poster, and how maybe you’d wanna see it when it came out. He nodded along. Maybe he would be willing to see it with you? You remarked about a mannequin in a clothing store window, and how silly she looked with half her shirt falling down and missing an arm entirely. Robert playfully nudged you and told you that you should ‘give her a hand!’ to which you rolled your eyes and nudged him back. Eventually, you came across a pet store, and you stopped to look in the window of that, too. In the front, they had a few tanks and terrariums displayed. Perhaps they were trying to give some of their reptiles more natural light to bask in. Squatting down, you noticed a small turtle in one of the tanks at the bottom. He was the only one who seemed to have the entire tank to himself, ever other animal had a little buddy with them.

“Aww, poor guy…” you said “He’s all alone down here.”

You looked up to Robert, seeking his input, and blinked as you saw a disgusted look on his face. You giggled a bit upon seeing it.  
“What’s that face for?” you asked him, standing back up again.

“Ah...Not a fan of turtles, that’s all.”

“Really?” You raised an eyebrow, smile present as you stood up from your squatting position. “That’s pretty funny. Y’know, the other day, I was considering maybe getting one as a pet. I think they’re kinda cute.”

“Oh, no, no.” He shook his head, grimacing. “They’re stupid old things, you wouldn’t want one.”

“Why do you say that?” You couldn’t help but find amusement in his disgust. Robert had always seemed so calm and collected, and yet a simple turtle seemed to be getting on his nerves just from looking at it. It was just a turtle! It made you laugh. You always wondered how people developed their own little hatreds of the simplest, inoffensive things!

“Nothing wrong with turtles…” He cleared his throat before continuing, “I just have my own personal gripes with them, that’s all.”

Lightly, he reached towards you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. You felt your heart thump at the action, surprised with how forward he was being. You were confused as to what his intention was with that, before you realized it was so that he could turn you around, and walk you further down the street away from the pet store and the little turtle inside. You laughed to yourself over how silly the whole situation was.

Eventually, your little walk landed you in the park. All the carnival decorations had since disappeared, but Paul Bunyan was there to greet you just as he always was. A silly reminder that some things never change. You comedically gave him a small wave. Seeing you do that, Robert did the same, and the two of you shared a laugh over it. It truly did feel like he was just an old friend somehow...

“You know, it’s a shame I didn’t know you before the carnival happened.” you said out loud, but mostly to yourself. You shifted your view to gaze over at the now empty stage. You held one hand over your eyes to shade you from the sun as you eyed it. People sat around it, sure, but it wasn’t being used for anything anymore since the carnival was over. Probably wouldn’t be used again until the winter, where they’d decorate it with strands of holly and jingle bells as you’ve seen them do. “We could’ve gone together, it could’ve been fun.”

“We were supposed to.” he responded, bluntly, and without following it up with anything more.

Confused, you turned to face him. “What’d you say?”

“I know we’re not in a session right now, but...may I ask you something?” he folded his hands together neatly. You felt your shoulder begin to itch.

“Are you afraid of clowns?” he asked. His face was centered looking at the stage just as you had been, but his eyes were glancing down to you at his side.

“I...No, no I’m not.” you answered, feeling your body tense. You didn’t know where this was going. “I mean, I’m not afraid of clowns, even if I...have been imagining them a lot lately, I don’t think I’m scared of clowns themselves.”

“Ah, alright…” he sighed, eyes returning to the stage.

“...Why do you ask?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, really…” he said, a grin beginning to spread across his face. “I was just worried it was the reason you didn’t come to see…” he lifted a hand to squeeze his own nose, and said in a familiar, goofy voice, “...Pennywise, the dancing clown!”

And in that moment, it hit you. The structure of his face just seemed to fall perfectly into place remembering the same clown you had met that first day at the park. Those full lips, that height, that goofy voice he just used...he...he really WAS Pennywise! He was the guy you met that day! You gave him a firm but light slug in the shoulder, to which he laughed “Ow, don’t hit me so hard!”

“ASSHOLE!” you light-heartedly said, taking another look at his face and wondering how you didn’t see it before. Everything about it was so obvious to you now. You couldn’t unsee it, even if you tried. “So you recognized me this whole time? Why didn’t you tell me earlier, you ass?” you couldn’t help but laugh now that you could see it so perfectly.

“I didn’t want to freak you out!” he smiled back at you, rubbing his arm a bit where you hit him. “But you seemed to be feeling okay now, so…..”

“So...wait, then…” you continued, calming back down and gathering some of your thoughts together. Thinking about the strange nightmare with the clown in your house. Thinking about the one at the store...those might’ve been dreams but… then you started thinking about the one that bit your shoulder. The one that bit your shoulder...that was at the carnival. That was the very same day you met him.“What about that night, then? The night of the carnival?”

“I never saw you.” he explained. “I had been waiting for you, but the only time I saw you that day was at the park that afternoon. I thought it was...weird that you encountered a clown that looked like me, though. When you told me during our last session. I was on the fairgrounds the whole time, I never once went out back. I haven’t put on the costume since.”

“I see…” you said feeling your heart begin to sink...What was that whole experience you had that night, then? Did you really just make that whole thing up? The crying? The hug? The bite? ...All of it? Were you really that crazy?

Not wanting to think about it, you shook your head loose of the thoughts and tried to keep the mood light.

“Wait, wait, wait, so...you’re a therapist...” you laughed before even finishing your statement. A few times, actually. You had to keep redoing it until you could get the full question out without giggling. “...who doubles as a part-time clown?”

“What can I say?” he replied, joining you in your happy mood and laughing along with you “It’s how I feel most comfortable!”

After that was all good and settled, the two of you had a lovely time in the park and walked for a bit longer. Before you knew it, the sun was already beginning to set. And in summer, too? You must’ve been out longer than you even thought! Robert offered to walk you back to your house, and you graciously accepted, enjoying your time with him too much to have it end so quickly. You didn’t know when you’d both be free next, after all.

But even with your slowest walking pace, you made it back to your house eventually, and quicker than you wanted to. The sky was evenly golden, and the setting sun cast long shadows all the way down the street. It was very pretty, and even just seeing it made you feel like it really was time to finally wind-down, despite wanting to savor today as long as possible. 

You stood on the sidewalk in front of your home, taking a deep breath.

“Well, here she is…” you sighed. You would’ve invited Robert in, but...that might be weird. It’s only your second(or technically third) time meeting him, and the first time you really hung out together. You didn’t want to seem too pushy or too attached, even though you were worried you had gotten too attached already. It was hard not to get attached to someone as pleasant and kind as he was, especially when you’d been alone for so long.

“Thank you for spending today with me.” he said, that gorgeous smile still finding its way to his face whenever he spoke. You felt like each smile was prettier than the last, and every word that left it seemed to carry that same sense of pleasantness. “I had a wonderful time! We really click, you and I.”

“Thanks!” you returned, unable to help yourself from smiling as well. “I feel that way, too, so I’m happy to hear that you think that, ha…”. You paused a bit awkwardly. He didn’t say anything in return yet, so you tried to fill the empty space. “And I’m starting to feel a lot better already. Y’know, just from hanging out with you and all. We should do this again soon!”

“Oh, absolutely!” he promised, by holding his hand out to you and commencing another pinky swear. Was this a little quirk of his? It was cute though, so you weren’t complaining.

The two of you said your goodbyes and you began to walk to your front step, when you felt a tug on your arm by his hand. For a second, the strength of his grip brought you back to when you first really met him, and he tied that balloon to your wrist. It felt the same.

“Oh, wait! You forgot something.” he said.

You turned around to see what you might’ve dropped, only to be met with Robert’s face pressed against your cheek. He had kissed you, and all the summer heat in the world could not compare to heat in your face right now. It lasted only a brief moment, and yet it felt as though it could’ve lasted forever.

After, he let you go. Without another word, he winked, and walked his way back down the street from where the two of you had come from. After he was around the corner and out of sight, you rushed inside and nearly slammed the door from how fast you were going. But not any faster than your racing heart, that was for sure.

You held your hand up to the cheek he kissed, lightly tracing it with your fingers, as the feeling was still there, and you didn’t want it to leave just yet. All of this seemed to be happening so quickly...and yet, it was exciting in that regard. You suddenly went from having no friends at all to now having a potential boyfriend!...Were you ready for that? 

You hoped so.

You went to bed that night with butterflies in your stomach and phone by your side, hoping to call him again soon, and thankful that nothing weird had happened the whole day.

...

Well, no.

There was one thing.

As you were getting ready for bed, washing up in the bathroom, you noticed it. Looking in the mirror, you saw the kiss Robert had planted on you left quite the stain, clear as day on your cheek. It was bright, and red...It looked like the kind of lipstick marks one sees in movies. But that didn’t make any sense! Surely you’d notice if Robert was wearing makeup, especially a color as bright as this.

You eventually settled on the explanation that it was just your skin having an allergic reaction or something to some sort of chapstick he was wearing, and that’s why it looked so red. It didn’t wash off easily, after all. But, still…

No, that was...definitely the reason.

You weren’t seeing things again!

You weren’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I guess Thursdays are going to be my weekly uploading days, probably? It seems like it so far! Don't get worried if I update a day or two late, or a day or so earlier, though! I just try to work on this fic when I can, and I always want to be able to reread it before I publish a new chapter!
> 
> This chapters a bit dorky, though, I think! I kept shoving little references in insinuations in places, I just couldn't help myself! I hope you're all ok with Robert Gray for right now! Don't worry, though. I promise Pennywise's clown form will be back next chapter and I'm excited to bring him back! I'm hoping I can create an interesting story for you all!
> 
> Thank you all so much once again for the support! I struggle with talking to others, so I usually don't respond to comments because I'm nervous;; But you all are always so nice to me, and I promise seeing the nice words in your comments sends me over the moon and makes me want to write the best story I can for you guys! I often come back and reread them over and over because seeing them makes me so so happy! Thank you all for being so nice to me, I promise it doesn't go unappreciated.<3 Hope you all have had a great week so far, and I hope to work on this story more for you all!


	7. The Abandoned House

Was Gray your boyfriend?

That’s what you had begun calling him.

Gray, that is! You started calling him Gray, you didn’t start calling him your boyfriend. Not yet, anyways...

It was a cute nickname! Well, at least to you, it was. He seemed to enjoy it too, so…

Not that there was anything wrong with calling him Robert. Or Bob. Or Bobby, as he sometimes joked. And ever since you learned he was the clown you met, you even called him ‘Pennywise’ from time to time as a joke. He seemed to get a kick out of it. But ‘Gray’ just had such a nice air about it. Elegant, mysterious and suave...Made him seem like some sort of book or movie protagonist. It just slipped out when you had called him on the phone one day, but it just seemed to stick after that…

And calling him on the phone was something you did often. Almost every day now, actually. It was comfortable, and helped you feel less alone on the days you really felt lonely. Even just hearing his voice was enough to make you feel so, so much better. The sound of a ringing phone followed by his gentle “Hello?” each time was like music to your ears.

You weren’t always available when he called you. But, whenever you called him, he was ready at the answer, it seemed. It made you wonder if he would put work on hold just to talk to you...Part of that idea flattered you, but another part of it worried you that he would just drop his patients for a moment to talk to you. You don’t know what you’d do if you were feeling emotional in a therapist's office only to have them leave the room for a phone call. Only once or twice he wasn’t able to pick up the phone when you called, but both times he had called you back almost immediately, so you never had to worry about your messages going to voicemail.

Phone conversations between you were never short. But you didn’t mind in the slightest. If you couldn’t always see him, at least you could rely on the fact that you could hear him. It was simple conversation, he’d ask you about your day, you’d ask him in return… You’d talk about interesting customers you had recently, or about the plot twist to your favorite show that you had been DYING to tell someone about, but never had anyone around to listen. But now you did, and he reacted with enthusiasm, and it made you feel so, so happy. 

There was one phone call in particular that had sent your heart aflutter though. It was late one night, and you had lost track of the time watching TV. And wouldn’t you know it, you had watched a horror movie. You caught it on the television when it was still light outside, but by the time it was over, your house had become drenched in the shadows of night. 

Now, you’re normally not too bothered by horror movies. In fact, the one that you had watched that night wasn’t even that scary to you. Not terrible, but not really scary either. Despite this, it didn’t keep you from feeling unnerved in the darkness of your own house. You couldn’t help yourself from feeling like there was a presence, lurking there in the cover of the shadows...Ready to pounce on you the second you made a wrong turn. You were scared to move from your spot on the couch, sitting upright and gripping the cushions, as if they would somehow protect you if there were a monster of any kind.

And even if rationally, you knew there was nothing wrong, that you could just walk upstairs and go to bed and nothing bad would happen, you still couldn’t shake the fear from you. Besides, you knew your brain had proven itself to not always be...reliable. What if all this fear conjured up another monster in your frenzied imagination? You weren’t sure if you could trust your mind to keep everything calm for the 40 seconds it’d take you to get up to your bedroom. 

You turned to your phone. It was...very late, and you didn’t want to bother him. You shouldn’t have bothered him, it could’ve woken him up. But at the time, all you could think of was the calming sound of his voice, his familiar “Hello?”, and knowing that if you could hear it right now, you’d feel fine enough to just walk upstairs and get to bed.

So, you did so.

Ring...ring…

And you almost hung up, feeling yourself silly and irrational for bothering him at such an hour just because you felt like a scared little kid. But he answered, with the same welcoming “Hello?” as he had always done. A smile found its way across your face the minute you heard it.

“You’re scared?” he questioned, after you had explained your reasoning for calling him so late. You felt embarrassed upon hearing his giggle on the other end, but other than that, he didn’t tease you about it. “It’s alright. I can tell you a story to help, if you’d like.”

“What kind of story?”

“A funny one. Well, I find it funny at least, but maybe you will too?”

It was worth a shot. Clutching your phone, you asked him to begin his story, as you slowly got up from your couch, floor creaking under the sudden weight of your feet. You took slow, careful steps, not wanting to rush upstairs and break your neck from tripping over yourself in the dark. You kept your head tilted low, only wanting to see the floorboards and your own two feet until you could successfully get to your bedroom. You kept your focus on what was below you, and on Gray’s relaxing voice as he spoke. He almost sounded like an audiobook or something of the sort, with how clearly he was able to get his words out, and how he didn’t stutter or fumble his words in the slightest. It made you wonder if he had been reading from an actual book that night. 

"...But the boy in his little yellow raincoat should've watched where he was going." he said, as you creeped lightly up each step of the stairwell, free hand gently perched atop the railing to guide you. “For when he attempted to follow his little paper boat as it glided along the rain water, he ran right into a little wooden roadblock, and slipped onto the pavement below." 

"This is supposed to be a funny story?" You smiled, though it's not as if he could see it. 

"You don't think it's funny so far?" he replied. You couldn't see it either, but you were sure he had been smiling too. "I think that part's hilarious!" 

You let out a laugh as you rolled your eyes, finally having reached your room in safety, and shuffling into bed.

"Well, it doesn't matter now. I just got to my bed, so…" 

"So...you don't need me anymore?" you heard him question. 

Your words escaped you quickly as you blurted out "Well, unless you want to finish telling your story! I can't guarantee I'll stay awake for all of it, though."

"That's okay." he assured. "I don't mind giving you a bedtime story. Maybe it’ll help you sleep."

And so, he continued his story. And you listened best you could, phone placed precariously beside you in your bed, as you tucked yourself beneath your blankets, allowing yourself to drift off to the soothingness of his voice. You became clouded in darkness, his voice fading from your ears as you fell into a calm, tranquil sleep. 

And today, you were clouded in darkness again, but this time of your own design. Or, rather, Gray's. It was your hands that shielded your own eyes, but Gray was the one who insisted you shut your eyes to begin with. You were finally able to spend a day together in person again, and he wanted to take you somewhere, and he wanted it to be a surprise. Luckily, you didn't have to worry about tripping over yourself, as Gray was right beside you, gripping onto your shoulders to make sure you were being steered in the right direction. 

"Are we there yet? I feel like we've been walking forever." You said, making sure he knew you were playful about it. It was exciting by all means! You hadn’t had a nice surprise in forever...

“We’re almost there, just a bit longer!” Gray responded, and you could hear the excitement in his voice. In turn, that just made you all the more excited.

“Aaaaand...here! Alright, you can open your eyes now!” he removed his hands from your shoulders, after flipping you around one last time so that you were facing the proper direction.

Taking a deep breath, you finally removed your hands from your eyes. It took a minute for your sight to adjust to all the sudden light, but when you did, you were...quite surprised indeed. Gray had brought you to the Neibolt house.

The Neibolt house...even someone like you, who hardly got out of your own house, knew what it was. You often heard the kids who came in to your store mumbling about it with their buddies. It was an especially popular topic around Halloween, when children would dare their friends or little siblings to go spend the night in it and potentially look for ghosts. It had been abandoned for who knows how long now, and the outside clearly reflected that. Overgrown grass that reached as high as your waist, and toppled fences that wouldn’t be stopping anyone from getting onto the property anymore. Its walls and roofs were covered in a thick, black grime. It was so dark and heavy, your brain couldn’t even process what color the house was originally meant to be. It stared back at you with gray windows, covered in so many fine layers of dust you’d never be able to see inside even if you pressed your face to the glass. Part of you wondered how such a run-down house was able to keep itself standing after all these years, or better yet, why no one had ever renovated it, or even just tore it down? It looked like something straight out of a horror movie. People called it the old ‘Haunted house on Neibolt street’...which was then simply shortened to be the ‘Neibolt house’.

Trying to hide the less-than-enthusiastic look on your face, you turned to Gray, who was standing beside you. He was staring down the house, hands planted firmly on his hips, and his eyes gleaming with pride. A smile was spread wide across his face.

Trying not to offend, you carefully asked him, “...Why did you bring me here?”

“What? Don’t you like it?” he turned to you, smile still on his face as he joked. He took a few steps closer to the house, and then turned back to you, spreading his arms wide as if to showcase the property to you. “My friends and I used to explore this place all the time when we were younger! I thought it might be fun to revisit it with you.”

Cautiously, you took a few steps closer to the house, following him. You walked past what would have been the front gate, had it not been ripped off its hinges and tossed into the grass on the side. Getting closer, you noticed how many other things had been left in the grass. An old, rusted, metal bike had been tossed down on its side and clearly never picked up again. A dingy kickball was here too, plastered in dirt and dried mud. It made you wonder if some kids accidentally kicked it inside the fence and were too scared to fetch it out.

You were never much for urban exploring. At least, you had never considered it before. It was dirty, and it was trespassing, and it was dangerous more often than not. And you never took Gray to be the kind of person who’d be into it either. But when you looked at him, seeing the eagerness in his face...his eyes alight with excitement at the act of bringing you here...how could you turn him down? Besides, Gray had done so much for you ever since you met him. This was the least you could do for him.

“Well, if you say it’s fun, then I’ll hold you to that!” you laughed, following him up the creaky front stairs. They sounded like they might’ve collapsed under your weight. 

The elation never faded from his face as he opened the front door to you, the hinges creaking just as much as the stairs. It almost surprised you that no one ever locked this place up, or at the very least, put tape over the door to prevent intruders. Even just for, you know, safety hazard reasons?

But as you crossed the threshold into the house, Gray closing the door behind the both of you, everything in the atmosphere seemed to...change.

The house now held a dream-like quality to it, once fully inside. Light filtered itself in through the dirty windows, creating a warm, yellow glow throughout the house. Dust particles floated through the air like tiny fireflies, reflecting the light, twinkling as they floated through the air in front of you. You felt like you could sneeze from how dusty it was in here, but that didn’t make the interior of the house appear any less dreamy. It certainly had its own unique charm to it. Not quite a haunted house...just an abandoned one.

Gray took a few steps in front of you as you stood, taking it all in. The floor continued to creak and whine under every step, but did appear more stable than the stairs out front.

“Aaaah...Feels just like home!” he beamed, taking a big breath in as if it was fresh air. You felt like you’d gag on dust if you did the same. “We should come here more often.”

“Yeah? And do what?” you teased, walking to stand alongside him, beginning to make a mental map of the layout of the house. “It seems...pretty cool in here, but I don’t think there’s much we can do other than look around.”

“Well, we can do what my friends and I used to do.” He swirled to face you, leaning down some to be at a better level with your face. Switching to his cartoonish Pennywise voice, he said “Let’s play a game!”

“A game?”

“A game!” He repeated, normal voice returning to him. “We’ll look around the house, and whoever finds the most interesting object is the winner. That’s what my friends and I would do, when we were bored.”

“Well, that’s not fair then, is it?” you started. “You’ve been in this place dozens of times, you probably already know where all the cool stuff is.”

“I’ve found something new every time I’ve visited, so it should be a fair enough game, I think.” He promised. You found it so hard to disagree with that smile...

“Hm…Alright, then. Do I get anything if I win?” you responded, already brainstorming ideas of where the most ‘interesting’ things in a house would be. You still doubted you would win, but it’s hard to resist a good challenge.

Gray just winked at you. It seemed to be a habit of his, but one you found cute nonetheless. You shook hands as you begun the game, and then went off into different corners of the house to look for whatever strange artifact you could find.

You decided your best bet would be to check the kitchen first. In your experience, people always seemed to have weird things in their kitchens. Silly little statues of roosters or pigs, or ceramic dishes with the craziest art on them. It wasn’t all that difficult to find where the kitchen and dining area was, and you cracked your knuckles as you prepared to check all the little nooks and crannies. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust and cobwebs, but that was ok with you. As long as you didn’t run into any spiders or rats, you’d be fine. Besides, a little dirt never hurt anyone.

You started rummaging through one of the drawers in the kitchen, hoping to find...something. You don’t know what, just...something interesting. The drawer you opened was filled with wooden spoons and other helpful utensils, like salad prongs or spatulas. You picked up one of the wooden spoons in your hands, as you noticed it had an engraving in the handle. Holding it up to your face, you read the small cursive letters that read “Home sweet home”.

And after reading that, you felt something in your thoughts begin to...shift. The entire mood of the atmosphere changed. Still clutching the spoon, you looked up and around you. The kitchen...It was full of cracked, grimy tiles and old rotting cabinets. The sink was rusted beyond repair, and a tiny, green vine with tiny, green leaves grew from its drain. It was illuminated by a small window to the outside, with a torn, floral curtain dangling from a pole atop it. The tops of some of the counters were ripped off, exposing a ruggedy, rocky, dirty texture underneath, and the handles of some of the cabinet doors were missing, seeming like it would make them difficult to open, and probably holding old pots and dishes that’ll never be used again.

This...this was someone’s home, once. 

You couldn’t help but to imagine it. Your mind created visions about what it must’ve been like here, before everything was ruined. You could picture it perfectly. So perfectly that you could see it.

A mother, preparing vegetables for dinner over freshly cleaned cabinets. The smell of turkey or chicken or whatever she made wafting through the rest of the house, as her children run inside while the sun sets behind them. They had been playing outside all day. They had such a big yard to play in, after all. The father comes home, shrugging off his coat and lifting his children into his arms as he hugs them. He kisses his wife as he steps into the dining room, where she’s setting up everyone’s places and reminding them to wash their hands before they eat. A happy family.

Still clutching the spoon, you absentmindedly wander through the house, your brain forgetting all about the game you were supposed to be playing, and instead creating its own little story about the home. 

Eventually, it led you into the living room. There was an old, dark fireplace. It seemed like it had been through plenty of use. Worn curtains hung from their poles, fluttering ever so lightly in the wind that passed through cracks and holes in the windows. The sound of creaking could be heard above you, and it might’ve worried you had you not known Gray was just upstairs, continuing the game you had subconsciously given up on. 

You took a seat on an old couch. It was stiff, and the texture was itchy and rough, and you were certain that a bunch of dust would stick to your clothes from doing so, but it didn’t seem to matter that much as your mind continued to wander.

The family would sit here, you thought. On cold wintery days, when the snow piled itself up and up...They’d be sitting here, by the fireplace. They would be celebrating a holiday. It didn’t matter which one, just that they were together. The mother would be drinking coffee, maybe snuggled into a nice blanket, as her husband would toss another log into the fire, to make sure it kept burning for another hour or so. The children would sit on the floor, playing with puzzles or dolls or little toy cars that their mother warned them would scratch up their nice wood floors if they weren’t careful. Maybe their grandparents were staying with them. After all, they had such a big house, and plenty of room. They probably invited people over all the time. This house probably held so many people, and hosted so many happy events.

And now it was just...empty. Abandoned. People left and no one ever came back. People today were scared of this house. This house that was probably once so happy. Perhaps you could understand its fear factor better at night, when dark shadows and overactive imaginations took hold of its shape. But not now. Not during the day. The house wasn’t scary in this state. Just lonely, and sad.

“Did you find something?”

You blinked. You had been so lost in your own little trance you didn’t even notice Gray had come and stood in front of you. You looked up at him, and then back down at the spoon in your hands. 

‘Home sweet home.’

You clutched it tighter.

“...People lived here once.” you mumbled, but loud enough for him to hear it.

“I imagine they did at one point, yes.” he agreed. He didn’t sit next to you. Perhaps he was a bit more concerned about getting dust all over his pants than you were.

“And now it’s all just left behind. Someone moved out and no one ever moved in after.” you looked up to face him. His face was gentle, and he was listening. You had no idea why this was becoming so emotional to you. It was just an old house, one that you never even stepped into before today. Why did it make you feel this way? 

“They left so much stuff here.” you continued. “So much stuff is here. How do you just...leave it all behind? How does a house become like this?...When does a house stop being a home?”

Gray cracked a concerned smile, eyebrows furrowing into an expression of worry. “You sound sad.” he said.

Maybe you were sad. 

Sensing this, Gray grabbed you by the wrists and lifted you up from the couch and towards him. You dropped the spoon onto the couch as he did so. He then wrapped his arms around you, swirling you around like a ballroom dance in the room in an attempt to lighten your spirits.

“Now, now, don’t start thinking like that!” he said. You stood in front of him once he stopped spinning you. His hands rested firmly at your sides. “I brought you here to have fun. Are you not having fun?”

“No, no, I am…” you said, mustering up a smile for him. Now getting a good look at him after the dizziness of spinning faded, he looked...angelic here. So much so that it captivated you. The warm light shining through the old dirty windows had laid itself softly across his face. It reflected in his eyes like a candle. Flickering, but always gentle. And even if it wasn’t there, Gray always had a sort of special light behind his eyes. You couldn’t describe it, other than that it was there, and that you could see it. And here you were, staring directly at him, so close to his face. It felt like looking into the sun, but without the pain of doing so.

“...I’m happy when I get to spend time with you.” You admitted, feeling your heart begin to catch itself in your throat when you did. “I’m glad I met you.”

“I’m glad I met you too.” He returned.

You’re not sure what prompted you to do it. Where the exhilaration came from, where the courage came from...but before you could even question that it was happening, you reached your hands up to cup them around Gray’s face, and you kissed him. Eyes shut tight, wanting nothing more than to feel the press of his lips, and his hands around you.

And in the middle of it, something about him changed. You couldn’t pin-point what, just that it had changed. His hands were still on your waist, his mouth was still pressed against yours, and yet, somehow, he changed. And you weren’t sure what about him had changed at all, until you had pulled away from him and opened your eyes...only to see his once green eyes were now a dangerous yellow, and his cozy sweater had been replaced by a dingy, old, familiar costume…

You fell back onto the floor as you gasped in shock, eyes traveling from the pom-poms of his shoes to the bright, fiery hair atop his tall forehead. He...he was the clown. He was Pennywise again.

Quickly, you began to rub your eyes. You were seeing things again, you had to be! There was no way he could’ve changed, or that you wouldn’t have noticed that he did! Just a few moments ago he looked the same as ever! Truly believing yourself to only be having another hallucination, you spoke as you rubbed your eyes.

“I’m sorry, I...I-I’m just seeing things again.” you blurted, not wanting to worry him any.

“Oh, not this time…” it responded, in the voice that brought you back to the day you first met him. That deep, twisted, cartoony voice...

You opened your eyes to him once again. Nothing had changed from when you closed them. The clown was still there. You scrambled to your feet, backing away from him and whatever the hell was happening.

“What...what is this?!” you yelled, feeling as though you were in a nightmare. But the now searing, itching pain that had risen into your shoulder reminded you this was all too real, despite how impossible it seemed. “What did you do with Gray?!”

“Didn’t I tell you?” the clown chuckled, shaking himself so that the small bells on his costume jingled as he did. You never knew a small little jingle bell could sound so threatening. “I told you I was Pennywise, the dan-cing clown! Don’t you remember? I had told you! I had told you, yes I did!”

Your mind felt like it was racing in time with your heart, confusion taking hold. But in the midst of it, you realized that he was right. 

He did tell you. 

When you and Gray went to the park, on your little date. He told you that he was the clown. He told you that he was Pennywise, the dancing clown.

And then, a thought occurred to you.

When he said that he was the clown...did he mean he was...always, the clown? 

The clown that gave you a balloon? The clown that bit your shoulder? The one that pressed his hands against your store window? The arms that dragged you out of your couch that night? 

He...he was always the clown? He was always...that clown...that monster, wasn’t he?

You couldn’t explain it, but despite how bizarre things had escalated you felt...this wasn’t just in your head.

...Was it ever?

“What...what are you?!” You screamed. You had been expecting to blurt that out from sobs, but you were too terrified to cry. Too terrified to do anything except think about how this...this thing, or whatever it was... could be possible, and how to escape.

But he didn’t answer you. Instead, he lifted his hands to his face, and he started to cry himself. Crying AT you. Mocking you. It sounded like the same kind of fake sobbing that lured you to him behind the tree that night. An awful, gut-wrenching sound. It sounded like torture. It rang in your ears, and it made your heart sink from your throat down into the pits of your stomach. Just the sound of his fake sobs made you want to puke. 

“You should have seen the look on your sad, stupid little f-a-A-A-a-ce…..” he whined, pretending to rub at his eyes in his imitation cries. “So happy to have finally made a friend after being allllll alone! …Little did you know...”

You felt your chest twinge in pain. All this time, he was just...just...You’d have been crying right now if you weren’t so afraid, you were sure of it. Your breaths were big and deep and shaky, trying to control your emotions. But you had no control here. You never did.

And then, he removed his hands from his face. And with a simple pump of his arms, sharp, talon-like claws erupted from the fingers of his gloves, ripping through the fabric like paper. They were dark, monstrous. They looked like the kind of hands that would belong to a werewolf in some old horror movie. But unlike the movies, these ones looked much too real... He took a single step towards you, shaking the entire floor when he did.

“...You were always alone!”

And before you could even attempt to run, he lunged himself towards you, just like the werewolf you described him as.

You felt the entire weight of his body press upon you, toppling you back down to the floor. He was giggling maniacally, all the while the only thing you could do was scream and flail. Neither of those helped you as his clawed hands gripped at you with strength unimaginable. You heard his stomach grumble loudly, sounding like thunder in a storm, and once again you felt like you could puke as you came to the realization that…

Oh, God…

He was going to eat you, wasn’t he?

He was straddling you against the hard floor, one hand pressed firmly against your chest to keep your top half in place. The other hand grabbed at your head like it was nothing more than an obstacle as he pushed it back and out of the way, giving him full access to your neck. As if he was a vampire, going straight for the kill.

Which, well...he was.

Finally, tears began to prick at you eyes as the life you could’ve had flashed before you. You started to think of all the things that could’ve prevented you from being where were you were now. What if you had told Gray you didn’t want to go to the Neibolt house? Would he have let you go? What if you had never arranged for a therapy appointment, and tried to deal with it yourself? What if you had decided to skip the carnival that night, or never took a walk in the park that day? What if you had never moved to Derry to begin with? Being here, now, you wished you hadn’t. But the past was the past, and you couldn’t change where you were now. It was too late. All you could do was pray that if he was going to eat you, he would show the least bit of mercy and do it quickly and painlessly.

With another chuckle from his devilish mouth, he leaned in to your neck, breath warm as he exhaled, hot air harsh upon your neck as you knew what to expect next. You closed your eyes for what you thought would be the last time.

But your expectations were proven false, as without warning, you heard the clown begin to...heave?

You felt the monster open his mouth once again, sharp pricks of teeth poking against your flesh, saliva drooling onto your skin...only to have him shake his head and heave again. And again.

You stayed on the floor, paralyzed in fear, but he began to crawl himself off of you, making retching noises as he did so. Every second or so, he would attempt to pounce himself back on you, only to end up retching again and stopping himself. His mind was clearly focused on wanting to eat you, but his body had disagreed as he began to slink away from you, heaving and retching and holding his nose as he did so. He seemed revolted by...something about you. 

Trembling, you attempted to stand up again once you felt he was far enough from you. You almost fell down on your way back up, but you managed to hold yourself on two legs again somehow. You looked to him, this time ready to run as soon as he even moved so much as an inch.

You nearly jumped when he began to speak again, not knowing how to predict him.

“Ohhhh, isn’t that saaaaaaad………” he whined, removing his hands from his nose and holding them out and at his sides again as he stood opposing you. He gave you an unnaturally long, toothy grin, with teeth that looked like claws themselves, ready to tear you apart as soon as he had the opportunity. He was trying to appear threatening. And, while he was, he was also unable to hide the disgust in his face. You could tell his body was aching to retch again, but he wouldn’t let you have that honor. He had something to say first, before he could let his body do anything of the sort.

“...You still smell like you’re in love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's back! Oooooh he's back! I missed this clown!! I hope I can write him well in these chapters onward! I feel he'll be a challenging but interesting character to write! I have some exciting ideas and I'm hoping I can make them all fit together while still feeling well-paced! 
> 
> I don't think I have much to say this time, but I hope you're all having an excellent October so far!! Thank you all so much for the lovely comments once again--you guys are the best, I'm so thankful!!!! :D <3 I hope the rest of your month goes swimmingly, and I'll have another chapter ready for you sometime next week!


	8. The Customer

Well, where do things go from here? 

In one corner of the room is you, standing on those trembling sticks you call legs, shaking like a tree branch in the wind. You have no weapon, or any escape plan.

In the other corner of the room is the clown--the monster--snarling and exposing its teeth like a territorial bear. He was blocking the way to the front door, and it seemed to be that the only reason he wasn't ripping you apart right now was that something about you just smelled absolutely rancid to him.

What did he say it was again?

He said...love, right? 

Well...yeah.

That was probably true. You did...love Gray. At least, you believed you did. But Gray wasn’t here anymore. Just you, and this abominable, hulking monster before you. 

But you don’t understand how he would be able to smell or even sense that, or why it disgusted him this much...Perhaps he was just teasing you, having led you on for all this time. If he really wanted to kill you, he had a...pretty roundabout way of doing it. Part of you wished he just did it from the get-go, instead of luring you into this unnecessary trap. Instead of making you believe you had found a friend. Instead of making you believe that he was someone who…

You couldn’t think about that right now. You had to keep focused on getting out of here. Because although you were beginning to regret ever loving Gray, it also seemed like it was the only thing that was saving your life right now. But surely that ‘smell’ wouldn’t keep that monster Pennywise back forever. He was already beginning to drool from his open mouth, and you heard another grumble roar its way out from him. You had to get out NOW.

Pennywise was smart, guarding the door. Even if there was some sort of back exit, he knew that you had no idea where it was. If you ran to leave and find it, chances are he’d be upon you again before you even made your way out of the room. You felt as if you couldn’t take your eyes off him for one second. If you did, it’d be over, and your lucky second chance would’ve been for nothing.

Taking a great risk by doing so, you glanced at the windows to your side. Quickly, in small increments. A fast glance to the window, and back at him to make sure he wasn’t about to pounce. Back and forth. The closest window to you had a big crack in it, and several smaller cracks across.

It was cracked enough.

You knew it was your last chance of getting out of here, so you had to take it. Even if it didn’t work, you were dead either way. Without warning to him, you charged yourself straight into the window and jumped out, shattering it completely. For a brief moment, you forgot the house was on a small foundation, and it gave you a brief scare as you fell a bit farther down than you had anticipated, like missing the last step on a stairwell. Lucky for you, the overgrown grass had somehow knotted itself together, providing a small cushion for you to land upon. It wasn’t much, and still hurt like all hell when you hit the ground, but it broke your fall enough that you didn’t feel like you broke any bones.

Adrenaline still pumping fast through your veins, you scrambled to your feet and ran. Faster than you ever had in your life, away from this house and from the monster inside. You had no idea if he was still chasing after you, but you didn’t dare turn around to look. All you could think of was running, and getting somewhere safe. Somewhere with people, somewhere where he couldn’t corner you alone. 

Eventually, you made it back to the more urban areas of Derry. Sturdy brick buildings lined up against one another, and people enjoying the summer day, completely in the dark about the monster that you now knew lived here. Sensing that you weren’t being followed all the way out here, finally safe enough, you felt your exhaustion catch up to you. You coughed loudly as you struggled to catch your breath, catching yourself on your knees as you sputtered and inhaled. You rested one arm on the building beside you, hoping to keep your balance as you tried to regulate your breathing.

A young couple exited the door of the building you rested upon. At first, they didn’t pay you any mind. But after doing a double-take, the woman of the pair shrieked “Oh, Jesus!” and her boyfriend moved in front of her to say “Hey, do you need some help?!”

You looked up at them, confused as to what they meant. You had figured at most you just looked exhausted, but when you caught sight of their gaze, you found they were both looking at your arm, resting against the building. When you looked at it, you also had to do a double take. You hadn’t noticed until now that there was a huge gash along the length of it, bleeding profusely. It must’ve been from when you jumped out the window, with all that broken glass...but you hadn’t felt it in the slightest. Perhaps your brain was just in too shocked a state to process it.

The young couple, who you never learned the names of, were nice enough to bring you to the nearest care facility. You were very grateful for their help. When the doctors and nurses who took care of you asked how it happened, you tried to be as honest as possible, while also being as dishonest as possible. You told them that you went to the old house on Neibolt street, looking for your missing cat. You could’ve sworn you saw it in the doorway. But, as you looked around inside, you tripped on something like a ball or a rolling pin or something round that sent you flying through one of the windows, and you must’ve cut yourself on glass on the way down. Close enough to the true story, and enough that they needed to hear to take care of you properly. They never would’ve believed the real story. Even you weren’t sure if you believed it entirely, despite having just lived it.

They disinfected your wound, and each had something to say about it on your way out. Most of them mumbled about how that old house on Neibolt street is nothing but trouble, and how they should just tear it down already. Some talked about how they should build a nice, pretty new house there. It was such a lovely area, after all. Someone was bound to buy if they just renovated it. One of the nurses approached you directly and handed you a list. It was a list of things to do for when your cat goes missing. She seemed to handwrite it herself, and told you that she hoped your cat (that doesn’t actually exist) comes back home soon. You smiled awkwardly as you accepted the list, feeling a bit bad that you lied to her knowing how seriously she took the issue. 

And then, they sent you out on your way back home.

But you didn’t want to go home. 

You didn’t feel safe there.

You didn’t feel safe anywhere.

You did, of course, eventually go home. You had nowhere else to go, after all. It was nights like these you wish you could’ve called up a friend and stayed over their house. But you had no friends. And the one you did have, well…

You didn’t go to sleep that night. You couldn’t. If you did, maybe it would’ve gotten you. It had been in your house before, who’s to say it couldn’t get in again? Trying to keep yourself safe and calm, you took every precaution you could think of so that you would be able to see the sun again tomorrow, and maybe then you could figure out what to do.

You made a shit-ton of coffee. Like, a shit-ton. Regardless of how you felt about all that coffee, you needed the caffeine, although you were almost certain that sheer terror would prevent you from sleeping regardless. You turned on every light in your house, and kept every room illuminated. No dark shadows for him to hide himself in. It wouldn’t look pretty on your electricity bill, but you’d rather pay extra as opposed to, well, dying. Taking a bit of a risk, you turned on the television and changed it to a child friendly channel, praying that the beast wouldn’t take hold of your TV again as it had done last time. The sound of characters talking on the sitcom and silly paper towel commercials helped in making you feel less scared. And you stayed like that, all night. Sitting on the couch, blanket wrapped around you, every light in your house on, watching children’s television and drinking a dozen cups of coffee. And you didn’t do anything other than that, until the sun had risen over the horizon and you had to get ready for work.

“You look like death.” was the first thing your coworker told you upon seeing you.

But you weren’t offended. She was right, and you were just glad to be able to share a shift with a coworker this time. You really, really didn’t want to be alone right now.

Anyways, she was right, you did look like death. You remember catching a look at yourself in the mirror before you came out here, and oh man, it was not pretty. The bags under your eyes felt incredibly heavy, and they looked it, too. Anyone could see that deep purple under your eyes from a mile away, and your eyes themselves were completely bloodshot. Your sclera began to look more red than white. On top of that, you moved slowly, and your speech wasn’t as smooth as you had liked it to be.

“What happened to you?” she asked. 

You couldn’t remember her name. You never could. It didn’t help that she never wore her name tag. Though you were pretty sure it began with a J. Jackie? Joan? Janet? Julie? You had kinda just settled on calling her J. Even in your phone, her contact was simply listed as “Blonde J”, so it was as good a nickname as any. As stated, she had blonde hair, and it was always kept long and straight. It was a dirty blonde, with brown highlights complementing the dark freckles that dashed across the bridge of her nose. She had a silver nose ring that always reflected brightly under the lights of your store, and it moved when she sniffled her nose. She always wore an old baseball cap, usually with a blue or green color to it. She technically wasn’t allowed to, but no one ever stopped her, and she never got in trouble for it.

In response to asking you what was wrong, you simply told her you had a nasty break-up, that was all. It was completely unrelated to the bandage wrapped around your arm, which she also inquired about. Just two separate, unfortunate things to happen to you yesterday. 

“I didn’t even know you were seeing someone.”

‘Of course you didn’t.’ You thought to yourself. ‘We aren’t friends.’

Despite feeling that way, work was still better with her there. It meant you weren’t alone, and you had less of a reason to be scared. Of course, after what happened with Robert Gray...you knew that It--whatever It was--had the ability to change its shape. Who’s to say it was restricted to Robert Gray? It could look like anyone, or anything…

But, you were fairly certain that J wasn’t it. You remember her being scheduled for today, and you didn’t receive any bad or unusual vibes from her...Just seemed like the same old laid-back J. And you were thankful for that.

Although your appearance right now probably wasn’t the best to be greeting customers with, you were on cash register duty while J took care of the shelves and stocking things. And despite how tired you were, you were able to do your half pretty well, you think. Work was good at distracting you from all the scary things that plagued your mind. Kept you busy. Kept you focused. 

You got all your usual types of customers. 13-year-olds buying a fuck ton of candy, talking about the movie they’d be sneaking it into soon. 15-year-olds trying to buy cigarettes off you, and storming away angrily when you told them you’d need to see some kind of ID. Mothers holding a baby in one hand and buying birthday balloons from you in the other. Old dudes coming in to buy nothing but lottery tickets, as they did every week. 

And then, one strange customer. If you could even call her a customer at all, since she didn’t step into the store.

You saw her taping something to the front window of your store. She appeared to be an older woman, at least 10 years older than you. She seemed to be carrying a pile of papers with her, and wiping her eyes as she stuck the tape to the window. She was crying. After leaving her paper there, she hurried along the sidewalk without missing a beat, presumably going to leave more papers on more windows in other places.

The store was empty (except for J) when this happened, so you swung around the counter momentarily to take a step outside and see what she left. Your heart dropped when you read the words “MISSING CHILD” in bold, black print, followed by a picture of a smiling, happy young girl. It seemed to be a picture taken from a birthday party. She was sitting at a table, cake in front of her. She wore a tiara and...fairy wings. She...she looked almost like...You couldn’t tell if it was the same girl you saw when you went out the other day, but…just the idea of it was enough to send a chill down your spine. A girl had seen in person just the other day, suddenly having disappeared...

You headed back inside the store, regretting having gone to check in the first place. J was standing between two of the shelves, restocking toothbrushes and not caring to put them in color order, as you had a habit of doing sometimes.

“What’s the matter this time?” she asked, turning to you slightly. You didn’t know the sadness you felt was apparent on your face.

You told her that the lady who just came by here put up a missing child poster on your front window, and it made you feel bad. But rather than agreeing that a missing child was sad, J just...gave you an odd look. As if you had three heads or something.

“So?” she said.

So? ….So? A child was missing, and she brushed it off like it was nothing! You were almost about to call her out for her insensitivity, before she followed it up with “That’s, like, the seventh one this week. Why do you care more about this one than the others, huh?”

You blinked. Seventh child this week…? You asked her what she was talking about. Again, she gave you a strange look.

“What, do you like, live under a rock or something? C’mon, dude.”

You didn’t understand what she was talking about, and it must’ve been written all over your face, because she started explaining it to you.

“Kids have been going missing ever since summer started, yeah?” She looked back to the brushes as she spoke. “Like, maybe one or two adults are mixed in there, but it’s mostly the kids. People spreadin’ rumors that there’s some kinda serial killer or somethin, heheh.”

You felt your tired face become flush with embarrassment. This had been happening since the summer started…? You honestly had no idea that any of that was even happening. It’s not like you never kept up with the news or anything, you simply just...hadn’t heard anyone even talk about it. You felt embarrassed that you didn’t know until right now. All you could respond with was a simple “Ah, that’s right.” and return back to your post behind the counter.

The rest of the day proceed as normal, mostly. It was the afternoon now, and soon your shift would be over. But, truthfully, you didn’t want it to be over just yet. You wanted to stay here, and with J. You weren’t particularly fond of J or felt all that close with her, but she seemed like the only person in the world you could trust right now. The only person you could trust who was who she said she was. If you left her side, the next time you see J...might not be the real J.

“Gray.”

That word snapped you out of your trance as you returned to your senses. The name of the man you…

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” you asked, trying to remember where you were and your surroundings at the moment. You were still...really tired.

You were at work. You were behind the counter, and you were working the cash register. J was on one end of the counter, restocking some candy and taking a bar for herself, not caring if you noticed. In front of you, behind the other end of the counter, was a man. He seemed old, with plenty of wrinkles and age spots on his face. He had white hair, and thick framed glasses that made his eyes appear a bit bigger than they probably should have. Even with the summer weather, he was wearing a business suit and a tight tie, as if he had just gotten out of the office and came down here in the middle of the afternoon.

In front of you sat the things he was looking to buy. Standard stuff. A pack of pencils, as well as a pack of pens. A ruler, some tape, and a family-sized bag of chips. But in his hands, he held a phone case to purchase as well. It was hot pink in color, and had a geometric design on it.

“Do you have one in black, or maybe gray?” he asked again. He didn’t sound angry, as many older customers seemed to get when you didn’t catch what they said right away. You were thankful for that.

“Ah, yeah, I think so.” you responded, shifting yourself slightly. “I think we have some more in the back, I’ll go look.”

You turned to go look for the phone cases, reaching up to scratch your shoulder that had suddenly begun to itch like a pesky mosquito bite as you did. But as soon as your hand pressed against the back door, you heard him say something.

“He’s dead, you know.”

You froze. 

Hand still on the door, you slowly twisted your head to face him. No sudden movements.

And when you caught sight of him, he wasn’t the same man standing there anymore.

He was Gray.

Robert Gray.

Standing there, in a familiar cozy sweater, hands perched upon the counter. Green eyes as lovely as you remembered them being, and afternoon sun shining through the front doors, making his orangey-brown hair glisten. His smile was soft, and you felt utterly terrified by it.

You didn’t mean to speak, but something within you forced you to. Your body acting of its own accord as you squeaked between your quivering lips,

“...W...What?”

“Robert Gray. He’s dead.”

And as the words trailed off his mouth, Gray’s smile dropped, and his eyes...oh, god.

His eyes began to melt.

Like wax candles under a burning flame, they melted. The remains of it streaming down his face like tears on a marble statue, creating small wisps of smoke as it trickled and burned down his skin, leaving nothing but an endless void in the spot where his eyes should’ve been. 

You felt yourself reach up to cover your mouth with your free hand as your own tears began to find their way down your face, horrified and heartbroken by the mortifying sight before you.

And then you blinked.

And he was gone.

Replaced by the man who stood there initially, who was now looking mighty concerned to see you crying. He looked taken aback, as if wondering if it was something he said that caused you to start crying the way that you did. J stood up from where she was, also with a concerned aura to her. 

“You ok dude?” she asked.

“Y...yeah, I just...I’m just really tired.” you stuttered out, rushing into the back room door and sobbing into your hands once it was closed. It was still haunting you.

J took care of the customer for you and afterwards went to meet you in the back room. J may not have really been your friend, but she was still your acquaintance, and a human being. She patted your back a bit as you tried to settle down. You told her you just didn’t get any sleep that night, and you...miss your ex a lot already. It was taking a toll on you.

J said that she got it. That she had been there before, and she knew how rough it could be. Since you only had an hour of your shift left, she offered to let you leave early, and she’d cover for you while you went home to rest. Hearing that, you felt a bit bad remembering how you thought your coworkers wouldn’t cover your shift if your life depended on it now. And you would’ve appreciated the offer had it been any other situation that she was offering to cover for you, but not this time. You didn’t know what you’d run into out there, even if it had already come in here…

You told her you were fine. Just needed a good cry, that’s all, and you’d ride out the rest of your shift. She didn’t push you, merely shrugged and said “Suit yourself” and returned to her own shift.

After the hour, mostly uneventful(thankfully), had passed, it was time for you to go. Again, you were hesitant, but you really had no reason to be. Nowhere was anymore safer than anywhere, it seemed. You gave J a quick wave as you clocked out, and told her to be careful on her way back home tonight.

“You too, dude.” she responded, and you left out the front without another word.

You took a deep sigh as you left, thinking of all that had happened in the past 24 hours. It amazed you how you hadn’t died of a heart attack by now. It also amazed you how you were able to just...return to work, after what had happened the day earlier.

But you didn’t really seem to have any other choice, did you?

It’s not like anyone would believe you...If you tried to talk about it, surely you’d be locked up...somewhere. A place where they keep all the “delusional” people, because they think people like that are “scary”. But even despite all that, it wasn’t a delusion. He wasn’t a delusion.

You knew that.

And that bite in your shoulder...the bite that itches when he’s present.

It was proof enough to you that it was real.

You didn’t really want to head back home, but you probably oughta, you figured. Better to go home now while the sun was still out, than to stay out in public places all day praying for safety in numbers only to return home when it was dark. Then, only the streetlights would be out to illuminate the world to you...and you really didn’t want to walk home in that.

You started your trek home, and, as you scanned the area, you were surprised to see that hardly anyone was out now, in fact. You’re not sure why, it was such a beautiful day, after all..The sun hadn’t even begun to set yet! It was a little pink in the sky maybe, but it was still more blue than anything...it made you nervous to walk down the barren streets of a town you knew was usually so lively with activity. 

But you weren’t alone for long.

You heard...something. It sounded like a whine, far, far, into the distance…

Getting closer.

And then, something bumped into your legs.

Oh, dear…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh here we go again! I wonder what'll happen next? Hehe!
> 
> Happy Thursday everyone! I hope you've all been enjoying today and your week so far! I've been SUPER busy with school stuff and it probably won't stop 'til after Halloween, but I'm hanging in there! 
> 
> Speaking of Halloween, Halloween is NEXT THURSDAY! Crazy how time flies by! Now, I usually make plans with my friends on Halloween, so because of that, next weeks chapter might be uploaded either the Wednesday before or the Friday after depending on how things go! Worry not! It'll be there eventually! And after that I'll probably try to stick to updating on Thursdays! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope the upcoming ones will be fun and engaging too! I know Pennywise wasn't as big in this chapter, but I have plans for him in the next one and I'm excited for you all to see! Until then!
> 
> Thank you all SO so much for all the kind and supportive and encouraging comments you've left! They inspire me to keep writing and make me really happy! Thank you! <3 :')


	9. The Kid

A kid. 

Crying up a storm, a kid had ran right into you, and promptly wrapped his arms around your legs. 

He looked no older than 7 or 8 years old, and wore the kind of bright, garish, unmatching colors that only children wear. A bright green shirt with brighter red shorts, and striking yellow sneakers. It looked like an outfit out of a cartoon, practically. His shiny black hair was cut into a bowl shape on top of his head, and his eyes were brown from the quick glimpses of them you managed to catch through tears.

And now here he was, latched onto you, tears racing down his face in waterfalls as he continued to scream and cry. He struggled to get his words out through sobs, but luckily they were clear enough for you to hear. 

"P-P-PLEASE!" he yelled. You looked around you again, hoping that maybe the kids parents were nearby and you could return him to them. Not a soul was on the streets except for you two. "P-PLEASE HELP! S..SHE'S GOING TO GET ME!" 

She?

But you didn't see anyone except for the two of you. 

For a minute, you wondered if ...this was another one of the clowns tricks. It was the clown...but it was also Robert Gray...and it was also in your store, just an hour before, altering its appearance before you. You were paranoid that this child, too, was just...another illusion created by him. A disguise, trying to trick you...

But then, you realized, he couldn't be.

Because you looked up again. 

And you saw her. 

Oh, god.

She was quite a distance away, but she was charging at the both of you from the direction the kid just came from. Despite her distance, it was as if you could see every detail of her clear as day.

Her entire body was a pale, sickly white. Her aging, thin skin stuck to her skeleton like an old, rotting bedsheet. Her hair resembled storm clouds, deep gray and messy, whipping wildly as she raced towards you, cracking like thunder. Her dress, if you could call it that, looked like it was made of old gauze strips, tangled together, glowing faintly like a ghost. Claw-like hands were extended in your direction, and her face--oh, her face--...No eyes, just sockets, and a mouth gaped so far open it was like a portal to an endless, dark void. 

She was a banshee, right out of a horror movie, and right in front of you. 

She was rushing towards you at incredible speed, and yet you felt almost paralyzed in fear despite the kid still clinging and crying at your legs. It was if you were somehow watching from the outside in...rather than being a very real person in this very unreal scenario. 

And then, she screamed. Oh, god, she screamed. An ear-shattering scream that seemed to rock the entire world around you. It was as if you had heard a gunshot up close, with the ringing in your ears that followed, muffling all the other sounds around you. The only good thing to come out of such a deafening scream was that it snapped you out of whatever trance you were in, and without thinking of it a moment longer, you scooped the kid into your arms and ran. 

It amazed you, how fast you were able to run. No sleep, running on caffeine, an injured arm and a crying, shrieking child in your hands. Adrenaline was certainly one hell of a drug. It propelled you to just keep running, despite how improbable it seemed for you to be able to, and run you did. 

You ran, and ran, and ran, just as you had the day before. Away from another monster. Or, perhaps, the same monster, in a different form. Though even in such an adrenaline-fueled state, everything that had happened was beginning to take its toll on you. You felt your legs begin to ache, but you knew you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t. Stopping meant death, for both you and the kid. You weren’t going to let that happen. 

The kid…

Hey, wait.

That’s just like…

As if she was right next to you, you heard J’s voice, loud and clear, ring through your ears. 

“Kids have been going missing ever since summer started, yeah?”

Ah...it clicked. Suddenly, it all made sense to you. 

It wasn’t too hard to put two and two together now. In fact, you felt a bit dumb for not having realized it when you first heard it. People going missing. A monster in your city. The monster you had met. The monster that tried to eat you...the monster that was chasing you now...the kid in your arms…

...He eats them, doesn’t he?

It made you feel sick, to even think of something so vile. You didn’t want to think that could be the answer. But it seemed like the only explanation for all of this, everything that’s been happening this summer. The one connection you could make. 

People in the town have been going missing because a monster has been eating them.

You were almost one of those people too, weren’t you?

You weren’t sure how long you had been running, or even had an idea of where you were running to. You just knew that running was the only thing you could do. All you knew was that you had to get away, somehow. The kid you were holding wailed and cried the whole time, not like you could blame him. You felt like you wanted to cry, too.

After what felt like forever and no time at all, you began to slow your pace. Just a little bit. You looked behind you. Nothing was chasing you anymore. You turned your head from side to side. No one was there. No one had been anywhere since you started running. You had thought that eventually you’d run into someone else, especially being accompanied by such a loud, crying child. But it was as if the entire town had disappeared. And now, as you slowed your pace until you stopped, you realized it was just you and the kid.

Hey, where were you anyways?

You took in your surroundings as you carefully placed the kid next to you on the ground. He was still sniffling up a storm, but he wasn’t full-blown crying anymore, which was a good thing. At least, you’re pretty sure it’s a good thing.

It was then that you realized you had ran all the way to the Kissing Bridge. That’s what all the kids called it, anyways.

You had only been here a few times before, even with how long you lived in Derry. It was just a bit out of your way, and you never really had many reasons to cross it, so you were never really around it all that much. It wasn’t anything all that special, really. Just a red, covered bridge that helped people get over the river. Fulfilling the purpose all bridges do. The only reason it was called the “Kissing Bridge” is because it’s where lovesick teenagers would go, to carve in their names or initials or any other symbol of romance they had. Admittedly, it was kind of cute, but you were too old for things like that...right?

Wait, what were you doing?

Oh, right! The kid!

That lack of sleep was finally starting to affect you, huh?

You knelt down to get closer to the kid’s level. He was wiping away his tears on his hands, trying his best to calm down, but you could tell how shaken he was. It was a terrible sight to see.

You reached out rubbed your hand against one of his shoulders, and spoke in a calm, quiet voice, to assure him that everything was alright now.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay! She’s gone now…” You said, taking one last careful look around you both. “...She’s gone.”

The kid didn’t answer you. He was still sniffling, and getting choked up on his own tears. You continued to rub his shoulder, hoping to get him to talk if you could. 

With a smile, you introduced yourself to him, and asked for his name in return.

“S...S-Samir…” he sputtered out, clearly trying to pull it together. You felt so bad for him. You wished you could’ve told him it was okay to cry, but...the sun was already starting to set. The sky was beginning to look more pink than blue, and you knew you should get this kid back to his parents before it started to get really dark out.

“Well, Samir…It’s nice to meet you.” you started, trying to think of the right lie to tell. What would you tell him otherwise? That monsters were real? Scar him for life more than he had been already? “...That scary woman was just one of the big kids, playing a mean prank, ok? I...I see them all the time.”

Samir’s sniffles started to calm a little. He wasn’t wiping his tears anymore, so you took it as a sign you were getting somewhere. Samir told you that he had been with his parents at the park, but he lost them. Then, suddenly, the “scary woman” appeared and started to chase him. You could only imagine how terrifying it must’ve been. To be a little kid, lost, looking for mom and dad, only to turn around and be greeted by a screaming, abhorrent poltergeist.

You continued to stick with the “It was just a mean big kid!” story, hoping that you could keep it up.

“Lots of the big kids like to mess with the little kids…” you continued, hoping that he couldn’t see right through you. “...But you don’t have to be scared of them. They’re just kids in masks, that’s all.”

It was weird, telling him this, when you knew it wasn’t true. Because honestly, he had every right to be afraid. Every right to feel even a smidgen of the fear you had been feeling this whole time. 

But it calmed him, at least. He nodded his head in agreement with you. He said that his parents would often tell him the same thing, when it came to bullies. He didn’t have to be afraid of kids in masks.

“Th-thanks for helping me…” he mumbled. He wiped his nose on his arm, in the gross way kids do.

You told him it wasn’t any issue. At the very least, you were glad he didn’t question why you--the adult--didn’t just stop the big kid instead of running who-knows-how-long all the way out here. Because honestly, you don’t know how you’d answer.

“Do you know your parent’s phone number?” you asked him, pulling your phone out of your pocket preemptively. 

He hesitated a moment, then nodded his head yes. You passed him your phone and told him to call them, so that they know he’s alright. You’d keep a look out for any of the mean big kids while he did so.

You stood up as he tapped the numbers into your phone, one at a time, and you looked around you. No screaming banshee lady, no clown...Safe. It appears he--it--gave up on you.

Or, that’s what you figured at first.

When you eyed your surroundings, something about the fence seemed to...flicker.

And in a blink of your eye, it changed.

Suddenly, the stray carvings against the wood appeared much more...uniform. Lined together. Like bricks stacked upon each other. You squinted as you attempted to read what was written there, only to regret knowing and having read it in the first place.

In deeply carved capital letters, the line “YOU KISSED ME.” jumped out at you. It was written there, over, and over, and over, and over again. Like the chalk writings of a kid who got in trouble, repeating the bad, bad thing he did wrong on the chalkboard.

“YOU KISSED ME. YOU KISSED ME. YOU KISSED ME. YOU KISSED ME.” carved over, and over, and over… You knew exactly what that was referencing. The house, when you were with Gray, and you…

Going against your better judgement, you looked further down the fence, as well as the one on the other side.

The carvings continued. “YOU KISSED ME.” repeated again and again, all the way down the boards. Although, the monotony of it was occasionally broken up by other, separate carvings. But they weren’t any more pleasant than the ones that had scattered the fence already.

“FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES…” one read. It trailed off, and instead of the next line of the rhyme, it instead followed itself with a crude carving of a familiar clown, standing next to a little carved person who was dressed suspiciously like you...except, their head was bitten off. You felt yourself gulp with nervousness when you read it.

“MISS ME, MISS ME, NOW YOU GOTTA KISS ME!” read another. Next to it was a carved smiley face, that had a big, round nose in the middle. A smiley little clown face. Somehow, that happy, smiling little face made you feel just as anxious as the drawing before it.

You felt your legs wobble at the thought of potentially having to run again. You weren’t sure if you’d be fast enough this time. However, you were snapped out of it by Samir, tugging on your wrist. He said his parents wanted to talk with you.

You took one more quick glance to the fence. The carvings were back to the way they were before. Little hearts, with little initials. “M+R, R+E, Y+P…” and so on, and so forth. None of the weird shit you were seeing just a moment ago. Except, this time, you knew it wasn’t just the lack of sleep causing you to see things, so your anxiety was hardly eased. 

You shook yourself out of it as you took the phone from Samir, raising it to your ear and greeting his parents. They sounded so relieved that someone had found their kid. You heard them breathe their relief the minute you said “Hello?” into the speaker. They kept thanking you over and over for making sure he was safe. You assured them over and over that it really was no problem, you were happy to help, yadda yadda yadda...You wanted to pay attention to what they were saying of course, you didn’t want to be rude, but your mind was in other places right now…

After a few minutes you and Samir’s parent’s agreed you’d meet at the police station, so that you could return him to them. You hung up the phone after the “see you soons!” and told Samir about what the plan was. He didn’t make a fuss or anything. It made sense to him, and he held out his hand for you to hold when you walked back. You chuckled a bit, and took it. Only kids were nice enough to offer their hands to hold anymore. You gave one last look around as you left the bridge, almost wishing that Samir hadn’t took your hand, so that you could use it to scratch your terribly itching shoulder…

Samir’s parents were already waiting inside when you got to the police station. They rushed at you so fast when you walked in, that you almost fell over. They were INCREDIBLY grateful you found their son. His mother was even crying, and his dad looked like he might start as well. Again, you had assured them that it really, really wasn’t an issue. You also told them the whole made-up story of “The big kids bullying people” and reminded Samir that he was very brave. He smiled at you and said that you were brave too. When you were finally able to say goodbye, after his parents bombarded you with thanks, you left out the front doors, and Samir’s family did too. You waved to him as he got into the car with his parents, and as you did so, you silently prayed that he wouldn’t experience anything like that ever again.

If you hadn’t been there, well…

It was already dark by the time you had to make your way home. You had been trying to avoid this, but you had no other choice now. It was dark, and you had nowhere else to go.

The walk home took a lot out of you, just from the sheer anxiety of thinking something would pop out at you at any moment. How could you not think that way after everything that’s happened? Every slight rustle of a bush, every swaying tree branch...every old plastic bag or tossed paper blowing in the breeze...they gave you heart attack after heart attack. Every little movement made your breath catch in your throat and your blood run cold. You’d grab at your chest and feel your feet get ready to run before realizing that it was only a piece of trash or a squirrel in the night, and you’d have to remind yourself to calm down all over again.

It felt like a great relief when you finally reached your front door. Last night you were safe here, awake and with all the lights on. But you knew you wouldn’t be able to pull an all nighter again. All the running, all the emotions you felt, everything from the past two days took such a great toll on you, and you were really starting to feel it now as you entered into your home and locked the door behind you. The heavy bags under your eyes felt like they could drag your face down to the floor if you let them. Your legs could barely lift themselves as they struggled up the stairs. Oh, you couldn’t wait to get back to your bed. You NEEDED to sleep. You were so exhausted by this point, you felt like you’d be able to sleep forever…

But you weren’t able to sleep as soon as you hoped.

For when you entered into the doorway of your room, you instinctively reached out to flip the light switch beside you, but instantly froze when you saw him there, through the shadows.

Pennywise.

He was sitting there, in your dark room. The only thing illuminating him was the pale light of the streetlights leaking in through the window. They helped to outline his silhouette. Every curve of his costume, and every hair that flared from his head. The only details you could make out were the outline of his shape, and his blazing yellow eyes, staring you down like an owl would a field mouse. Patient. Waiting for the right moment to strike.

He was perched upon the foot of your bed like a gargoyle. All crouched up, unmoving. Not a twitch, or a flinch, or a blink. He didn’t even look like he was breathing. He didn’t say anything, and neither did you. You were too shocked and paralyzed to think about what you were going to do.

And then, suddenly, the words escaped from you. As if you had no choice but to think out loud.

In a quiet voice between quivering lips, you asked,

“Are you going to eat me?”

“No.” He responded, bluntly. The only movement you could see from him was in his eyes, and how they bounced about in the shadows when he talked. “Not yet. Not while you’re still smelling like that.”

And then once again, you two were staring at each other in silence. A short conversation. You didn’t dare move your eyes away from him. You wondered how long you’d have to stay like this. Were you supposed to trust that he wouldn’t eat you right now? You wanted to, because you didn’t think you’d have the energy to run from him again…

And then, he broke the silence.

“Do you think you saved him?”

You felt yourself blink in surprise at his question.

“...H...Huh?” was all you could murmur out, as the paralyzing fear you felt was still processing within you. Anything that left his lips could be just another trick.

“What was his name?” he rhetorically questioned, suddenly jerking his head into a tilt, and keeping it crooked sideways. “Sa-mir? Little Sammy?”

You didn’t move or answer him. You didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

“Do you think you saved him?” he repeated, tone unchanged.

You still didn’t answer. You didn’t want to. And even if you did, you don’t know what you’d say.

“I just ‘ought to let you know…” he continued. His voice changing to be deeper, more guttural and threatening “You haven’t saved anyone.”

“That’s not true.” You blurted, quickly reaching a hand up to cover your mouth after you had said it. You silently scolded yourself for reacting on instinct like that, not knowing what Pennywise would do to you. Even the clown seemed a bit surprised. For a split second, you saw his eyes widen at your response, before shifting back into a predatory gaze.

“You really believe that? That just because he’s with mommy and daddy, he’s safe?” You heard him chuckle, and it made your stomach sink as he continued “They can’t be there for him all the time. And neither can you.”

You couldn’t see it, but you knew he was smiling. You felt it.

“All I need is one moment. A single second.” You could practically feel his grin grow wider as he seethed. Even worse, you think you heard his drool drip and patter on your floor. “And then no one will be able to save him.”

You felt yourself gulp. You felt your hands begin to shiver. You almost felt your eyes begin to tear, thinking of the boy you hadn’t even met until today. He was just a kid. A young boy, with so much life ahead of him...and here was this animal. This monster, promising you that he wouldn’t let the kid go so easily. He didn’t seem he would let you go so easily, either. You had hoped that the clown was just trying to get to you, but...deep down, you knew he was right. You...you wouldn’t be able to save him, would you?

He almost had you, many, many times before. More often than not, the only thing that had saved you was his own restraint. His own choice to let you live another day. You were certain that, if he really wanted to, he could swallow you whole in one swift motion, and there would be nothing you could do. You had been at his mercy, all this time. And he had been feeling merciful to you.

“...Why not me, then?” You asked him, already beginning to regret it before he even answered. “Why has it taken you so long to eat me?”

“Well, that’s simple!” He giggled, in that clown-like voice that now filled you with dread. “You wouldn’t taste good enough.”

You felt your heart skip a beat, and your brows furrow in worry as your mouth dropped itself of its own accord. Was that really it? Was that the only thing that was preventing you from meeting an even earlier death? That you simply...wouldn’t taste good to him? The only reason he had ever spared you, all those times before...you just wouldn’t have tasted right?

Seeing the expression of genuine shock and worry on your face, the clown continued,

“Do you know what tastes the best?”

You didn’t answer. You didn’t want to know.

“I know what you’re thinking. But no! No, no...It isn’t hot dogs.” He said, his neck beginning to twist his head into inhuman angles. “....Or cotton candy…” His head was hanging down in front of his body now. You were almost glad it was too dark to make it out perfectly. “...Or even POPcorn!” He cheered, his head now having done a complete 360 from its correct position, and yet his neck appeared untwisted and unbothered.

“It’s fear.”

Slowly, he began to crawl off your bed. Much like he did a moment prior, his limbs had circled and twisted in unnatural ways as he made his way off, rotating and slinking onto the floor, and then suddenly springing up in the middle of it, all his body parts in correct position once again.

“You were going to be tasty…” he whined, taking slow strides towards you. “Tasty, tasty, tasty…I was going to make you so afraid…”

Before you knew it, he was directly in front of you. Towering over you. Mere inches stood between you and him. Those blazing yellow eyes looking hungrier than you had seen them before.

“...But you aren’t afraid. Not as much as you should be. You still smell like something else.” He crooked his head once again, the other way this time. 

“WhyIsThat?” he asked, the words coming out all at once.

You had no idea what he meant. You were pretty sure you had never been so overflowing with fear in your entire life. For days, weeks, it was all you ever felt. This wasn’t enough for him? All this fear wouldn’t have satisfied his hunger? 

But then you remembered what that ‘something else’ meant. You heard him say it before. Back in the old Neibolt House. That you smelled of love. The love that you had for Gray. It was repulsive to him. Perhaps, even with Gray gone, you still held that...feeling in your heart, somewhere, even if you couldn’t recognize it behind all the terror you had been subjected to these past 48 or so hours. But...Gray wasn’t technically gone, because he was…

You swallowed hard as you prepared to answer him of your own choice this time. 

“Because Gray is still in there.”

“HA!” The monster before you immediately burst out. He shook giddly, allowing the bells on his suit to ring louder than ever, and you felt embarrassment make its way to burn itself into your cheeks. As if you really had the room to feel embarrassment at this point.

“Robert Gray is an act. A performance.” He hissed, bending himself slightly over you, as if he really needed to make himself appear bigger than he was. “I am him...but he is not me.”

You felt your body stiffen at his answer, and before you could protest, you heard a voice. It came from the clown, but...it was Gray’s voice. Gray’s voice called your name, and it made tears prick at the corner of your eyes when you heard it.

But Gray wasn’t here. Just the clown, as he leaned further down, so that you were now on eye level with him. Your nose and his just a hair away from touching. And returning to his unmistakable, Pennywise voice, he asked

“Do you want to kiss me again?”

You turned on your light.

And he disappeared with the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! I managed to get this out by Halloween!
> 
> (I'm a few minutes off, but let's pretend ok?) 
> 
> School REALLY kicked my ass this week so im happy i was able to get this part to you all! I honestly wasn't sure if I'd be finished by this point, but I was able to do it!
> 
> I greatly enjoyed Halloween with my friends, it was really fun being able to spend time with them! I was able to upload this part because I got home a bit earlier than anticipated. I'm actually still wearing my Pennywise makeup as I upload this, haha!
> 
> I hope you all have had a very fun and safe Halloween this year! I hope this chapter is up to standard! Finally writing Pennywise talking to the reader again is so fun! I did rush through things a bit as I wrote because I REALLY wanted to be able to put it out by tonight if I was able! And I was, so I hope it's up to standard and makes your Halloween just a bit spookier!(even if it is over haha...)
> 
> As always, thank you for all the kind kudos and comments left on this fic! It really means a lot to know that you all are enjoying it and makes me feel so much happier than you can imagine! You guys are the best, I can't stress it enough!
> 
> I hope you had a terrific Halloween, a great week, and that you enjoyed this chapter! I hope to bring another one to you soon!<3


	10. The Unabandoned House

It was always weird to you when people would say they “slept like a baby” to say they slept very well last night. As far as you knew, babies didn’t sleep that well at all. Practically every diaper commercial starts with a child crying in the middle of the night, waking their poor, exhausted parents to come help them.

But despite your interaction with the clown last night, you slept like a baby indeed. In the good way its used, that is. 

You thought your encounter would’ve left you too scared to sleep, but after Pennywise vanished when you turned the lights on, you were out for the count. The second your head hit the pillow, you were unconscious. You were so terribly exhausted, after all. The alarm clock besides your bed wasn’t even enough to wake you. It was set to go off at the same time every day, but you were awake much later than the scheduled time had been. You’re not entirely sure how many hours you slept for, but you were nearly certain it was in the double-digits.

Oh, but it still took forever to lug yourself out of bed. You felt so groggy, and every ache and pain presented itself now, making you feel like you just got out of a marathon. Hell, a triathlon even. You didn’t want to do anything except sleep more. At this point, you didn’t even care if the clown came in and killed you while you were in bed. At least you’d be sleeping when it happened…

Perhaps the only things that got you out of bed today were the overwhelming needs to use the bathroom and get something to eat. If it wasn’t for either of those, who knows how many extra hours you would’ve spent in bed?

After using the bathroom, washing your face a bit, and achely walking downstairs, you headed into the kitchen. You wanted to think of nothing other than what you would eat for breakfast today, but you knew your mind would never grant you that peace. You had much, much too much to think about right now.

What were you to do? Never in a million years did you think this would be your future. Thousands of possibilities of where you could’ve ended up always drifted through your head, but none of them were ever “Moving into a city where a killer clown eats people”.

You prepared breakfast for yourself, wondering how you even had it within you to eat at a time like this. Thinking of all the times you narrowly escaped death...but when would your luck run out? When would that beast, Pennywise, get impatient with you? And what would he do once he did? What were you, all by yourself, going to do to fix it?

...Maybe you could move? Not like you exactly had the finances to do that right now, but...what was your other option? Stay here and let yourself be eaten? Stay here and get killed? Stay here and wait for death to find you? Though, as much as moving seemed like the only proper solution, you knew that was way out of your realm of possibility right now. Even if you had all the money in the world to move somewhere else, it’d still take you a month or two AT LEAST before you’d be getting out of this home. Who’s to say he won’t have eaten you by then? Who’s to say it won’t be tomorrow that he does?

...Maybe you could take a vacation? That would only be a temporary solution to a much bigger problem, but...you’d be able to save your tail for at least another week or two. You didn’t even have to go that far, you imagine. Just a few towns over, maybe even a liiiiiitle out-of-state just to be on the safe side...Of course you couldn’t go on vacation forever, but maybe it’d be enough to at least trick the clown into thinking you had left for good, at least for a while.

It seemed like a good place to start, at first. But then it occurred to you why you couldn’t do that. In fact, you couldn’t leave Derry at all. Not without a guilty conscious at the very least. 

Samir.

The clown was still after him.

And not just Samir, but the other kids too. The little girl with her fairy wings, the kids you passed at the carnival...Hell, not even just the kids! Everyone here, in this town, was in danger. And it seemed like only you knew.

You felt your heart sink as you thought about it. Every second that passed, someone new was in danger. It could be anyone. A kid, a teen, an adult… Someone’s brother, or sister, or mom, or dad, or grandparent...You thought back to last night, and how that monster promised you that Samir wasn’t safe. No one was. Samir right now, could even be…

You didn’t want to think about it. You might cry if you did. Thinking about how many people have lost their lives to this beast already, and how many people were dying at its hands right now. All the while, you were here, sitting down for breakfast. 

He was probably enjoying his breakfast right now, too.

How unthinkable…

But what were you going to do? It’s not like you were some kind of hero. You didn’t have any sort of authority. You weren’t a cop, or a firefighter, or...anyone who knew how to save people. You were just...you. And you wouldn’t be able to protect everyone, not all the time. Every second the monster wasn’t in your immediate vicinity, someone was probably in danger somewhere, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. There was no way to save everyone.

Unless…

...No, you couldn’t. You wouldn’t be capable of it. He was stronger, faster, and smarter than you.

You’d never be able to kill him.

You’d probably be dead before you could even try.

But, maybe...maybe you wouldn’t have to kill him. Not yet, while he was still unpredictable to you.

Maybe you could just distract him. 

He did seem to like you as a sort of play-thing after all. All those times he teased you, played “pretend” by being Gray with you, showed up in your room just to scare you and then leave. He had said himself last night that he wouldn’t be eating you. Not while you still “smelled like that”. So, while that smell remained, maybe you could use it to your advantage. Every minute he spent playing around with you was another minute he wasn’t eating somebody else. Surely, you’d be saving somebody by doing that. Even if it was only one person…

It scared you, the thought of putting yourself into the monster’s grasp voluntarily. All for people you didn’t even know, and who didn’t know you, nonetheless. You knew what he would do to you if he got tired of the game, as he had attempted to do before...but, if you could save even one person by distracting him for even just a little while...Maybe it’d be worth it. It was the right thing to do, wasn’t it? You couldn’t just sit idly by and let the rest of the town die while you left them to save your own soul. Your conscious would never feel clean again if you did. Even if you hardly knew anyone here, you knew they didn’t deserve to die. Not to him, anyways. No one deserved to die like that.

And once you learned more about him...about his patterns, and the way he operates...then maybe, you’d stand a chance, and you’d be able to do him in for good. Then no one would have to worry anymore, you included. 

But...baby steps.

You hoped you’d get to that point soon, though.

First things first--you’d have to attract the clown to you, somehow.

That didn’t seem like it’d be easy, though. Pennywise seemed to come to you on his own terms, whether you were ready for it or not. There was no predicting when he'd show up, and you knew he would always be trying to catch you off guard. Even if you just sat around in the dark waiting for something spooky to happen, it could still be hours before the horrible thing decided to show its face again. 

Perhaps it was up to you to go out and find him? Though, that too would be a difficult task. There was no telling where he was at any given time, either. You could be looking for him in the park, but maybe he'd be in the barrens, or at your store, or causing distress at some other location you wouldn't even be allowed in, like someone's house.

House….

...Hmm, maybe…

It was a possibility he'd be there.

...After all, there had to be a reason all the kids said the Neibolt House was haunted, right? 

It was also the place he had lured you to, back when he tried to kill you. 

If there was any possibility of finding him anywhere, it had to be there.

It didn't seem like such an abandoned house after all.

Getting ready to head out and face him, you took out a small backpack and began to pack it. You're not entirely sure why. It just kind of made you feel...prepared. The first things you packed were some water bottles and a few snacks. Then you smacked yourself in the head after doing so. How long were you expecting to be out for? It's not like you were going on a hike, and you really didn't like the idea of sleeping in the Neibolt House. Even if there wasn't a killer clown in there, who knows what other kind of creepy critters or gross mold still lived there? You removed most of them, but kept one or two food items and at least one water bottle in there still.

Next, you packed an umbrella, hooking it into a side ring on the backpack. It was an old-fashioned umbrella, the kind with a curved handle and a very pointy end. Of course, you didn't bring it because you were worried about rain. You were hoping--need be--the umbrella would help protect you from something else. You doubted it serve you much in the way of being a weapon, but hey, something is always better than nothing. 

You then started going over some of the stuff you decided to pack with you. Food, water, umbrella, phone, keys(which doubled as another potential weapon), etc, etc. Even though this was a spur of the moment thing, you were sure you had everything you needed.

Oh wait, wait! How could you forget? 

That was the most important thing to bring, after all.

You ran back upstairs to get it, and then you were off, walking on your trail to the Neibolt House.

You only hoped you weren't walking into your own death. 

The walk to the Neibolt House was full of anxiety and dread. Every step closer you took, the more your brain yelled at you to turn around and think of some other plan--do literally anything else. What were you thinking?! Were you trying to speed up your own execution?!

But despite how much your body and mind screamed at you to turn back, you weren’t about to let yourself chicken out of this. That’s exactly what he would want, after all. 

Your fear.

When you finally approached that old, rickety, grungy house, is when all of it began to feel a bit too real. Up until now it had just been an idea--a concept in your mind. That you’d go in there and show him you weren’t afraid and that you’d be saving so many lives by doing so. That you’d keep him distracted and that everyone else could exist in peace because their biggest threat was too busy dealing with you. It was a nice thought. But now, here you were, in front of the house. In front of its torn gate. And your knees felt weak at the thought of taking another step forward.

You now understood why the kids said that this place was haunted, as if it didn’t already look the part before. It’s just that as an adult, you know better. At least, you thought you did. As a child, you grow up learning about ghosts, demons, and monsters that plague the earth and ruin everything around them. As you get older, you learn that monsters aren’t real. Just nasty people, and their rotten ways. And now, as an adult, you learned that monsters are very, very real, and you were right to have been afraid after all. Funny how things work out.

But you couldn’t turn back here, even if you wanted to. Because if you weren’t going to confront him here, then sooner or later HE was going to take it upon himself to confront YOU. And you’d much rather do it on your own terms. At least feel like you have some semblance of control over the situation. 

You swallowed hard as you used every ounce of your willpower to propel your legs forward. One step, two step, three step, four...until you were up the creaking stairs, and before the front door. God, you could practically hear your blood pumping through your ears. Grabbing onto the cold door handle, you prayed to yourself that you smelled. You hoped you smelled, you hoped you REEKED. So bad he wouldn’t even think about eating you. Never in your life would you have thought a day would come where you wished someone would think you smell worse than shit.

And then, before you knew it, you were back inside the house once again, the door causing you to jump as it shut itself loudly behind you. You took a deep breath to calm yourself, but all the dust in the rotten place caused you to start coughing. It was hard to believe this was the same old house you found charming. Nothing in it reminded you of happy families anymore. All of it only caused your mind to wander back to that day...the day your life flashed before your eyes. The day your life was supposed to end. 

You took a few small steps into the house, not really sure what to expect. Maybe he was here, maybe he was hiding...or maybe he just wasn’t here at all, and you were wasting your time by attempting to even look for him. You took another step forward, the floor creaking heavily as you did so ...a bit too heavily. Heavier than you alone would’ve caused it to creak.

“Why, ain’t that sweet! You came here to visit lil’ ol’ me?”

Ah, there it was.

Whipping yourself around, you saw him. The clown himself.

Except there was something different this time around.

For his mouth and all the way down the front of his costume was absolutely drowning in blood.

It was stained such a deep red color, so much so that it almost appeared completely black. It glistened a bit from the filtered light that poured through the windows, and the red hue that it produced reassured you that it had to be blood. As if the sight alone wasn’t enough to make you want to puke, the overwhelming smell of it made you feel nauseous beyond compare. It seems as if he had just returned from his latest meal.

You looked up at him, speechless. But he seemed to have more to say.

“You came for that kiss, didn’t you?”

In one swift motion, he bent himself forward, so that he was eye-level with you now. You could see every little crease in his face that the blood had trickled itself into. It made you feel sick to think it once belonged to someone who was alive just this morning.

“Go on then!” he laughed, a smile spreading across his face. He began to move himself closer to you, and you instinctively walked backwards with each step he took, already beginning to have regretted coming here.

“Kiss me.” he said, his smile having grown inhumanly long. His teeth, by god, his teeth...They were like fangs, and there were so many of them. So many that it looked like they shouldn’t have been able to fit in his mouth.They overlapped and pushed against one another, and each and every one of them was coated in blood. “Riiiiiight here…” he trailed off, tapping one clean, gloved finger against that monstrous cage he called his teeth.

He was so close to you, you could taste his breath. It filled you with a kind of nausea you didn’t even know existed until now. It took every ounce of your strength not to throw up right there and then. Because it honestly wouldn’t have taken any effort to do so at this point. Looking at it was hard enough, smelling it was even worse, but the taste of it on each heavy, warm breath he blew into your face was almost too much.

But you couldn’t let him get the best of you. You weren’t about to give up this easily. You choked back your fear as you reminded yourself in your head that he wasn’t going to eat you, not if you didn’t let him. That fear was all he wanted, and that if you didn’t give it to him, he’d starve. 

So, you fulfilled the clowns request, but not to his exact word. Rather than kiss his bloody, gorish trap of a mouth, you struggled to get up on your tippy-toes, leaned forward, and left a small kiss upon his gigantic forehead. Then, you eased yourself back down, and waited for his reaction.

There was nothing at first, which was...a bit concerning. His smile had dropped completely, but he wasn’t frowning either. He was still bent in front of you, but he looked...completely spaced out. His arms hung limp below him, like vines on a tree. A long strand of shiny drool dripped from his mouth and pooled onto the floor, luckily just missing your shoes. One of his eyes was still staring at you, albeit it didn’t seem focused on you. The other eye began to float its way upwards, like the laziest eye you’ve ever seen. Everything was silent.

And then a giggle. And a smile. And another giggle as he jingled himself just a bit. Both eyes returned focus to you, and he lifted one arm to gently boop his finger against your nose, as he chuckled out “You’re funny.”

You blinked in surprise as he stood himself back up, turned around, and looked as if he was about to exit right back out the front door.

“You’re...not going to eat me?” you asked, despite having just told yourself that he wouldn’t. 

“It almost sounds like you want me to eat you.” he grimly spoke, stopping in the middle of his path. But his tone shifted lighter quickly enough.

“Thought we discussed this, no?” he followed it up with, spinning on his heel to face you again at the end of the hall. He held his hands behind his back, and tilted his head sideways a bit, as if he was completely innocent. His costume...was clean now, somehow. Perhaps “clean” wasn’t the right word to describe it. It was still dingy and dusty and dirty and yellowed, but...there was no blood on it anymore, or any hint that there once had been. Even his face, and every little crack in it, was clean. Not a drop of blood in sight. You wondered if the blood had been an illusion after all, or if he just used whatever demonic abilities he had to clean himself up in the moments he was turned around.

“You smell...nasty, nasty, much too nasty to eat…” he continued, sticking his tongue out as he said it, like some grossed-out little kid. “I’m waiting for that smell to go away. Then, we can play together a bit more.”

“Go away?” You questioned. The more you could find out about his motives, the better.

“I’ve been around long enough to see it happen a million times over.” He explained, striding his way back towards you. You were quite sure what he meant by that, but...it made you feel severely less anxious now that he had said he wasn’t going to eat you. Of course, you also had to trust that he wasn’t lying… “The love will fade. It always does. I’ve seen it happen. In their homes, on their dates...Sometimes over before it even started. And I’m sure the same will happen to you.” 

He was talking about love, again. He was waiting until your feelings of love faded, and then, you’d probably smell delicious to him. You’d probably smell divine.

He smiled, now standing in front of you once again. Fangs having disappeared, buck teeth prominent as he raised a hand to your head and gently patted the top of it. You felt your heart thump with what you presumed to be a jolt of fear.

“What’s brought you here, then? Just couldn’t wait to see your faaaavorite clown?” he mocked you, insinuating that he would’ve appeared to spook you again sometime later today. 

You swallowed as you answered. “Yes, actually...I’m here because I love you.”

The clown redacted his hand from your head, and for a flicker of a moment, you saw his eyes display shock. Then he furrowed his brows, as a scowl crawled its way onto his face. Then, he snickered.

“Aha! You really are a funny one, aren’t cha? Funny, funny, funny little human!”

“I...I mean it.” You say, clenching your hands into fists in your nervous state. You tried not to stutter as you spoke again. “I came here because I love you, and it was important that you knew that. I couldn't just...not tell you, with you being the way that you are.”

“You love Gray." he immediately shut you down. "And didn’t I tell you? He’s dead. Dead! Dead dead deaddeaddeaddead…..” he repeated to himself, so on and so forth, shaking his head from one side to the other as he continued. 

“Gray is you.” You answered, taking a deep breath before continuing. You couldn't look directly at him when you said it. Sure, maybe he wasn’t going to eat you, but you were never sure which breath was going to be your last. “And I love you.”

Carefully, you glanced back up at him. The monster’s scowl grew larger, his lips curving into an expression of disgust and anger. It seemed this little visit of yours was fun for him at first, but now you were really starting to get on his nerves. He swiftly bent himself to your level again, and through clenched teeth, eyes blazing into yours, he growled “Prove it.”

You took another deep breath as you shrugged your backpack off of you. Pennywise eyed you cautiously as you unzipped and reached into the front pocket of your backpack. You dug for a bit before you found it, and pulled it out.

You held it in front of his face. It was a balloon. A deflated, shrimpy, red balloon. It needed to be blown up again. Despite its now tiny size, the words “I ❤ DERRY” were still clearly visible across its surface.

It was the balloon he had given you, the day you first met him. He had tied it tightly around your wrist, and you carried it with you all day. It had been with you when you went to the carnival that night, and even when you had comforted Pennywise behind that lonesome tree. It had even been with you when he first sank his teeth into you, and then he had disappeared without a trace.

You had brought the balloon home that night. By the time you entered your front door, it had already been losing a bit of helium. Rather than stand upright, the balloon’s string formed a “U” shape as it now floated closer to your eye-level rather than tall above you. Once you were in your room, you had undone the knot at the end of the balloon, letting the last bits of helium escape. Despite the weird things that had happened that night, something within you just couldn’t bear to part with it. It was still a gift, and a reminder that someone wanted to be your friend. 

It felt silly, keeping an old balloon in your room like some sort of keepsake, and yet, you did it anyways. Some part of your soul just wanting to hold onto it a little longer. It had been there ever since. Well, until today, that is.

“I’ve held onto this the entire time.” you said, hoping you sounded confident. “You gave this to me, not Gray.”

Pennywise snatched the balloon from your hand, and pinched it between two of his gloved fingers. He stood up straighter as he eyed the balloon with one eye, and eyed you with the other, once again causing them to look lazy and distant.

“Why did you keep this?”

“I told you. It’s because I love you.” you answered.

He tossed the balloon back at you and you quickly caught it between your hands, nearly dropping your backpack in the process. 

Then there was silence. You stared at one another, just like the night before. It was hard to read the expression on his face, but you knew it wasn’t a good one. Then, he spoke.

“You’re funny.” he had said for the second time, now much more serious than before.

Before you could question what he meant by that, you were startled by the sound of music. You had thought that maybe the clown did that somehow, but then you realized it was coming from your backpack. Your phone was ringing.

You dug into your backpack, trying to find where the hell you put your phone. When you looked up for a second to make sure that the monster was still there, you cursed under your breath as you realized he had already disappeared again. You still had so much you needed to find out from him…You only hoped he believed what you said.

Eventually, you finally wrapped your hands around your phone and pulled it out.

You answered the phone, without even checking to see who had called you. You hardly ever received phone calls, since you didn’t really have friends here. Only Gray had called you, when “he” was “still around.” Normally you’d love to receive a phone call from anyone you knew, but this one left you feeling a bit mad, as it allowed the clown a chance out of your sight. Now he was who knows where, and probably prowling for another poor soul who’d be getting a missing poster soon. All because someone just had to choose today to call you, of all days! You were sure that anger was apparent in your voice as you asked,

“Hello? Who is it?”

Oh. Oh! ...Oh.

It was your boss. 

Y...you had work today…?

Ah, fuck.

You apologized as quickly as you could, spitting excuses left and right, before haphazardly grabbing your things and running out the door, nearly causing yourself another injury from this old house. You were so caught up in playing the hero of Derry that you had completely forgotten that you were also an adult, with a job and responsibilities. 

You raced down the sidewalk hoping that no one was too pissed at you, and also hoping that whoever that monster of a clown ran into wouldn’t be the next blood splatter across his clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello everyone! Woooo we're finally to double digit chapters! <3
> 
> I don't have much to talk about this time around, but I do so hope you enjoy this chapter, your support means everything to me! I hope the story is moving in an interesting direction, and that I can pace it in a way that's fun and entertaining! I think the hardest thing to get right is the pacing, I don't want it to move all too fast, but I don't wanna drag it out forever either! I hope I can find that happy middle ground!  
I hope this chapter is well enough paced, too! 
> 
> Again, thank you SO so much for your support! All your nice comments make me so happy! I'm sorry I don't really respond to them, I'm awfully shy, but please know I appreciate each and every one of them and am thanking you in spirit! They mean the world to me! :') Thank you so much for all your wonderful support, and I hope I can get another exciting chapter to you soon!<3


	11. The Murder

"Fired?! You can't fire me!" 

Well, you weren't fired. Not yet at least. But you were getting awfully close. 

You were sitting in the office of your boss, if one could even call it an office. A small room, tucked away in the back corner of the store. The walls were white once upon a time, but it appeared no one cared to clean this room as much as it needed to be cleaned, and the walls were becoming more yellowed and dust-covered by the day. Still white, but...not as white as they could be. The room reeked of...something stale. Not sure what, just...something. Like food was kept somewhere and never removed. You don’t know where he would’ve put that, though. The only things in this room were a shitty desk, a small buzzing fan, and one tall filing cabinet. Upon the desk sat a computer that was way too dated, and so big it almost looked like it could crush the weight of the flimsy desk beneath it. Hell, it wasn’t even a desk. Just a crummy wooden table. And the man sitting behind it wasn’t your “boss”, just your crummy fuckin’ manager.

And here he was, threatening to fire you, acting like you wouldn’t be completely left in the dust if he did.

You never took your boss--no, manager, that seriously. How could you? He was only slightly older than you were, even if he looked far beyond that. He had incredibly pale skin and short, blackish-brown hair that was already beginning to bald in the back. But that didn’t stop the hair from growing everywhere else on his body, it seemed. He had stubble that encircled his entire face, and the thickest sideburns you’d ever seen in real life. Whenever he had his sleeves rolled up(which was quite often in the summer), his forearms were covered in hair. He had square-framed glasses that rested upon his sweaty nose, and he always had a bit of chub on his stomach. He looked like the spitting image of every cartoon dad you’ve ever seen, but you were pretty sure he didn’t have any children. 

He was an okay guy. Wasn’t overly nice but wasn’t overly harsh either. You didn’t really have a super friendly relationship with him, but you never hated him either.

Until right now, that is.

You stood on the opposite side from where he sat at his “desk”. You had no choice but to stand, his chair was the only chair in the room. But even if it wasn’t, you were sure you’d be standing anyways just from the sheer rage you felt right now. How could he even think of firing you?!

He explained it to you casually, tone monotonous as he flipped through some probably useless files on his desk. You were just being so…”unprofessional lately” is what he had said. You pressed the security button for a supposed “false alarm” according to him that one night, and ever since you’ve just been doing “whatever”. Always calling out of work now, acting like it was just the same as skipping school...and today you didn’t even show up! The store was unattended for over 2 hours before you finally got here! He had said that if this behavior kept up, he’d have to let you go. He couldn’t have someone so “flaky” working at his “establishment”.

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing right now! Was he serious?! What, just because you had a few off days meant you weren’t doing your job well enough? Just because you forgot to show up to work one day out of the other 365? What about all your other coworkers, huh? Did they never take off days? Did they never forget to show up? They’re all still here, too! Why are you being singled out, huh?

Did your manager even get it? Would he even get it? That the whole reason you didn’t show up today was because you were too busy trying to protect everyone in this shit town from a killer clown on the loose? Here he was, threatening to fire you, meanwhile you were out trying to save the town and everyone in it, including his stupid self!

You were so frustrated at this, you just couldn’t believe someone who can’t even take care of his own office was threatening to fire YOU over being unprofessional. Your blood was boiling, but you knew you had to try and keep it contained, god forbid he decide to fire you for talking back or something else stupid. But boy, was it hard to hold back right now when all you wanted to do was shout at him--shout at everyone--about the fucking monster that lives in this town and how they should be helping you to get rid of it before it eats you all.

Your manager had been looking at you with tired eyes, as if he didn’t understand what the big deal was. But before you knew it, his expression began to shift. For a millisecond, it was shock, but then quickly changed itself to one of worry and concern. He slowly began to get up from his chair, as he said,

“Hey, are you fucking ok?”

You weren’t sure what the hell he was talking about. At first, you thought he had just read the anger on your face, but his reaction seemed way over-concerned for that to be the case. It wasn’t until you looked at where his eyes were looking that you noticed it. 

Your shoulder. You had been furiously scratching at it for who knows how long, and now it was bleeding. Your hand, still in a raked formation over your shoulder, blood staining your fingernails, and the stinging feeling of raw, itched skin introducing itself. The blood came down in trickles, fixing itself into small blotchy stains on your clothes. You hadn’t even realized you were bleeding until now. You hadn’t even realized you were scratching until now. You hadn’t noticed how itchy your shoulder felt until now. 

But you knew by now what that itching feeling meant.

You scanned the room quickly. Filing cabinet, fan, desk, computer… there was nowhere for him to hide, right? Those were the only things in this room. The only things except for...your manager.

No...no, he couldn’t be! Pennywise was at the house, right? He...had disappeared before you left, though...he wasn’t just playing mind games with you again too now, was he?

You felt yourself take a step back, gripping your shoulder carefully. You stared into his eyes, and although you saw nothing but confusion in them, you still asked,

“...Are you ‘It’?”

“Am I what?” he asked. He seemed more scared of you than you were of him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Nothing.” you said, shaking yourself out of it all.

You told your manager you were going to go clean yourself up and then make up for your lost shift. He didn’t seem to protest. Perhaps because he was too baffled to. If you didn’t seem like a crazy person before, well, you certainly did now. But if there’s one thing you knew for sure, it was that...it was here, now.

Somewhere.

You kept your guard up at all times, even when the itching stopped. Just because it was gone didn’t mean that he was just yet...You kept a careful eye out in the bathroom, washing the blood off yourself with wet paper towels and pink hand soap. You kept bouncing your eyes between wherever he might’ve tried to scare you, but you were met with nothing. There was no strange reflection in the mirror. The lights didn’t flicker. All the stall doors were open, and there was no one inside. Still, you kept that guardful energy up as you made up for the shift you were supposed to have this morning. But still, you were met with nothing. There were no strange noises in the shelves. There were no balloons under the counter. There were no strange customers, whose eyeballs would threaten to melt in front of you like last time. Nothing of the sort. And the itching had stopped completely by the time you were done. It had been over for a while, but you didn’t feel any safer.

Was he really just...not here after all?

You left the store that day, rubbing your shoulder. Even though you had cleaned all the blood off, it still felt weirdly sticky. Perhaps that’s because all the skin you scratched off still needed time to heal. It was still so bizarre to you that you could be scratching so deep into yourself without even realizing it. God, what was that clown doing to you?

The way back home wasn’t as scary as it had been just the night before. That’s not to say you were completely confident either, though. You still didn’t feel safe. You still felt anxious with each step. But you felt more...prepared. You were beginning to know what to expect. And, at the very least, you knew no matter what happened, you weren’t going to be eaten. Not any time soon, anyways.

You got back home safe and sound. No monsters going bump in the night. No clown perched upon the foot of your bed. No..nothing.

It was so nice, to be greeted with nothing for once. It was like you finally had a bit of room to breath. 

Exhausted from the day, you dropped everything and collapsed onto your bed. You didn’t even care that you were still wearing your outside clothes. You had too much on your mind to even worry about something as silly as that.

For starters, there was another obstacle in your way of your plan to distract the clown...work. You didn’t even consider it when you made your plan this morning. You couldn’t “play” with Pennywise, not all the time. You were an adult. You had work to go to. And even if you spent every minute away from work trying to distract the clown from eating more people, that’d still leave him with plenty of hours of your work-time to go absolutely haywire and eat whatever he could while you couldn’t stop him. If that was the case, would your efforts just end up being in vain after all? Would you really be saving anyone that way?

No...surely you’d be saving someone. Even if you couldn’t save all of them, the less “missing people” there were, the better. You at least had to try, even if it meant someone would still die in the process no matter what. Even if that person was you.

If you died, at least it’d finally have been with a sense of purpose.

You sighed heavily, rolling over on your bed and reaching for the backpack you had dropped down beside it. You dug your hand through, searching for...ah, there it is. The balloon.

You lied back on your bed, facing the ceiling and holding the deflated balloon up above you. It was so tiny. “I ❤ DERRY” was still visible, despite the dim lighting in your room. You sighed heavily.

How did things end up this way? 

You closed your eyes, sighing again as you let your arms rest beside you, balloon still gripped securely in one of your hands. And, before you knew it, you had dozed off into a strangely comfortable sleep. It was nice to be able to rest more in the mess of all this.

You took a shower when you awoke the next morning, before even having something to eat. Because you had slept in your day clothes last night, and boy did it feel gross when you woke up that morning. 

Unfortunately, you did have to rush it a bit. You remembered this time that you did, in fact, have work today. And your dumb manager probably wouldn’t be happy if you showed up late considering the conversation you had yesterday. So you showered as quickly as you could, dried yourself as quickly as you could, and then got changed and headed out the door. You didn’t have much time to make breakfast for yourself, but that was fine. You’d just snag something at work, some energy bar or something or other. But you’d pay for it, this time, just in case your manager noticed. Then after that was all settled, you’d decide what you’d do about the clown...

You walked to your store, planning your day. You’d go to work, and then what? The second you got out, maybe you’d head back to the Neibolt House again. It seemed to work last time, and you could probably count on the fact he wouldn’t eat you(you hoped). Maybe you could get more information out of him. Maybe you could find out a weakness? You weren’t even sure if one existed, but if one did, then…

Hey, wait, what the fuck?

As you approached your store, you noticed a fucking crowd of police cars surronding the outside. Tons of officers stood around, mumbling to one another, and people on the sidewalk had begun to form a crowd to see what was the matter. It seemed like no one was getting in through all of that, though. 

You spotted J outside, too. Was she working this morning also? You didn’t remember, but that didn’t seem to matter right now. You immediately noticed she was wearing a blanket, the kind that police give to comfort people...oh boy. As you approached her, you noticed how...out of it she was. She was smoking a cigarette between her trembling fingers, and she had a vacant, spaced out look in her eyes. Not very “J” at all. You raised your hand towards her as to not startle her, but she jumped anyways. This wasn’t good.

“Hey...what happened?” you asked, trying to speak as softly as you could manage.

She didn’t speak for a few seconds. You began to wonder if what happened traumatized her to the point of being non-verbal, but she did speak after a moment. It felt as if she had to push the words out of her throat.

“I-It’s fucked, man…” she shivered, wrapping herself tighter in the blanket. Her voice cracked as if she were about to cry. “I-It’s so FUCKED!”

Despite her sudden yell, no one really seemed to turn their heads to her. It appears they were all caught up with whatever had happened inside. J continued, her hands shaking more with each word.

“T-t-they fuckin’, tore him open...he’s everywhere! I j-just wanted to ask him a question, yeah? Yeah?” she continued “S-s-so I opened the door to the old crusty office, right? R-right? And it was just… Red...Red, red, red, red everywhere!” She began to cry now, recalling the memory.

Even without saying his name, you knew who she was talking about. 

Your manager.

That itching feeling you had gotten yesterday…

It went after him, not you.

You felt awful, having behaved the way you did yesterday. Sure, you weren’t on the best of terms with him, but you would’ve never wished him to die. Of course you wouldn’t have! He...he was just a guy! Even if he did decide to fire you in the end, you still never would’ve wished something like that on him! If you would’ve known he’d have been the next to go, you wouldn’t have snapped at him the way you did. Maybe, if you knew, you even could’ve saved him...but no, no, you couldn’t think like that. Not now. You wouldn’t even know how you could’ve saved him, especially when you never even saw the clown there to begin with. You...you thought he was going to try to scare you, not...no, damn it. It was no use. You knew this by now, anyways. The clown takes what he wants, when he wants to. You could try, and you could save some of them, but…

You’d never be able to save them all.

You knew that, and so did he.

...Ugh.

You hated how you were getting used to this, even if only a bit.

To have to expect it was terrible enough in itself.

You told J that it was okay, it was alright, tried to calm her to the best of your ability. But you knew you couldn’t stay here. If you did, some of those boys in blue would start asking you questions, most certainly. And you didn’t have time for that. Not right now, anyways. Besides, they’d never find the REAL culprit behind this.

But you knew exactly where he hides.

After J had calmed herself a considerable amount, you took the opportunity to slink away, all the way down the street, and out of sight from the store. Looks like you weren’t working today.

The house looked as old and grungy as ever as you approached it. Standing out here just yesterday, you were so...terrified. But this time, you felt...strange. You were angry, but you knew you couldn’t snap at him. You were shocked, but you knew you had no right to be by now. You were heartbroken, but you knew there was nothing you could do about it now. But something in you told you that you wouldn’t be able to just go about your day without confronting him about what happened. Because if you wouldn’t confront him, hell, no one else would. You didn’t know exactly what you’d even do once you were face to face with him, but...maybe he’d at least be willing to tell you something. At least an explanation for why, if you were able to get it out of him. Why him, your manager, of all people? And...why did he apparently leave the body, this time, if every other victim of his was a missing person?

You swung open the creaky door once again, wondering how it hadn’t fallen off its hinges by now by the sound it made. The house looked as it always did inside as well. Nothing off...yet. You took a few steps into the house, and listened closely. 

Quiet as ever.

So you broke the silence.

“What was that about, huh?!” You called out into the house, cupping your hands around your mouth for more volume.

No answer.

You waited a few seconds, before walking forward and trying again.

“You think that was funny?!” You screamed out, checking throughout the rooms, half-expecting for him to jumpscare you. Crash down from the ceiling or pop out of some wardrobe...

No answer.

“Where are you?!” You explored parts of the house you hadn’t yet had a chance to. The upstairs, while still large, was also empty. A mattress, some dressers, vanities, bathrooms...but no clown.

A door on the lower floor led to what seemed to be a small basement. The idea of going into a dank basement like this was less than desirable, especially considering the circumstances, but...you had to make sure he wasn’t here.

There wasn’t much to this room, though. It was dirty, and dusty, and the only thing of note was that there seemed to be...a small well, in the middle of it. 

Here?

You creeped over and carefully looked down into it, only to be met with an abyss of darkness. There was no way of telling how deep it went. What was this even doing in the house? You gripped the edge of it, god forbid the clown sneak up behind you and push you in.

“HELLO?” You called into it, your voice echoing all the way down.

No answer.

You left the basement quickly.

You checked every nook and cranny of this old forgotten house, but eventually, it seemed like you had no choice but to give up.

He just...wasn’t here.

And if he was, well…

...he didn’t want to see you right now, apparently.

But you didn’t think that was the case.

The house...truly felt empty, this time around.

You sighed, leaving with no answers to any of it, and a mind heavy with how to process all of it.

Eventually, you were called in again to be interviewed by police. You were hoping you could avoid this, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to. It...was your manager that died, after all. 

There wasn’t much to say. It’s not like you did it, after all. So, you just did what they asked, and answered honestly. You told them about everything, except for Pennywise, of course. That you came in late to work, worked anyways, and then left. You weren’t all that worried, knowing who his real killer was. You knew it wasn’t you or any of your coworkers that did this. You were sure that just like Pennywise’s first visit to your workplace, it’d all blow over and your coworkers wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. The police would just add it to their list of forever-unsolved cases, and then no one would even think about it again.

What a sad way to go.

And eventually, the day drew to a close once again, as all days do. When you got home that night, you kept your guard up for Pennywise, sure that he would come here tonight. He left you alone all day, after all. Surely he was building up to something bigger, then.

But your own house seemed...empty, too. Except for you in it, of course.

You really felt like you were all alone this time. Your shoulder didn’t feel the slightest itch. 

Thinking that you were safe, for now...you decided to get changed into something comfier. What else was there to do now? It was a long day, and was going to be a long week...so you’d appreciate all the rest you could get. 

...Huh?

That’s weird.

Something fell out of your pocket.

A crumpled piece of paper…

You didn’t put it there. 

Hesitantly, you bent over and lifted it off the ground. You cautiously unfolded it, not knowing what to expect when you did.

All you were greeted with was 2 words, written in what looked to be some sort of red, dried markings, saying simply, 

“LEAVE DERRY.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand here we go again!! Updated a bit earlier tonight! I apologize that Penny isn't really *present* present that much this chapter, but I promise he's in the next chapter(kinda--you'll see! I think it'll satisfy! Trust me!) and i'm planning for him to be in the one after too!! I really like the way this story is heading and I hope I can continue to deliver a fun and exciting story!! :D
> 
> I don't have all that much to say this time again, but thank you all SO much for your wonderful support!! It means so so much to me! <3 I honestly wasn't sure how much of this I was going to make when I started, but I'm really glad I did start because it turned into such a fun exercise and an escape from reality and I'm glad I decided to share it with you all! Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter and that the rest of your week is absolutely wonderful!<3


	12. The Messenger

You didn’t get hit by a truck this morning.

That’s right.

You did not, in fact, get hit by a truck this morning.

And by all means, you should have.

Given what had happened.

You were halfway across the crosswalk when a truck came out of nowhere, seemingly, and nearly sent you flying down the street. It all happened so quickly, you didn’t even have time to react. All you could do was close your eyes and brace for impact.

But it didn’t happen.

When you opened your eyes again, you were on the sidewalk, and the truck was nowhere in sight.

You had wondered if it was just another illusion or…

Something else.

Anyways,

It’s been about a week since the “incident” at your workplace. Maybe a little over. Police investigation is still underway, and it didn’t look like your sorry little convenience store would be open again anytime soon.

And that meant that you were out of a job.

You were always careful with your money, and made sure to save up in case something like this happened. You’d be okay for a while, but not forever, of course. So, that meant spending your mornings with the newspaper, looking for any job openings you could find. Lots of them didn’t apply to you, but hell, you’d apply for anything if it meant not having to worry about being broke. And on top of figuring out what the hell you were going to be doing with work, you also had that clown to worry about…

He had been fairly quiet, though. Of course, that still left you worried, who knows what he was up to? Although he was sure to show his face once or twice. Didn’t really say much when he did, but you knew he was there. You swear you once saw a pair of silvery-blue eyes glisten from a sewer drain as you walked to a job interview, but by the time you got closer, there was nothing to be seen. 

There was a balloon the other day, too. Completely unaccompanied. A bright red balloon, like the one he had given you way, way back. This one didn’t have any writing on it, though. Just a balloon. It was tied to the branch of a lone tree, and waved ominously in the wind. It looked like it was much to high for someone to tie to the branch without having to climb the tree first. Curious, you had made your way over, hoping that maybe you could see if there was anything else suspicious about it… but by the time you were finally under the tree, the balloon had been popped by a territorial bird, fed up with it being so close to its nest. 

And it’s not as if you didn’t look for the clown. Hell, your whole goal was trying to distract him. But perhaps he caught on? Because suddenly, he wanted almost nothing to do with you. He kept his distance considerably. Maybe he was hoping that all that “love” would wear quicker if he did. Still, you persisted. He wasn’t going to eat you that easily, after all!

A few mornings, you even sat in the Neibolt House while you looked for job advertisements. Maybe he’d show up and scare you, and then you’d feel secure in knowing that while he was with you, he wasn’t out there, looking for something to eat.

And you think he did sit there with you as you browsed for jobs, at least once. 

You were on the old dusty couch, trying your best not to sneeze. You were reclined against one of the arms, backpack resting on the floor besides you. You had a pen in hand, and the newspaper opened wide, as it rested on one of your legs. You’d read through the job listings and circled anything you thought you could look into more. You had figured, like all the other times since you started coming here, that the clown wasn’t about. But maybe he’d come back if he sensed you here. Maybe not the best plan, but you couldn’t exactly go on a wild goose hunt for him every day...so staying here was your best bet, it seemed.

And he did show up. You think.

Just not as the clown, maybe, but he was there. You’re almost certain.

When you skimmed the listings, trying to see what you’d be able to do, you heard a strange noise in an otherwise empty house. It got closer, and you almost prepared yourself to run if you had to...until it entered the room you were in, and you saw what it was. 

A model car. 

A small little model car, that had rolled its way into the room. You looked around some, expecting Pennywise to follow behind...but he didn’t. It was just the car. Now sitting on the floor, patiently, as if waiting for you to pick it up.

...You didn’t want to fall into some kind of trap, though, if this was really the case. 

So you let it sit there, and you turned your attention back to the paper. Every few minutes, you’d fold the paper over and look, to make sure it was still there. And it was. Just sitting with you. Not doing anything. So...you let it sit. But once you folded the paper and decided you’d have enough of looking through the listings, the tiny little car was gone, suddenly and without a sound.

And, now, it’s today. And the clown hasn’t shown himself since then, if that was really him to begin with. 

And you were almost hit by a truck this morning. 

But you weren’t.

And you were still waiting for you heart to calm down as you continued to walk. You weren’t able to take a breather after that terrifying ideal, unfortunately. You had a job interview to get to. As if you didn’t have enough things weighing heavily on your mind…

Because there was also...that note. You kept it ever since you found it, but since the monster didn’t want to play recently, you were never able to ask him about it. 

“LEAVE DERRY.”

What the hell was that all about? Pennywise had to have left that for you, right? But...didn’t he want you to stay? He wanted to eat you, right? That’s why he was waiting for any love you felt to fade...because he wanted to eat you. So, if that was the case, why would he want you to leave? It just...didn’t make sense to you. 

Unfortunately, it seemed like you’d have to wait for an answer. And even if you wanted to leave, you couldn’t. Not while in your financial situation, and...not while he was still around. 

Eventually, mind abuzz over that note and the terrifying ideal you endured this morning, you made it to the place you were hoping to get a job at.

Funnily enough, it was the therapy office. You weren't trying to get hired as a therapist though! Lord knows you weren't in any place to be helping others with their mental state right now, considering how yours was currently. But they had an opening for another secretary, you figured you could do that well enough! It was just filing and stuff, right? 

You entered into the waiting room--it was just as bright as you remember it. The chairs were mostly empty, just like last time--except for two people. Honestly, it was a bit strange to you. So many people had gone missing, right? Certainly with all the missing people, more people would be coming here for emotional support? Perhaps the stigma against going to therapy was just too high. Or, maybe people had convinced themselves they didn’t need it, and that everything was fine...

There were only two others in the room besides you. One was a woman, sitting in one of the chairs. It looked like she brought her own book to read, and was completely slumped over top of it. You almost had the urge to walk over and straighten her back out--because that sitting position did NOT look comfortable and had to be hurting something.

The other was a man. He seemed older than you--like your old managers age, maybe a bit older than that--but he looked pretty good for it. He was tall, with only slightly messy stubble, and his hair looked well-cared for. His clothes were neat, though they seemed a bit warm for the current state of the weather. The only thing was that his face, especially his eyes, looked SO, so tired...It reminded you of when you stayed awake for about two days, back when the clown was much more active in your life. His eyes were just as bloodshot, it seemed. But all in all, he was a pretty well-together-looking guy. 

Except he was kinda giving you the stink eye right now. 

He was looking at his phone to hide it, but it wasn't hard to tell he was eyeing you down. You were pretty sure you'd never seen this man in your life before, so you don't know what you did to make him look at you...like that. Maybe his appointment was late? 

Whatever the reason, you tried your best to ignore him as you continued to the front desk to get that interview out of the way. 

And you think your interview went well! It was hard to be nervous over something as small as an interview now with all the other shit you've been going through. Sitting and talking to someone was the absolute least of your worries. You listed off your strong points, and the interviewer seemed to like you, so all seemed to be going well! You left the office feeling confident in your performance, and nearly certain you got the job. 

But a few steps down the sidewalk, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning around, you saw that it was the man from earlier, who had been waiting in the office. The same man who had been glaring at you...now you felt nervous.

Before even introducing himself or asking for your name, he said,

"I need to talk to you." 

"Me?" you responded, caught off guard by the whole situation. You looked around you both. There were plenty of people walking the sidewalk today, so you didn't feel too worried about him pulling anything funny. Still, though…

"Yeah, you." he continued. His voice sounded...stern. As if he was scolding you. 

You felt yourself gulp as you felt a flare of itchiness in your shoulder. For a second, just like with Samir, you thought this man might've been the clown. He wouldn't try to pull something with all these people around, would he? But, then why was--

"DARLING! There you are! I'd been looking all over for you!"

Oh, god, really? 

You and the man both looked over to see none other than Gray--yes, Robert Gray--at the end of the sidewalk. What the hell was this about?

The strange man turned you back around to face him, and quickly whispered a demand, 

“Meet me under the Bunyan statue at 2. It’s the park. It’ll be crowded, I promise I won’t do anything weird, I just--...be there, okay?”

And before you could even respond, he was off walking in the other direction. 

And before you could turn around fully or even process what was happening, Gray--er, Pennywise--uh, whatever ‘IT’ was, was upon you. He had wrapped his arms around you, caging you in a tight embrace as he smashed his lips against your cheek, planting kiss after kiss until you pushed him off of you. You didn’t push too hard, though. There were people on the sidewalk, and you didn’t want to make a scene… Although, a few people were already staring by the looks of it. It didn’t help that he called out to you with “DARLING!” earlier.

“What the hell are you doing?” You asked him, quiet enough as to not turn any more heads. You felt a bit more confident talking to him with all these other people around you. If he was disguising himself like this, then surely it meant he wasn't going to pull anything. Not now.

Seeing Gray after you thought he was long gone, you almost thought you would’ve cried again. But you didn’t. Seeing him now didn’t feel quite as...emotional, anymore. Perhaps it had finally settled with you who he really was. 

“What’s wrong?” He smiled. There was definitely something up his sleeve. He may not have been doing anything now, but he was definitely plotting to do something. Just the thought of him planning something nasty was enough to make you sick. “I can’t come to see you in public? Are you embarraaaaaaaassed by me~?” he sung, making fake puppy-dog eyes as he did so.

You weren’t impressed. You crossed your arms and shifted your hips as you came back at him with “I thought you said Gray was dead?”

“Oh, he is!” He perked up, giving you a wink. “Just trying to prove a point, that’s all.”

Well, whatever point he was trying to prove, it was a stupid one. But in a weird way, you were glad to see him. One, because he had been leaving you alone so often. It was nice to see that his attention had shifted back onto you. You worried about what he was planning in the moments he was away. And two, because being around you meant that he wasn’t eating other people in this moment. Everyone had no idea how lucky they were right now that the monster of their town was doing nothing more than simply standing in front of you. Currently harmless.

“I want to talk to you.” You told him. It gave you a sense of deja vu. Like you were mimicking the interaction you had with the man before you just now.

“Talk away, dear.” He grinned, leaning forward slightly. “I’m all ears.”

You grabbed him by the wrist to ensure he was following you, and brought him over to the closest bench you could sit down at. He was acting like a complete goofball, though. When you sat down, he started tapping his feet against the ground, and twiddling his thumbs together. He even rested his head against yours as you dug into your pockets, looking for what you had to show him. It was almost hard to believe that this person was some kind of man-eating monster. Maybe he was just doing it to mock you.

Soon enough you found it. The note that read “LEAVE DERRY” in ominous red letters. You kept it on you, to remind you to ask him about it whenever you next got the chance. And, well, that chance was now.

“What’s this about?” you asked him, as he took the note between his fingers. He held it far away from himself at first, arms completely outstretched. Then, he slowly brought it closer to his face, squinting the closer he looked at it. And at last, he finally spoke,

“No idea!” he said cheerily, now holding the paper a proper distance away from himself as he turned to you. “You think I wrote that?”

“I...don’t see who else could have.” you responded, utterly confused.

Was he...trying to pull one over on you? I mean, of course, to you, it didn’t make sense that the clown would want you to leave. He had said he wanted to eat you after all. But you never knew his methods completely. Was he serious in saying he didn’t write this for you? Because, well, if he didn’t then...who did?

“Well, it wasn’t me.” he tilted his head, still smiling. “But I can tell you’re disappointed. I’ll have to write you my own love note some time, then!” he joked, before going to put the note back into his own pocket.

You reached over to grab his arm and stop him. “Wait, give it back, then. I need to find out who did write it, if you’re not just tricking me.”

“Why?” he asked, the smile fading. His other arm snuck over to yours, and his fingers wrapped tightly around your own wrist. His voice was no longer sing-song-like and pleasant. It had turned cold and threatening, much quicker than you had anticipated. “You’re not actually planning on leaving, are you?”

There was...something in the way he said it. The way he looked at you when he did. The way his brows furrowed. The tone of his voice. The grip he had on you. It sounded scary, absolutely, but it also sounded...scared. Like he was worried, almost, that you were actually going to leave. Perhaps that was because he was so scared of the tasty meal he had been preparing all going to waste... 

You pulled your arms away from him, but plucked the note out from his fingers as you did so, putting it back into your own pocket. 

“No, I’m not leaving.” You reassured him, trying to keep things lighthearted. You were still in public, after all… “I don’t make the kind of money to afford that, anyways.”

He smiled again, like all the worry and coldness had been washed from his face, leaving you with the seemingly innocent and warm expression of someone who totally, definitely, without a doubt, never killed anyone before. 

“Well, I can’t stay for too long, sweetheart.” He teased as he stood up off the bench, stretching his legs. “I’ve got lunch to catch.”

“What?! No!” You said, standing up and grabbing him by the hand this time. “I’ve still got more I want to talk about!”

“Sorry, my dear, it’ll have to wait until next time.” he smiled, using his finger to tap your nose, just like he had the last time you were really able to talk to him.

Suddenly, he grabbed your hand in return. And in one swift motion, he spun you around like you had just been dancing. And by the time you stopped spinning, he was already out of sight.

Damn it.

You took out the paper again. “LEAVE DERRY”. He...he didn’t give this to you? Really? Then who did? It seems like the only other person who might’ve given you this was--....well, there was only one way to find out.

2 o’clock wasn’t that far away. Something strange was afoot, and you were determined to learn more.

The man was under the statue, just like he said he would be. It was almost scary, seeing him there, waiting in the shadows. Despite all the people and children around, he was still smoking a cigarette in an otherwise nice park with fresh air. You approached him carefully, and he acknowledged you as you did. He offered you a cigarette too, but you refused. You asked if you could at least sit somewhere a little less...hidden. He complied. You walked out from the shadows of the statue and sat together on a sunny park bench.

“Why haven’t you left yet?” Was the first thing he said to you once you sat down. His voice was hoarse from smoking. “You seem like a smart kid, so I don’t know why you haven’t left yet.”

“...Did you write me this?” you responded, taking out the note once again, now very glad that you didn’t let Gray/Pennywise/Whoever take it earlier. It seemed like this was your mysterious sender after all. 

“Yeah.” he said, taking a long drag of the cigarette. “Wasn’t sure when I’d next get to see you, so I figured it would be best to leave you the message as soon as I could. I apologize if it startled you. I didn't have much time to write much else.”

"How--when did you do that?”

“Convenience store. Last week. When you were talking to that little blonde friend of yours--the one who was all shaken up.” His voice kept the same tone the entire time. It was a strange tone...jaded. As if he had been through this all before.

That’s when he did it? He came right up to you and left you a note and you...didn’t even notice? To be fair, you did have a lot on your mind when you were comforting J but...was he really that sneaky? You knew there was a crowd there, but still, did he really get that close to you to leave you a note and no one said anything? You didn’t even see him, or feel him behind you... Well, you guessed it didn’t matter now. You found out who gave it to you, that was the important thing. 

You held your hand out and introduced yourself, not thinking him to be someone truly dangerous. He seemed to have no problem shaking it, as he returned the favor.

“I’m Ryder.” he said, blowing smoke out once again. “Nice to formally meet you.”

"Nice to f--ok, wait. hold on. First things first--why did you leave me this, then?” you asked, referring to the note. 

“Because you need to leave.” he frowned, his face contorting itself into one of annoyance, like it was an obvious answer. He gestured to nowhere in particular as he followed it up with “Or else that thing’s gonna eat you.”

Whoa.

Whoa whoa whoa.

What?

“That thing?” you questioned, feeling your body stiffen. You thought you were the only one who knew about… 

“You...know about ‘IT’?” You said in a whisper to him.

“Yeah. And I know that you know about ‘IT’, too.” He stated, talking about this like it was normal. Still incredibly serious, but as if a monster eating the town wasn’t the most unbelievable thing in the world. Talking like this wasn't the first man-eating clown he's come across “Because it talks about you.”

“It...what?”

“It talks about you. Whenever I see it, it mentions you. And I knew it was you--had to be you-- from the way it described you.”

“It talks about me?” you asked. You felt your chest tighten hearing that. You weren’t sure how to feel.

“It really wants you.” Ryder coughed, but took another drag of his cigarette anyways. “Says that I’m almost as bad as you, but you’re way worse. Heh.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. That you weren’t the only one going through this. That he wasn’t just haunting you. He haunted others, too. You weren’t alone in this. Part of that made you feel relieved, but another part of it made you feel...something else.

“H...How did you meet it?” You asked.

But you weren’t ready for the answer.

For he paused in the middle of another drag, his eyes seeming to darken somehow. He looked off into the distance, and his shoulders dropped. Solemnly, he confessed,

“It took my daughter.”

You raised a hand to cover your mouth as you felt your heart sink into your stomach. Those four words filled you with dread as soon as the sound reached your ears. Oh, god, how horrible that must’ve been. You weren’t even sure what to say. What could you say? You don’t think that any words would be enough to convey how truly sorry you felt for him right now. All you could do was sit beside him, wondering how he had the strength to not be having a complete breakdown right now. He looked like he wanted to.

“She told me there was a monster under the bed.” He continued, and laughed. It was the saddest laugh you ever heard in your life. The laugh someone gives when they have nothing left to lose. “I didn’t believe her.”

You still didn’t say anything. There just wasn’t anything you could’ve said that would’ve been right in this moment. But despite what he just told you, he seemed to have no problem continuing. 

“I saw it’s face, and that’s… also how I knew you were in trouble, too.”

“P...pardon me?” You finally managed to squeak out.

“Because I saw it with you at the carnival.”

He...what? You were taken aback. You thought you were the only one who saw the clown back then. You thought you were the only one who saw him at all. 

“You were the kid by that tree, right? Told me you were on a smoking break?”

Holy shit. 

You flashbacked to that day. That night, rather. Pennywise had hugged you tightly, and then took a bite of your shoulder. But before anything could progress any further, you were taken out of it by someone from the sidelines asking if you were alright over there. Someone had scared Pennywise off, and potentially saved your life. That guy...that guy was this guy?

“I thought I had seen someone else with you, but figured I’d just imagined it when you were the only one after all... I guess not.” he shrugged, after you asked him about it.

“I...wow.” You said, trying to process all of this information. If he hadn’t stepped in just then that night, maybe Pennywise would’ve taken more than just a small bite out of you. Maybe you wouldn’t be here right now. “I...I think I owe you a thank you, then.”

“What for?”

“I think if you weren’t there, he might’ve eaten me.” You admitted to him. “You saved me, in a way.”

“He ate my daughter a few days later.” 

And the atmosphere returned to being tense. You felt awful, knowing how Ryder was introduced to this nightmare. You even started to wonder if Pennywise did it on purpose. As some sort of sick revenge for interrupting his meal the first time. A life for a life maybe? You wouldn’t put it past him, knowing how much fun he seemed to have with this whole thing. There was nothing he liked to play with more than with your lives. 

“That’s why you have to leave. Because he wants you, now. And I ain’t letting him have another kid.” he told you, returning to his cigarette. Each puff seemed to calm him some.

You wondered if he had any idea how many other people it’s probably eaten since then. You thought it might not be a good idea to tell him that it's probably gotten countless others by now. You're not sure if you even had the heart. 

“With all due respect, Ryder...I feel the same way.” You told him. “I...I’ve also been trying to stop it. That’s why I can’t leave. I don’t want anymore kids to die, either.”

He eyed you up and down once, and took a long pause. After a moment, he asked, 

“Yeah? What’s your plan, then?”

“I...I want to kill it, eventually.” The words felt weird as they left your mouth. They felt wrong, somehow, even if you couldn’t pinpoint why. 

“Alright, then, let’s kill it.” he said.

“H...huh?”

“Let’s kill it, you and me. I don’t have a problem with it. So, let’s do it. 2-on-1.”

"I have to tell you, sir…" you started. "I...don't even know if it has any weaknesses. I've encountered it more than once, but each time it does something new. I want to stop it, but, I'm not entirely sure there's a way…" 

"Everything has a weakness. Don't worry kid--you an' I'll find it, even if it takes us all summer." 

“A...Alright, then!” You agreed with him. He just spoke with so much confidence when he did, that it was hard not to agree. 

It was weird, having just met Ryder, but you felt a boost of confidence in yourself. Now that someone was on your side, it felt like maybe you were finally getting somewhere! Maybe mission impossible wouldn’t be so impossible after all! So...why did it still feel so weird? So...not quite right?

The two of you exchanged phone numbers to keep in touch, strategize plans more and share information and whatever else, and then he said he had to be on his way. So you both got up from the bench, but before he left, you asked,

“Ah, wait!” You called over to him. He turned to face you. His face seemed a bit...lighter, now. A bit happier. Hopeful.

“Is there anything else I should know?”

“...Yeah.” He smirked, letting out a small chuckle as he did. “Tell your boyfriend I think he’s a real pretty boy.”

...Who?

..OH!

He was referring to Gray, back when you were on the sidewalk, and Gray had called you ‘darling’.

...Oh. 

He didn’t know that Gray was actually…

…

..You told Ryder that you’d be sure to tell your boyfriend next time you saw him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand here we are! 
> 
> I know 'IT' wasn't around an abundance in this chapter but I'm gonna have him be the focus next chapter! I just dont wanna rush into it all too quickly, yknow? Murder clowns don't exactly rush into romance, or so I've heard... 
> 
> I hope you all like Ryder, though I promise he won't overshadow anything too much! Originally, I played around with the idea of Ryder's character possibly being Mike Hanlon or Bill Denbrough, but I thought if I added the Losers, it might complicate things and also might detract too much from any budding romance and stuff! I felt like Ryder would be an original character who would suit the role better, maybe even serve as a good foil? Again though, I'm not gonna have him overshadow the reader or Pennywise! The next chapter will definitely be focused around those two, and im hoping the chapter after that will also prove that way too!
> 
> I'm excited for you all to see what I have planned! Hehe.
> 
> Once again, many thanks for all the kudos, comments, bookmarks, and just support in general! It makes me so happy to know others enjoy something I enjoy creating! I hope I can continue to deliver a great story! :')
> 
> As always, I hope your weekend/week goes by wonderfully, and that my next chapter is worth the wait!<3


	13. The Interview

"You killed his daughter." you told him, as he sat on one of the high steps of the old house, looking down at you. He was the clown again. 

"Kill is a strong word, wouldn't you say?" Pennywise tilted his head ever so slightly, as if he was allowed to play innocent. "I'm simply doing what aaaaaaany living creature does to survive. Why, I'm just eating." 

And you know something? He did have a point. He was eating. The same way humans eat cows and chickens and pigs all without a second thought. The missing people were never found when they disappeared, right? He didn't waste a single scrap of his victims(Well, except your manager, which you still had questions about…). It was, in its own sick way, a valid excuse. And perhaps one you might've accepted if he didn't have so much god damn fun playing with his food. 

You were in the old Neibolt House once again, and to your disappointment or delight(you're not entirely sure which) Pennywise was here this time. And he seemed more than eager to play with you. 

It was a bit strange, knowing how it could change its form to be whatever it wanted. And yet, he always seemed to go back to the clown…Perhaps even demons have their favorites. 

It was interesting to note how his personality changed when he changed, too. Almost like he wasn’t simply donning a costume, but donning a whole new persona as well. Some creatures, like that one wicked banshee he had become, seemed to have no personality whatsoever. Maybe you just hadn't been around them enough to find out…

Then there was Gray. It had said that Gray was a performance a while ago...and honestly, you could see that now. Because of how differently Gray and Pennywise behaved. Gray was a normal human--for the most part. You’d even go as far as to say he was an average joe. He spoke like a human, and walked like a human, and you could even shake his hand and look into his eyes and feel that he was nothing more than a person, just like you. 

Pennywise wasn't like that at all. Pennywise acted exactly as he appeared...like a clown. Like a monster of a clown. His movements were either slow and calculated, or highly exaggerated and unpredictable. His pattern of speech was his own, a unique style of talking you had yet to see anyone else come close to. On top of it all, he had these...unique little quirks to him. Like the way his eye would sometimes go a little lazy. Like the way he would jingle the bells on his suit on purpose, because he wanted to hear the sound. Like the way he would tilt his head like a curious little puppy, waiting to hear what you would say next. 

This was it's preferred form, and so that was how it probably felt most natural.

And, in a strange way, perhaps it was no different from humans in that sense. Humans were always putting on performances in their own lives...could you really blame the monster for doing the same? 

"Why humans, then?" you asked him, in response to his defense that he was ‘just eating’. "Humans already eat meat themselves. Cows, deer, pigs...We have plenty of those that you could be eating, so why come after us?" 

"She was so tasty…" he whispered, loud enough for you to hear, and completely ignoring your question. "So, so tasty...tasty, tasty, tasty fear…" 

You watched as Pennywise slowly and unnaturally stood up from the steps, and began to creak his way down towards you. Step by step...You didn't move from your spot, even though you felt tempted to back away. 

"Do you want to taste it, too?" He asked, a wicked grin spreading across his painted face as he approached you, closer and closer. "Do you want to taste how delicious she was?" 

You didn't have time to answer, because before you knew it, his arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, and he held you close against himself. You could practically smell all the grime on that old costume of his. Then, he began to make a lot of retching noises over you, causing your face to twitch in disgust. He acted as if he was going to throw her up all over you.

But you weren't going to be scared. You weren't even going to be grossed out. Because that's what he wanted to happen, and you wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. So instead, you wrapped your arms against him in return, and shoved the side of your face into his frilly, dusty costume. You hugged him back, just as he had hugged you.. 

He paused, as if he was confused. But he still held you there for a few seconds. Just you and a monster, hugging one another in the town's old haunted house. Silently. 

After a few moments, he untangled his arms from you, slowly moving into a squatting-formation, so that he was no longer towering above you. He was closer to your eye level now. He used one hand to grab your shoulder, and slowly brought his face over to your neck. He sniffed it, and you could feel every breath on your skin as he did.

"...That's okay. You...You will be so, so, so much tastier." 

And then he released you, and stood up again. 

But you weren't about to let him disappear on you again. 

You grabbed him by the arm, just like last time. This time you practically clung yourself to it, so that he couldn't get far without you. You heard a light growl from him as you did so. 

"You can't leave just yet. I'll...be lonely if you do." you lied. Kinda. Sorta. It was the only thing you could think to say at the moment.

You'd always been kinda lonely in Derry. And since you were still waiting on a call back for the secretary job,that meant you had nowhere to be right now. You quite literally had nothing to do with your day, other than being here. So, in a way, you probably would feel a little lonely without anyone to talk to. 

"Why not be with your little pal Ryder, then?" he growled, but with a smile on his face. He used his free hand to slowly pry you off of him. "Since you seem to enjoy talking about him and his once little girl, oh, so, so, so much!" 

"...He said you talk about me." You said, hoping that anything you did say would make him stay this time. 

And that...seemed to work. It caught his attention at least. For the smile he wore had now disappeared from his face, and he was looking at you intently. He didn't say a word. 

"...Do you talk about me?" 

You reached out to grab his hand once again, even though he had pried you off the first time, but he pulled himself away before you even got the chance. 

This time, HE was the one taking careful steps backwards from you. Like what you had just said was some kind of threat towards him, and an intimidating one at that. You were almost shocked. Did he expect you to never find out?

Soon enough, however, his smile returned. It seemed...different, this time, though. Unnatural. Looked...forced, maybe. 

"How can I resist?" he laughed out, sounding just like a classic circus clown when he did. "Very, veeeeery few times have I had been able to play this long with someone…" 

Behaving carefully, you took a single step towards him. It made no sense for him to have backed away from you so. He was the one with pointed claws and razor sharp teeth and could seemingly transform into whatever horrific beast he wanted. Your only defense was a dingy old umbrella hooked to your backpack and the fact that you stunk(according to him). 

"What do you say about me?" 

He didn't answer you. His smile weirdly...morphed itself into some kind of snarl. Like he was hoping you would've dropped it after the first question. It...might not have been a smart idea to piss him off so much, especially in his own territory. Hoping that you could eventually get an answer for it later, you decided to change the topic.

"Hey...uh...You...you did kill my manager, right?" you asked, awkwardly scratching the back of your head, hoping that he would drop it the same as you just did. 

That seemed to be what he wanted to hear. When he heard it, a more natural grin appeared on him, and he stood up straighter. More confident. 

"Oh ho ho! Wouldn't yoooouuu like to know?" he sung, approaching you once again. 

"I..I do know. You killed him, I have no doubt about that." You responded. You looked upwards. He was leaning over you once again now, right on top of you. You kept a careful eye on his mouth. If he started drooling--as he often did--it'd fall right onto your face. That'd be...less than desirable. 

"Should be happy, should you not?" He squatted in front of you again, returning to being on your eye level. Like you were cycling through positions to talk to him in. Those eyes of his were so...electrifyingly yellow right now. Were they always so bright? "You hated that job! You HATED it! Hate, hate, hate, hate…" 

"I think hate is a strong word." you replied, trying to ignore the smell of his breath in your face. It was warm, and smelled like...something wet. Wet dog? Wet carpet, maybe? It was gross either way. 

"I never wanted my manager to die, either. And…" You paused, struggling to find how to phrase it. There wasn't any good way to put it, really, and you doubted that Pennywise would care anyways. "...and even if I did want him to die, w-which I didn’t! ...Why would you do something to help me?"

Pennywise's expression seemed to shift some. Like the glow in his eyes...pulsed, somehow. It was hard to describe, but he looked different now, in a way you couldn't place your finger on. Maybe the yellow changed its hue, slightly? Maybe his browline seemed...angrier? You'd never know, or be able to figure out…You just knew that something in his face had changed. You felt it.

"I just wanted to leave you a suuurpriiise…" he giggled. He reached his hands up to your face, and you felt your heart stop suddenly, unsure of what he would do. But all he did was squish his gloved hands to your cheeks, and say in a babying voice, "But you didn't even get to see it! Isn't that sooooo sad? I made it look all pretty for you!"

Hesitantly, you reached your slightly shaky hands up to grab both of his, that were still on your face. Having them there just...made you feel uneasy. Like he would crush your skull between his hands if the impulse overcame him. You brought them off of you, but you didn't let go. Just held his hands between you both. 

"...Can I ask you something else?" you asked.

He seemed annoyed when you did. His expression dropped, and he even had the audacity to roll his eyes at you! As if you weren't supposed to have any questions about all of this! 

"Why does my shoulder always itch so much when you're around?" 

"Does it now?" he asked in return. A pleased expression began to creep its way up his face. It was never a good thing to see him so happy. "Does it itch right now?" 

"...Yeah, a little." You said, now raising your arm up to scratch it. You still kept one hand holding onto his. "It varies. Sometimes it itches a little, but other times, it’s...a lot... Why does it do that?" 

"That's so funny! Funny indeed!" he said, beginning to chuckle and jingle himself. "I've never had something like that happen!" 

He reached his free hand up to your shoulder, and slowly began to pull at it, inching the fabric downwards. You felt red heat rush its way into your cheeks as you tried to jerk away from him. Something about him attempting to pull your shirt down just seemed a bit...a bit too much. 

"H-hey, get off!" you blurted out, almost forgetting how dangerous he was, and what he might do if you snapped at him. 

But oh, he just wanted to look at your shoulder, that was all. And after he had successfully managed to shrug the corner of your shirt off of you, you noticed his mouth begin to water. A bit embarrassed, you looked down to your own shoulder, and were shocked by the sight before you. 

The bite mark...it had returned, suddenly. It looked fresh, as if it just gotten there. And somehow, almost deeper now. The skin surrounding the holes themselves was a deep purply, reddish color. A terrible bruise to paint the canvas for many small, red, perfectly round holes that were sunken into your flesh. It was horrifying to see appear so suddently, especially considering it was on your own body. 

"Oh, poor you…" he cooed, pouting his lip at you. He brought his gloved hand on top of the bite he left there. It stung, just a little bit, but the feeling of his cold glove against it seemed to soothe it at the same time. "This is all ol' Pennywise's fault, huh?" 

You weren't sure how to respond, or if you even wanted to for that matter. Part of you kinda just wanted him to stop touching you, but another part of you was scared of what he might do when he did stop. Maybe he’d finally want to take that whole shoulder off?

He then shifted his gaze back up to look you in the eyes, and with a cruel smirk and a raspy voice, he asked,

"Do you want me to kiss it better?" 

You quickly grabbed the fabric of your clothes and shifted it back over the bite mark, forcing his hand off of you. You took a step back from him.

"...That won't be necessary, thanks." you coughed back at him, hoping he couldn't sense the nervousness and confusion in your voice. 

Oh, but you know he could. 

And he knew that you knew. 

And he loved that. 

Still squatting on the floor, the clown placed his hands against his cheeks, and rested his elbows on his knees, staring at you with an innocent looking smile. He hadn’t brought out his fangs at all today. You hoped that was a good thing…

“Well? Is that aaaaall for the questions? I wouldn’t ask too many, you know.”

And then, he did something really strange.

He...he meowed.

Sounding exactly like a cat, he meowed.

All for it to lead up to him saying,

“Curiosity killed the cat, isn’t that right?”

Still stunned in silence from hearing the beast...meow at you...you took a few moments to respond.

“I...I mean, I can’t think of anything, right now…”

“Good, good!” he jingled. “Until we meet again, then...Hehehehe…”

You went to grab onto him again to stop him from getting away, but it looked as if that wouldn’t do you any good.

For he began to...melt.

Like wax off a candle, like a popsicle in the hot summer sun...he melted.

His entire form, dripping into a puddle on the floor. He left nothing behind as rivers of him sunk their way under the cracks in the floorboards, and then he was gone.

And knowing him, you wouldn’t be seeing him again until he felt like it.

You sighed, knowing you could only keep him under control for so long.

You looked towards the windows in the old house, as dust-covered as they may be. Perhaps it was for the best. The sun was already beginning to set outside, and you were ready to head home, anyways.

And you got home, safely. Pennywise didn’t bother you, of course. He had already spent all afternoon with you, he had no reason to try to scare you now. So, you simply followed through with your usual nighttime routine, and by the time it was fully dark, you were already snuggled into bed.

But you didn’t want to sleep, not just yet. 

You weren’t even sure if he was awake right now, but you decided to text him anyways. He could always answer in the morning if he wasn’t.

“Ryder...when IT talks about me, what does it say?”

You didn’t expect a reply so quickly, but only a few seconds later, he answered.

“Honestly kid, I don’t want to tell you.”

“Why not?” You responded.

“Ryder?”

“Are you there?”

“Please tell me what IT says.”

Ryder only gave you one word in response,

“Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well! This is something a bit different! Normally I post the new Chapters on Thursdays evenings...but it's Thanksgiving today!(In America at least) And since I have no idea when I'll be home or if I'll even be awake enough to upload when I do get home, I figured I'd upload it in the afternoon just this once instead! I had it all ready, so why not, you know?
> 
> Besides, if you're like me during Thanksgiving--on your phone a lot and not really talking to anyone--maybe this'll give you something to read and help pass the time! ;P
> 
> Writing for Penny is haaaaaard, so I hope I'm able to capture his character well the more I write him! I'm planning for him to talk quite a bit in the next chapter too, so I hope I can keep him consistent!
> 
> I hope you all have a great holiday, or an otherwise great weekend no matter what it is you're doing!! Thank you all SO so much for the support, you guys are the best and it's why I keep writing! :D
> 
> I hope I can deliver another great chapter to you next week, and as always, best wishes from me to you!<3


	14. The Rude Awakening

It's been a while. Maybe a few days, edging on being a week. Nothing out of the ordinary has changed, though it was odd that now your current idea of “ordinary” included a killer clown. 

You got that secretary job! It’s pretty okay. At least at this job you’re allowed to sit down. Well, you sat at your old job sometimes too, but you teeeechnically weren’t allowed there. The place also had air conditioning, which was SUCH a relief in the brutal summer heat. You were thankful you got this job so quickly after your old one, but it was both good and bad in some ways. Good, because now you wouldn't be broke, and could afford to, y’know, live! Bad, because now the clown had more time away from you, and you knew exactly what he was doing during that time. New “MISSING CHILD” posters being hung up every day reminded you of that.

Being away from Pennywise made you feel weird, and you're not entirely sure why. Kinda just...tugged at you the more you were apart. At first you thought it was just worry--you know, with him eating people and all--but it felt...different from that. Kind of lonely. You wanted to smack yourself in the face for the idea of missing him. You had to remind yourself that although he might’ve had fun doing nothing more than teasing you in your little conversations, he was in no way harmless. He killed people, and he wanted to kill you too. This wasn’t some small, fun little rivalry between schoolmates or coworkers or neighborhood kids. He was your enemy. He killed people. You weren’t allowed to forget that.

The bite was back too, by the way. The mark of it, now healing like a normal bite mark. Now it just itches all the time, though it still does feel a bit stronger whenever a certain clown is nearby...You’d never understand how it worked and quite frankly, at this point, you weren’t even sure if you wanted to. You’re sure you’d just drive yourself into dead ends trying to figure it out. You think the clown might've made it stay on purpose somehow, but you're not sure. You wouldn’t put it past him, though. It was very likely he made it stay this time. Especially with how he was looking at it before...You’re sure he loved the look of it on you. Well, you put bandages on it anyways, so he wasn’t going to be able to look at much anymore. Because of it, you began to wear different shirts for this type of weather. Ones that covered the bandages on your shoulder. Mostly so that Ryder wouldn't see and ask you about it(Even if he was there when it happened…). You didn’t want to worry him. You were sure he had his fair share of worries.

Speaking of Ryder, he seemed to have found some more information on Pennywise in the week or so that passed. At least, there's nothing else it could've been, right? 

Ryder said that he had been to the library--quite a few times, actually. You felt bad. If you had known, you would've helped him. You definitely would have! You wondered why he didn’t tell you he was going. Maybe he figured you were too busy with your new job, or something...You wanted to ask him about it, but it probably wasn’t important.

He said he discovered something, though. A pattern, of sorts. 

He had been reading through the history of Derry, trying to find if anyone had written about anything similar to this happening. If anyone had written about some sort of...strange, monstrous clown.

And they did.

Sorta.

If anything, they had a missing children problem, just like you did right now. Only 27 years ago, children had been going missing, similarly to how they had been this summer. And the 30 years before that, the same thing happened. And the 28 years before that. And the 27 before that, before it all started to get muddled together.

27 to 30 years, it came back. It came back, and it ate people, and then it disappeared as mysteriously as it had arrived. And people probably didn’t even notice, because no one ever stays in Derry that long. Or, maybe they grew up by the time he came back. Or, maybe the ones that did notice met with a very terrible fate before ever having the chance to do anything about it... And it seemed to have done this from when Derry was first settled, too...To have lasted this long, it really had to have been some sort of demon, as unbelievable as that sounded. 

Boy, aren’t you glad you moved to Derry?

“I want to get it before it disappears again.” Ryder had said, his voice sounding as serious as ever. “If we can’t kill it before then, this whole place is screwed 27 years from now.”

He...he had a point. If you didn’t kill it this...cycle, if you could call it that, what would happen? Surely the clown was bound to come back again. It’d be virtually unaffected. But what about you guys? Were you really going to stay here for 27 years and wait for it to come back again? You had no idea what Ryder’s plans were, but hell, what about your own? When you had moved to Derry, you didn’t really think it’d be a permanent thing. Just something in-between. Somewhere you’d stay a while, but leave eventually… Could you really wait 27 years for it to come back if you were unsuccessful?(Assuming your clown hadn’t successfully eaten you before then…)

“We need to find where it hides. That seems like it’ll be our only chance.”

Oh!

You know where it hides!

But boy, you sure weren’t going to tell him!

Mostly because it just seemed too dangerous to get into right now. You didn’t really find Ryder to be the impulsive type, but you were also...still a little too wary to tell him of where Pennywise stays. You’re not sure what he would plan to do if you told him. He had already gone to the library on his own without telling you until after the fact...who’s to say he won’t investigate the Neibolt House on his own once you tell him of it?

It was dangerous, too. Pennywise tolerated you, but would he tolerate Ryder the same way? Ryder had already lived this long, but...would Pennywise be angry if you revealed his little hiding spot? Would he get sick of all the little games by that point? How far would he go to remind you that he’s the one you should be scared of, not the other way around?

So you didn’t tell Ryder. Not now...not yet. 

And that was your week so far.

You got a new job, you found new information with Ryder, and the clown didn’t bother you too terribly much. Just popped up a few times, in your mirror, or outside a window, or would even just leave you with another passing balloon, to remind you that he was still there. Might’ve made you jump once or twice, but you’d usually just sigh after and continue on with your day. Nothing you could really do about it, so you’d just wait for him to come scare you, and then finish doing whatever it was you were doing beforehand. 

It was almost cute, in its terrifying stalker-y sort of way. Like a stray cat that kept coming back.

What WASN’T cute right now though, was the loud hard knocking on your front door at 7 in the morning. Really?

You had been in bed, sleeping in because you didn’t have work today, and by god did you need proper rest living the way you did recently. So to be rudely awakened by whoever the fuck was at your front door definitely did not do well for your mood.

You sat up in bed, rubbing your eyes and letting out a yawn as the knocking continued. You were worried for a second, before you checked your phone--no new messages or missed calls from Ryder, so it surely wasn’t him at your front door, meaning this wasn’t an emergency of any sort. You groaned, thinking it was nothing more than some aggressive salesperson at your door, or even some Jehovah’s Witnesses who were just DYING to ramble on at you. 

You put on a small jacket to make it look as though you were somewhat ready to answer the door, and slid into some slippers to add. Tired and hungry for breakfast, you started your way down the stairs, hoping this wouldn’t take too long. 

Oh, but if only things were that simple.

You didn’t even make it 3 stairs down the staircase before you heard a man’s voice on the other side, loud and booming itself into your home. He started with your name, and then followed it with,

“WE HAVE A WARRANT FOR YOUR ARREST!”

You froze in your tracks on the top steps. You felt your entire body stiffen and your blood run cold, and despite having nothing in your stomach, you felt a very intense urge to throw up.

Arrest? For what?

You didn’t do anything!

You tried to relax, and take a deep breath. The clown, Pennywise, he...he had to have something to do with this! Maybe it wasn’t even real, maybe it was just a hallucination...Maybe if you went downstairs and opened that door, you’d be greeted with nothing! And it all would’ve been just part of another one of Pennywise’s tricks to scare you! Because if he really wanted to scare you, this sure would’ve been the way to do it!

...But what if there really were police there?

You tried to calm yourself, thinking of what the hell you were to do right now. Right now, frozen in place you were...safe, kinda. You’re not sure what you would have done if the police just barged right in instead of knocking. 

But they might do just that, if you didn’t think quickly enough. 

You reminded yourself that right now, it was probably safe. You didn’t have a car on your property, and all the lights in your house were still off. You never yelled out back to them, and your curtains and blinds were still drawn. There was no indication that you were home. From the outside, it probably seemed as if no one was home to begin with, anyways. You had to use that to your advantage.

You snuck back up the stairs, trying to be much quieter this time, just in case. You grabbed your backpack and swung it over your shoulder, hoping that it didn’t make too much noise, and then slunk yourself back downstairs.

Despite the curtains being closed, you still tried to avoid any windows as you tip-toed quietly and quickly to your back door. Hopefully the loud sound of that police officers knocking was distracting them from the sound of your back door opening. 

You stayed close to the ground, grass itching itself against your arms and legs as you made your way to a hole in your back fence. You were suddenly very thankful you never got it fixed. Squeezing yourself between the planks, you rushed to the nearest form of cover in the trees, and kept making your way further and further from your house. 

All in all, the entire situation probably took only 2 or 3 minutes for you to escape from, maybe even less. But it felt like you had been in there for hours, and you were very grateful you were able to get away as swiftly as you did.

You had no idea what they were trying to arrest you for, but you KNEW the clown had something to do with it, and you weren’t going to fall victim to whatever heinous scheme he was cooking up this time.

You made your way back to the Neibolt House. It took you longer than usual, having to duck under bushes and behind trees and trying not to lose your way--but you weren’t caught by anyone, so it was worth it. Thank goodness the front lawn of the Neibolt House hadn’t been cut since last century, it allowed you ample hiding space, until you made it to the steps, bolted up them, and shut the door behind you.

As soon as the door was fully shut, you slumped against the back of it and started trying to catch your breath, finally. You had been pretty much holding it in the whole time, as if even just the sound of you breathing would immediately alert the police of where you were. How funny it was that right now, the Neibolt House was the only place you felt truly safe. 

Your heart was still racing a mile a minute, feeling like it was ready to burst if anything else “exciting” were to happen this morning. That’s probably exactly how Pennywise wanted you, and you hated that. You struggled to keep yourself calm, but the thought of being caught by the police and hauled off to jail was more than frightening, especially knowing you were an innocent person. And if the clown was in any way involved, chances are they wouldn’t believe you no matter how many times you could try to prove it.

You would’ve liked to believe that the police were just a hallucination created by him after all. That would’ve made things so much easier. But of course, your life was never easy. For when you checked your phone, still sitting against the door, you had noticed several texts from Ryder, asking you what had happened and why the law was looking for you.

Lovely. 

You couldn’t even respond to him just yet, mind and body still abuzz with everything that just happened. And as if that wasn’t enough on your plate, you soon felt two strong hands grip themselves underneath your arms, and pull you up from against the floor, so that you were standing on your wobbly, nervous legs once again. 

You stepped away from the door and looked around. The clown had certainly picked you up, but...where was he? You looked in front of you, then down the hall, and then back towards the door. No clown...Until you heard a very long creeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaak… and he fell from the ceiling in front of you, hitting the floor with a loud thud. You think he did that as an attempt to scare you even more, but you’re pretty sure you were way past a heart attack at this point.

Before Pennywise was able to stand himself completely up, you asked him, nearly shouted,

“What did you do?!”

“What did I do?” he repeated, sounding all too pleased with himself. “What did I do? What did I do?”

And before you knew it, he was towering over you once again, leaning ever so slightly over you. He seemed to enjoy doing that. Probably to remind you of how much smaller you were compared to him. How tiny you were in his eyes.

“Well? Tell me!” He chuckled, bouncing ever slightly. The sound of that clown-like voice was really begin to wear on your nerves. It sounded like it was mocking you, every time he spoke. “What did I do?”

What did he do?

What didn’t he do?!

Your life has been in chaos ever since he started “doing things”!

You thought back to it all, and everything he did, or had done, up until this point. 

You met him. He gave you a balloon. He met you at the carnival. He hugged you. He bit you. He scared you to death during your nightshift. He scared you to death in your own home. He pretended to be Robert Gray. He was your therapist. He was your boyfriend. He kissed you. He tried to eat you. He tried to eat a kid, and would have succeeded if you weren’t there. He killed your manager. He ate Ryder’s daughter. He--

Wait.

That’s right.

He killed your manager.

Specifically YOUR manager.

Right after you had just had a very angry talk with your manager.

That no one else was around for.

And he left the body there, for you to find.

At least, you thought it was for you to find. He said it was for you to find.

But maybe...maybe it was for someone else to find too.

Someone like the police.

Who, even after they interrogated you the first time, might have had reason to believe it was your fault he died.

...He planned it that way, didn’t he?

“You made them think I killed him!” You accused, as the realization settled with you. But that only made Pennywise’s smile grow ever wider. 

“Oh, did I? Did I do that?” he laughed, and continued to laugh. As if he won. As if there was nothing you could do now. “You...You’re so scared--I can smell it.” 

And suddenly, one of his hands was wrapped around your neck, fingers tightly coiled around it. It hurt, just a little bit. He didn’t have to grab so tightly. It’s not like you were going anywhere. He began to walk towards you--or rather, walk into you--forcing you back against the wall. You felt a twinge of pain surge through you as your head knocked against the wood, with how he was man-handling you and all. Like he had finally caught the prey he had been waiting for, and he was all too excited to chow down.

“...And I can almost taste it too.” He hissed. His breath reeked of that rancid, coppery smell as he exhaled right into your face. A disgusting, warm, moist feeling followed with it. Almost like steam, except way more rotten-smelling. You squinted your eyes against it, but you were still able to see it-- the fangs come out. Those horrible, pointed, jagged teeth, that were threatening to rip you to shreds.

“You won’t do it.” You choked out, trying to resist any fear. In return, it only caused him to choke your neck even harder. It elicited a low growl from him as well. Who were you to be acting so brave? Acting as if he was no threat to you?

He forced his face even closer to yours. So close, that you could feel the cool enamel of his teeth brush ever so lightly against the skin of your nose. He was dying to finally get another taste of you. To be able to down you whole. 

But if that’s what he really wanted, he would’ve bitten your head off as soon as you walked in the door.

Gathering as much air as you could with his hand still tight around your neck, you coughed out to the best of your ability, 

“You can’t get me to fall out of love with you that easy!”

And just like that, he released his fingers from your neck, and you took a sharp inhale once you were finally able to breathe again. You felt dizzy as he backed away from you, and you were able to catch a few good breaths, as well rub the area around your neck, still a bit pinched in pain. 

You had been expecting that when you looked up again, Pennywise would’ve disappeared, as he had a habit of doing. But he didn’t...he was still there. Baring his fangs, high defense ...standing like he was ready to fight you if you attacked him. You weren’t planning to do that, though. Not unless you absolutely had to.

You took a careful step towards him, and just like that other time, he backed away and hissed at you. Like a poor, cornered, scared stray dog. You thought it so odd that someone so threatening and monstrous was so quick to just...relinquish his power from you like that. What was the secret that caused him to behave like this sometimes? Regardless, you took another step towards him, and held your hands up, open-palmed, showing that you were not threatening him.

“...I love you.” You said again, trying to force a smile onto your face. It felt weird to say it, especially to...such a monster. A monster who tried to eat you, and many others before you. A monster who...framed you for murder. But you had to make him believe it. It was the only thing keeping you alive. That’s...that’s why you said it. “Even if you mess things up for me, I’ll still love you.”

He let out a sharp yell at you, spit flying off his fangs as he did so. Wasn’t any particular kind of yell, just a loud noise to scare you. Fend you off, a little bit. You stopped walking, but kept your hands in the air, and a gentle smile on your face.

“You can’t eat me today...I’m sorry.” 

Since you stopped walking, Pennywise gradually became more calm. He put the fangs away, and his teeth returned to normal. He stood a bit straighter, and his heavy, fearful breathing was returning back to a regular level.

“I’ll have you.” he muttered, drool trailing off his painted red lips as he continued staring you down. It was with such intensity, that it almost felt as if your skin was burning just from him looking at you. “You’ll be better than all of them. Every single one.”

And then you blinked, and once again he had disappeared.

But he wasn’t quite gone. 

You could feel that he wasn’t.

He was still here, somewhere.

Maybe in the walls, or under the floorboards, or even just upstairs, so he didn’t have to look at you head-on. 

But he was still here. 

You sighed, feeling like you had just gotten into a messy fight with a boyfriend, rather than feeling like your life was just threatened. No helping it now, though. You sat back down on the floor, still struggling to catch your breath just a bit. You took your phone back out and texted Ryder back finally, so that he knew you were okay.

“Whatever the police say, I didn’t do anything.” you sent him. “I’m going to hide until they realize it wasn’t me.”

“Do you need help? Where are you?” he sent back, not even a minute later. You felt bad. He must’ve been waiting for your response this whole time.

You looked around you. Looks like you’d be staying here a while… You had always tried to avoid spending long periods of time at the Neibolt House. It was dusty, and dirty, and something in here would definitely make you sick after a few hours. But for right now, staying here would definitely be safer than trying to walk around out there. You didn’t have many other choices.

“I’m okay. I’ll meet with you again when this all blows over. Just...trust me, okay?”

And he said he would.

You hoped he would.

And you hoped that no one would find you here before they realized you were innocent.

It had to come to light eventually.

You just...hoped that time was soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo again! I hope you're doing well, and I hope this chapter satisfies for this week! 
> 
> It's Finals Season so school has been SO hectic lately, but I managed to pull through and get this chapter out right on time! I'm hoping things will be a bit more smooth-sailing once winter break hits! Speaking of finals season--I hope you're all making it through yours! Just keep your head up and try not to stress too much, things always work out! 
> 
> I don't really have much to say this time around! I'm hoping to make the next chapter fun since we're kinda living with him now, hehe. Much to explore and I'm excited to explore it!
> 
> Thank you all so much for being so kind and supportive once again! Seriously, I don't think I would've even made it this far without you guys! As always, I hope I can continue to deliver a great story to you, and I hope your weekend is great too!


	15. The Treat

The first day wasn’t so bad.

It was manageable at least. 

Pennywise didn’t talk with you the rest of that day. Kinda just seemed like he was toiling in his own aggravation. Every now and again, he’d make an old chandelier shake vigorously, or have something delicate fall itself off wherever it was standing and shatter upon the floor, as if to voice his frustrations and let you know how upset you had made him.

What a baby. 

You spent most of the time that first day looking around the old house, doing nothing more than exploring the parts of it you had yet to see, curious as to what else the clown lived with. It didn’t seem to piss him off any more so than he was already, so that was probably fine. 

You found a few interesting items, but not a lot. Some old dusty paintings, some old dusty books, some old dusty knick-knacks, etc. All the stuff you had pretty much been expecting to find. All of it covered in dirt and cobwebs too, but nothing quite gross enough that you couldn’t dust off and use if you needed to. 

The bathrooms...strangely seemed to work, somehow. Well, mostly just the toilet, but you were MORE than thankful for that. You’re not sure how or why, but if there was anything you shouldn’t question, it was this. You thanked the clown for at least letting the toilet work, even if he wasn’t involved with that whatsoever. 

And then there came the matter of where you’d sleep. There was a mattress sitting on the floor upstairs, but no blanket or pillows to go along with it. Of course, you could always sleep on the couch...but it was hardly big enough to lie across, at least not comfortably. And if you even tossed or turned a little bit in your sleep, you’d probably fall off and crack your skull on the floor. Those seemed to be your only two options, though. Other presumed “bedrooms” didn’t have anything to sleep on. There was either only bed frames, or simply no bed at all. Great!

Oh, but even if there had been the most comfortable bed in the world, sleeping still would’ve been a most awful, dreadful experience. The blistering summer heat caused you to boil inside the old house, even at night. No electricity meant no air conditioning, and no way to cool yourself off other than just removing more layers of clothes. That in itself was less than ideal, because that just meant more dust and dirt would be getting on your skin instead.

It was also strangely loud outside as well, which you weren’t expecting. The sound of crickets, rustling leaves, and even owls were more than enough to keep your eyes open, despite how desperately you wanted to close them and just get some rest. 

The next day was a bit more rough. Your phone had already died by this point. If you had remembered to turn it off, maybe you could’ve saved some battery on it. Oh, but it probably wasn’t any good anyways. You couldn’t exactly use it for anything right now. The only big problem was that you couldn’t really contact Ryder any more, so you had no idea what the situation was in the outside world, and whether police were still on your trail or not. Of course, your work was probably calling you up too, but you weren’t too worried about that. You don’t think they’d fire you once they realized you yourself had become a missing person.

That was...strange, though. When you really thought about it. Would anyone ever have realized you were a missing person, if it wasn’t for your job? Ryder surely would’ve noticed if you didn’t message him beforehand, but other than him. You wondered that, if Ryder wasn’t there, how long it might take someone to realize you’re missing. Your phone would probably flood with messages from your work, asking why you haven’t come in. How long would it take them to realize you simply weren’t there? How long would it take for someone to realize the lights in your home just stopped turning on? How long would it take for a neighbor to realize they watched you leave your house one day, and never saw you come back or leave it again? Would they figured you just moved? You wondered….

You tried to pass the time that rough second day by reading a book. Luckily, the house had plenty left behind, so at least you wouldn’t be bored for a while. You started with Beauty and the Beast, or at least, some form of retelling of it. You know you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but you have to admit--you did choose to read this one because of the pretty gold leaf that adorned the front. Beauty and the Beast…”A tale as old as time.” as everyone called it. You chuckled to yourself, knowing how many retellings and different versions there was of this story. You wondered if any one of the many versions featured a killer, man-eating clown playing the role of the beast. Heh. Maybe you could make some money off that idea somehow, once you finally got out of here.

Of course, you had to stop reading once the sun started going down. You really didn’t want to start moving around too much in the dark, god forbid you trip on the stairs and break your neck because you couldn’t see anything. 

Pennywise didn’t bother you too much that day. You think he was still angry with you. Or rather, angry that he couldn’t eat you just yet. He may have been somewhere in the house, eyeing you, watching your moves, wanting to see what your plan was...but you hadn’t given him much to look at. You just read, and tried to ignore the feeling of your stomach feeling progressively emptier…

But now it’s the third day, and you are in much worse shape than you would’ve hoped. 

It was now that you were starting to realize all the conveniences of life you took for granted before. Not like you hadn’t appreciated them in the first place, but boy, the absence of them was really starting to take a toll on you. 

You kept scratching at your skin, because you haven’t been able to shower, and it felt as if a film-like layer of grime had made its home upon you. It didn’t help that you had been sitting and laying and resting against all the dirty, musty, dusty furniture of the home. Years worth of neglect all starting to rub off on you. And to top it all off, all the sweat you had produced from sitting in this oven a house. Gross was the kindest way to describe it. You felt this gross, but you couldn’t even imagine how it must’ve smelled.

Your head was throbbing in pain, so much so that it was unbearable. You could barely focus. Every time you tried to pick up that book, you had to put it down again. It was just too much, too hard. It was like your brain could see the words, but lacked the energy to be able to register them. It didn’t help that you couldn’t sleep at all. How could you? How could you rest in a place like this? Humid, baking, loud, disgusting, home to probably many disgusting little bugs that you were very grateful you haven’t come across yet. Yet.

And perhaps worst of all, your stomach. The emptiness of it hurt, like you had been punched in the gut by somebody wearing metal gauntlets over fists of steel. It was impossible to ignore, and your thoughts were only capable of bouncing back to “EAT. EAT. EAT.” Every time you had attempted to shift your energy elsewhere. The snacks you had packed in your backpack were small and had run out by this point, so your only option for food was to either eat whatever weird plant-life might’ve been growing in the damper areas of the house, or to leave the house entirely, and risk being captured by police who still didn’t know any better…

Right now, you were slumped against the couch in the living area. Not on the couch, but on the floor, and leaning against it. The old book you had fruitlessly attempted to read again was lightly clutched between your fingers, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to get any further in it like this. You were so conflicted, not wanting to run out and expose yourself, but also not wanting to starve to death in here, and having all your hard work have been for nothing. You felt your vision begin to darken, and yet felt powerless to stop it. You weren’t dying just yet, of course, but fainting was not out of the realm of possibility. Oh, you really didn’t want to faint. 

And oh, but what should appear before your heavy lidded eyes, other than a pair of jester-like shoes, with puffy red orbs at the ends. They fell lightly before you, like a feather floating gently down onto the soft grass of the Earth. They didn’t make a sound as they touched the floor. You barely had the energy left in you to pick your head up and look at him. You did, but maybe it would’ve been better if you didn’t, because he had the most smug look painted across his monstrous face as he eyed you down. 

“My, my, what do we have here?” he sung, bowing himself over you once again. He seemed to love having you under his shadow, in whatever ways he could manage. 

Suddenly, he started to sniffle, and raised his hands to cover his face, making fake, mocking crying sounds as he did. You didn’t even have the strength to get mad at him. All you could focus on was how hungry you were. 

“Poor, poor, little, stupid, idiot, dumb, dumb, DUMB, little human child…!” he cried over you. You were just thankful he wasn’t drooling over you, as he had a habit of doing. You felt gross enough as it is.

“...I’m not a kid.” you managed out, feeling embarrassed at how you weak you must’ve sounded. You were sure he was getting a rise out of how pathetic you must’ve looked right now. 

To top it all off, your stomach growled right then and there. Possibly the loudest it has ever sounded in your life, which didn’t help your situation at all.

“Is somebody hungry?” He asked. You tried to avoid looking at him. You knew that he was smiling, even without seeing it.

“...I’m starving.” You admitted. It’s not like it was a secret. You hadn’t eaten in about two days. Sure, maybe other people could last that long and be fine, but...This house was sweltering, you hadn’t slept at all, and the lack of food just amplified every bad feeling and made it so, so much worse. 

“Why, I’d offer you some of my food….” he chuckled, way too pleased with this whole situation. “...ohhhhh, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t want to eat any of it.” 

Ugh. If all he was going to do was come over to tease you about how hungry you were, you wish he never showed up at all. All he ever did was enjoy making you feel miserable, but hey, you did the same to him, right? This was just his payback. 

“Hey…” You started, willing to try anything at this point. Things couldn’t possibly be worse from how they were right now. “...Could you get me something?”

Pennywise didn’t seem to understand. He quirked his head to the side, and stared at you with a slightly pouted lip and perplexed brows.

“...I can’t go out there, you know that.” You said, fighting back a cough. Your dry throat wasn’t helping anything. Talking made it itch ever worse. Hell, if you didn’t get water soon, that’d be a whole other issue to solve in itself. Your excessive sweating didn’t help in the water department either. “I need to eat something.”

The clown took one step back from you, and in a moment of desperation, you lunged yourself at him and wrapped your arms around his ankle, looking up at him with pleading eyes. 

“Please! I...I need something, anything...M-maybe not anything, but…” you begged him. You didn’t even care at this point. If begging was the difference between eating and starving, you’d kiss the dirt he walked on. 

“Now, now, you’ve said it before, haven’t you?” he giggled, leaning down once again to smirk right in your face. “...Why would I do something to help you?”

“...Because you want to eat me.” You countered, almost surprising yourself with how little time it took you to do so. “You want to eat my fear. And I can’t be afraid if I’m already dead ...S-so, please ...” 

Pennywise tugged his ankle away from you, and, having used up all your energy, your head face-planted into the floor. All you remember after that was your own heavy breathing as you struggled to stay conscious, and then you passed out.

When you woke up again, the sun had already begun to set. The house was coated in a fine orange light, which meant pretty soon it would be shrouded in shadow once again. It’s a shame you couldn’t have gotten some sleep when it was already dark, but you’d take any form of rest you could get at this point. 

You groggily lifted your face from the dirty hardwood floor, wiping off any residue that had stuck to you. As you tried to regain your senses, you heard a slight crinkling, and looked over. 

There was candy, suddenly sitting in front of you.

A few different kinds.

And you noticed they were....

… specifically, your favorite kinds.

Did Pennywise get you something after all?

But how would he know which you liked? Did he watch you when you were on break? Did he notice these were your go-to’s when you would steal them from the front counter of your old convenience store?

Candy hardly constituted a meal, but any food was better than no food. Especially being as starved as you were. 

You picked up the pile of wrapped treats in your hands, and feebly stood up. You looked around you. Your little gift-giver didn’t seem to be anywhere.

“..T...Thank You!....?” You shouted out, and heard it echo throughout the house. Perhaps you shouldn’t have “thanked” him. He was still a monster after all, but…

At least he wasn’t going to let you starve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo again everyone! I feel this chapter is a bit of filler, haha...but I think filler is important in a story sometimes! Helps space things out a little! And at least I was able to include a bit of Penny at the end!
> 
> But I'm REALLY excited for next weeks chapter! I already began writing a bit of it and I think it'll be such a doozy! So I hope you enjoy it too!
> 
> Thank you all SO so much for your kind comments! I know I don't respond to them really, I'm just so so so so so sooooo shy and easily overwhelmed! ;w; But believe me when I say they all mean the WORLD to me! I read all of them, over and over and over again! They make me so so happy!! So here's another thank you from me to you, because your support is NEVER unappreciated! You guys are the best and help keep this story going! I can't put into words how much I appreciate every one of you<3
> 
> Not too too much to say this time I think, but as always! Have a wonderful weekend and week ahead of you! I hope the next chapter will be as exciting as I hope to write it!


	16. The Trick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING(Feel free to skip this warning if you're not easily triggered by anything!)
> 
> This chapter contains ""on-screen"" death! I don't think I go into too much detail about it, but there is a lot of blood involved and it's a little gruesome at one part. Be aware!

You have only gotten dirtier and grimier since you’ve been here.

But at least you weren’t starving anymore. 

It’s been a few days. Maybe two, maybe three? Maybe even four? Maybe even a week? Who knows! You didn’t really think to keep track, and it was especially hard without a calendar or phone to tell you the date. But keeping the date right probably wasn’t all that important in the end. Your main goal was not to get caught by the police, and you were succeeding in that so far. 

You’re not really sure when you would eventually leave this place, but you’d cross that bridge when you got it. All you were focused on now was keeping yourself healthy and safe. 

And you were like, half-healthy. 

You looked like a disgusting, sloppy, grimy mess every time you looked in the mirror, but at least you weren’t going hungry.

Ever since your little talk with Pennywise, begging him to get you something to eat, he’s been dropping off food for you. He might not admit that he does it, but it’s obvious that he does. You honestly did not expect him to do it more than one time.

You’ll walk into a room, and suddenly there’ll be a brand new candy bar on the windowsill, or in the sink, or on a table you had already passed before. With a shiny wrapper that was hardly even crinkled. You wondered wherever it was he got them from? You wondered if he really did just steal them from your workplace, or if he stole them from people’s houses? Maybe both? Maybe he even...bought them, in disguise? It was anyone's guess.

Of course, candy isn’t nutritious, and would only hold you over for so long. So, you tried your hand at dropping “subtle” hints to Pennywise, to let him know what you might want or need at the moment. It seemed like the only way to go about it without outright asking him for it.

You’d sit and read somewhere,trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. In the midst of it, you’d cough and say to yourself “Damn, I’m so thirsty…”

Then, a few minutes later, you’d get up to stretch, maybe turn a corner or so, and then there’d be a water bottle that had rolled its way into the house somehow. Not even a speck of dirt on it. Now, how did that get here?

Or maybe you’d say something like “The fruit is always on sale during summer, I’ll have to remember to get some after I get back home…” You’d say it oh-so absentmindedly, as if you were simply thinking aloud and trying to plan what you would do once you were home again.

And then, suddenly, an apple growing from a branch that broke through one of the windows long ago, or a perfectly ripe orange that somehow landed in the old kitchen sink.

You were sure he knew what your little game was. He wasn’t stupid, after all. But if both of you pretending that he wasn’t feeding you is what kept the peace, you were more than happy to pretend. 

You found it uncharacteristically nice of him to be feeding you like this. You were thankful for it, of course, but it was so...unlike him. Hell, you figured if he was feeding you at all, it’d probably be from garbage he picked up during his own “feedings”. But here he was, feeding you,feeding you fresh things, and giving you all the things you asked for.

Although, the more you thought about it, maybe he wasn’t really being as sweet as you assumed. Maybe it made you happy to be getting fed so, but there had to be some of his own intentions behind it. Honestly, sometimes, as you were eating, you began to feel a bit like a hamster in a cage. Eating only when its owner noticed it was time to be fed. You wondered if Pennywise saw you like that too. A pet for him. Something that’d keep him entertained...for now.

Another part of you felt a bit like Hansel and Gretel. Like Pennywise was the evil hungry witch, luring you in with a false sense of security, only to one day lead you into the oven, and you would’ve had no idea.

Maybe you were already in the oven right now.

Pennywise only spoke to you one other time since he started feeding you. 

And it was a bit of a silly interaction, too. 

You had been fiddling with your dead phone in your hands, wondering when you’d be able to charge it again, and wondering what your messages must’ve looked like since it’s been dead. You’re sure that there were messages from your work, at the very least. You hoped they would still want to keep you around, after you had gone missing and all. 

And then, suddenly, he was next to you. Sitting beside you, leaning over your shoulder so heavily you could practically feel all his weight on you as he was pressing himself into your side. Like a big, gentle giant, that...really wasn’t all that gentle. 

“Sad we can’t call for help?” he asked, like he was teasing you.

“...No. Not really.” you answered. “I don’t have anyone to talk to, anyways.”

And then, after a moment, you remembered something.

Pennywise used to text you. 

He used to have a phone.

And, actually, you don’t think you ever even deleted “Gray’s” number from your phone. 

You looked back over at Pennywise, even if you didn’t have to look far.

His eyes were blue this time around. You’re not really sure why. 

You thought about how ...this victorian-looking abomination of a clown...had used a phone? And texted you before?

“...Where did you get a phone from?” You asked him, genuinely curious the more you thought about it. “Back when you were still pretending to be human, and all.”

He jingled himself and giggled. “Thought it would be handy to keep a lot around. Never know when anything will do you some good.”

“...Did you steal them?” You begun to ask, a bit hesitant, but wanting to know. “...You know. From like, people...people that youuuuu…..” You trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud. You’re sure he got the message.

“Oh, ol’ Pennywise didn’t even have to!” He laughed, a big hearty laugh this time, but still with its goofy charm. “They fall down into the drains allllll the time!”

The drains?

You do remember seeing him stand inside one, that one time. It...did seem like a pretty good place to hide. Look out for people passing by. And since he could shapeshift, he’d have no problem turning into some kind of snake or bird or whatever else to follow whoever he decided... 

But, without thinking of all that stuff, it was a fairly...pleasant conversation. It was so weird how you were suddenly just...sitting and talking with a monster.

But don’t worry.

He was definitely going to remind you he was a monster. 

It was now the end of the day, and the sun had finally finished setting. Just about, at least. You had decided you were going to stay upstairs this time around, as you felt it too dark to risk heading down the stairs again. 

Old backpack by your side, you laid on the aged mattress that was shoved in one of the old rooms and tried to get some shut-eye once again. Although the house was usually boiling, it was surprisingly cool tonight, and you were hoping that alone would provide you with enough comfort to rest well. 

Oh, but of course not.

Some time after you had laid down, you heard a creaking sound. At first, you just figured it was Pennywise. Moving around the house, maybe attempting to scare you once again. You were too tired to pay it any mind at first. But then the creaking continued, and you heard giggling. 

But not Pennywise’s giggling. 

The giggling of a teenage girl.

Oh, shit.

You scrambled to your feet and snuck out the room and over to the banister and railing of the house’s staircase. It was difficult getting here in the darkness, but you didn’t even think about that as you peered over the edge and looked down to where the front door was. A flashlight was shining into the house. 

Shit.

Illuminated by their flashlight in the darkness, you could see the face of not one teenager, but three. Two girls, and a boy. They all looked to be about 16-ish, and had the cheeky grins of teenagers who had snuck out past their curfew and escaped notice by their parents. Hell, the girl with the flashlight had braces even, you could see them reflecting in the dark. What were they doing out here? They probably thought it would be soooOOOoooOOOOooo funny to come out to the town's old “haunted house” as a summer adventure before they’d have to go back to school again in the fall.

That was a stupid thing to do, even if a killer clown didn’t live here.

But since a killer clown DID live here, you felt it all the more important to get them out. 

“HEY!” you yelled at them, standing tall now behind the railing and grabbing it with both hands. You felt like a scary old person, the kind in cartoons, yelling at a bunch of children to get off your lawn.

You heard a few “Oh shit!”s and “Who--?!” from them as they scrambled to shine their light in the proper direction. The braces girl shines her flashlight directly in your face, nearly blinding you. Just what you needed!

“Ew, you creep, what are you doing here?!” She yelled. You felt bad about thinking it, but her voice sounded just like the stereotypical popular highschool girl. The kind in movies, who has a clique and her own hot-rod of a car. And judging by her little posse and her dip-dyed hair, she probably was that kind of girl, if not very similar. And if you knew anything about highschool girls, popular or not, it’s that they never took “no”, for an answer.

And it’d be especially hard to tell them no, considering how crazy you must’ve looked. Dirty clothes, dirty skin, haven’t showered in days....Hell, you must’ve looked like some crazy crackhead to them, and smelled even worse. But that didn’t change the fact that needed to get out of here if they wanted to live.

“You need to leave!” you shouted down to them, sounding more than angry. “Right NOW!”

“I think YOU need to leave!” The other girl chimed in. Her voice was even squeakier somehow, and her pigtails whipped when she moved, as if expressing her attitude. “Seriously, what the fuck are you doing in here?! Fuckin’ squatter!”

You felt yourself grip the railing hard enough to give you white knuckles. Shit, shit, shit. They needed to LEAVE. If Pennywise was here, it was over for them. And even if you were lucky enough that he wasn’t, you had to make them leave before he came back.

You started to stomp down the stairs, and the group began to back away from you as you did so. You tried to make it apparent you wouldn’t hurt them by showing you weren’t carrying any weapons or anything dangerous on you.

“Don’t you know what people fucking say about this house?! Don’t you know why--”

“Hey, back off!” The boy of the group spoke up. He stood in front of his two girl friends, and held out his hand defensively. As if HE was really the hero in this situation. “My dad’s a fucking cop, alright?! So maybe you wanna get out of here before I call him up, yeah?”

Shit. That was bad. Even if the kid was lying, they could still call the cops on you either way. And you couldn’t have the cops finding you, that’d ruin everything! But you couldn’t just leave these kids alone, either! They’d never make it out alive if you did! Taking a huge risk to yourself, you decided to try calling him out on his bluff.

“Does your ‘Daddy’ know you’re out here?” you questioned. In the light of the flashlight, you could see not only his, but all their facial expressions shift. They suddenly all looked worried, as if picturing in their heads what their parents would do if they were caught sneaking around at night.

“Yeah, that’s what I figured.” you continued. The children all grew a defeated look on their face as you scoffed at them “I can assure you there’s no ghosts or anything in this house, okay? Just a bunch of boring furniture and shit, so get out and find somewhere else to ghost hunt.”

The gaggle of teens all grumbled and cursed under their breath as you pointed them back towards the door. They may have been angry with you, but it was for their own good, and hopefully they’d realize how stupid their little adventure was anyways with time. 

Except…

“Fucks up with this?” the boy yelled, as he jimmied the door handle. “It’s fucking stuck!”

No.

No no no no no no!

You pushed back the teenagers as you rushed over there, the girls gasping out an “ew!” when you pushed them out of the way. You grabbed onto the door handles, and pulled with all your might. 

Nothing.

Fuck.

“What’s the big idea, huh?!” The boy yelled again, meanwhile you were too busy thinking of how you were going to get them out of here.

“F-follow me!” you exclaimed, pointing towards the direction you were pretty sure was the living room. Even having stayed in this house a while, it was still hard to navigate in the dark. “T-there’s a window over there! You can jump out from it, okay?!”

You attempted to grab the girl with the flashlight by her wrist, but she immediately pulled back and screamed “Ew! Don’t fucking touch me you freak!”

“Don’t you get it?! You need to fucking get out of here before he--”

And then, a scream. A blood-curdling, ear-shattering scream erupted from the other girl, and then was followed by a very loud...crunch.

Fuck, please, no!

All of the rest of you turned around to see what had happened.

And you really wished you hadn’t.

When the girl you were next to shined her light on the situation, you were all greeted with a horrendous, gory sight. 

The pig-tailed girl...split in two. Her waist completely disconnected from her torso. Ripped apart like it was nothing. Her legs were being held by two giant, sharp claws, holding them in place. Her top half was quickly disappearing into the terrifyingly large maw of what could only be described as a monster.

And yet, he still looked like the clown somehow.

He still looked like your first friend in Derry. 

It took a minute for you all to properly register what was happening, before you all broke out into screams and started running. You and the living girl made a break towards the stairs. The boy tried to follow behind you, but you heard how he tripped and fell flat on his face. It was too late to save him though. The second he fell, he was done for. 

“GOD, FUCK, HELP, HELP M--!” followed by another loud crunch, a dastardly laugh, and then a pause, and then the sound of liquid dripping on the floor. Fuck. You cursed at yourself for not being able to make them leave even sooner. But all you could do now was at least try to save the remaining girl.

You and the girl ran into one of the old bedrooms, and once you were both inside, you slammed the door behind you. You doubted it would do much good, but it at least offered you some sense of security. You kept your back against the door, knowing that Pennywise could still easily bust it down if he wanted to. But she didn’t know that, so maybe she would feel a little safer...

The girl didn’t even talk to you, she was pretty much hyperventilating at this point, and she was DEFINITELY crying. You kinda wanted to cry too, but maybe you could cry after you assured she was safe. She dropped her flashlight on the floor, then ran into one of the wardrobes to hide. You thought that might be best for her, and, maybe, your demon of a clown would think that she had escaped after all.

But even that was too much to hope for.

As you stood against the door of the room, waiting to hear any more noise from downstairs, the wardrobe suddenly began to rattle vigorously, and you heard the poor girl scream from inside “HELP! LET ME OUT!”

You raced towards the wardrobe as fast as you could, but it was too late. It was always too late.

When you opened the doors, you were met with a tsunami of blood, that had enough force to almost knock you to the ground. Blood was splashed all over your entire body, and you could feel every individual drop of it. The girl was nowhere to be found. All that you could see, glittering faintly in the light, was him.

And his horrible, jagged, bloody smile. 

And that was the last straw.

You began to cry, as some strangers blood coated and dripped down your body, staining you red. It felt sticky and disgusting and absolutely riddled with guilt. You backed away from the wardrobe as that thing--that monster--crawled out after you. And it crawled, looking like an animal. Looking like the beast that it was. It didn’t even resemble a human anymore. It...it looked like an insect. It looked like a demon. It looked like a nightmare. 

You backed up, into the wall, choking on your own sobs as he crawled and jingled and giggled ever closer. But despite how awful he was, and what had just happened, he wasn’t going to get you too. Not tonight. Not after all that.

He wasn’t allowed to get you too.

“I...I HATE YOU!!!” you screamed at him, louder than you ever screamed at anyone before. 

“WHEN IS IT ENOUGH FOR YOU, HUH?” You screamed again, voice cracking in your tears. Your throat hurt from the yell alone. You backed up fully into the wall. 

Pennywise roared at you in response, his saliva or whatever it was flinging itself off his teeth and onto you. He began to lift himself off the ground, but he kept his distance from you. Just kept roaring and growling and acting like he was threatening you. But you weren’t going to let him make any sort of move, not this time.

You grabbed onto a small table lamp that had been sitting on the desk beside where you stood. And with another powerful shout, you screamed “HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?!”

And before you knew it, you swung the lamp and smashed it against his big, horrible, stupid face. You had thought that such a tiny, easily broken lamp wouldn’t do any REAL damage, you just hoped it would fend him off even a little bit. But to your surprise, he immediately recoiled. In fact, it seemed as though a few fractures of it got stuck in his body. Shards of what looked like porcelain reflected and glimmered in the light as they pierced into his “skin”, if you could call it that.

He whined and stumbled like a hurt animal, until he himself crashed through the window of the room you were in, and fell into the grass below. When you hurried to the window to see what had happened to him, it appeared as if he had completely disappeared into the grass itself.

And suddenly it was over, just like that.

He wasn’t dead. You could feel that he wasn’t. But you didn’t think he’d be coming out again to play tonight. 

Trying to pull yourself together, you picked up what was once the girl’s flashlight off the floor. It’s faint white light was now red in tint from the blood that had splashed across the lens. You sniffled a few times as you walked back to the room where your backpack was and unzipped an important pocket.

You were glad you wrote this down, instead of simply saving it in your phone. 

You pulled out a piece of paper. On the other side of “LEAVE DERRY.” Ryder’s address was on it. 

He had told you his address when you first started staying in the Neibolt House, in case you needed to find him. Right before your phone died. You wrote it down, so you wouldn’t forget it. He was too far to reach, initially, so you had stayed in this old house. If you had left that day to stay with Ryder instead, you might’ve quickly been caught, after all. 

But after what just happened, you couldn’t spend another minute here. Not alone.

You didn’t care that it was late at night, or that you were drenched in blood. You didn’t care that the police still might be after you, and how terrible it would look to be caught this way. None of that mattered right now. You left the house, and marched into the cool summer air, and tried to avoid the streetlights as you made your way to Ryder’s house.

Upon arriving, you knocked harshly and repeatedly on the door. You’d keep knocking until he answered. He NEEDED to answer. And after a few minutes, he did. Thank god.

“Christ almighty kid, what the hell happened to you?!” was the first thing he said when he saw you there, genuine concern and fear in his voice as he saw the mess you had become. He was relieved to see you okay, but shocked to see you in such a state.

You didn’t answer his question though. 

You simply told him,

“I want to kill this fucking clown.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOoooh boy! Even I didn't expect the story to go in this direction! But once I had the thought in my head, I just knew I had to write it! I hope you all enjoy it too! Pennywise went a bit all-out this time around...but we love him because he's a monster, and not just in spite of it! Right? Right. Maybe? Right! 
> 
> Don't worry though, I'm not going to let this event impede on any of the romance that is expected, and I think you'll see that in the next chapter! I'm excited for you all to see how it all develops, and where it goes from here!
> 
> Thank you all SO so much once again!! You guys just make my day and it is honestly so great to have such a lovely audience to be writing for! I mean it, you're all the best!! :')
> 
> Not a lot to say this time around! The holidays are coming up soon, so I hope whatever you celebrate, that it's great! And that next weeks chapter will be a great holiday present from me to you!<3


	17. The Confrontation

You were very grateful to Ryder as he let you shower in his house. You had never been so desperate for a bath in your life. He was also kind enough to lend you some spare clothes as he washed yours, and invited you to ‘help yourself’ to any food in his home. Of course, you would’ve done the same for him if he was in your shoes. Using someone else’s shower was always strange, but you were more than thankful to wash everything off of you, and see all the red water rinse itself down the drain and return to clear once again. That’s how you knew you were clean, even if you still didn’t want to get out of the shower. 

It was plenty late at night, but neither of you could simply just lie down and sleep after you turned up to his house like this. Texting him mysterious things one day, then going dead silent, and all of a sudden turning up covered in blood wasn’t something he could easily let you get away with. Even though you didn’t really want to talk about what happened, reliving those terrifying and gruesome memories, you knew that he should know about what happened. 

You sat on his living room couch with him. It was soft--much softer than the old couch in the Neibolt House. Its fabric wasn't dirty or dusty or rough on your skin. You had almost forgotten what a soft couch felt like, even if it had been only a few days. You took a deep breath as you prepared to tell Ryder your story. And you told him your story, but you did fib some parts of it. You had explained to Ryder that you hid out in the woods for a little bit, and then started hiding in the Neibolt house when you realized it was empty and abandoned, conveniently leaving out any mention of knowing Pennywise was there to begin with. You told him about how your phone lost its battery, and you survived in the house by eating from strange plants on its property. It was your only option if you didn’t want to leave the house and risk being caught. You didn’t tell him about how the clown had been feeding you. He scolded you for eating food off random plants you found, but it was better than telling him you knew where the clown was the whole time.

Then, you had to explain to him the attack, the one that left you drenched in blood, that happened mere minutes before you wound up at his door. Even now, it had only been a few hours since it had happened. And already, you brain was trying to block it from your memory, even if the images were as clear as ever as you remembered them. You explained it to him as best and as quickly as you could. Just to be able to get it out there and not think about it anymore. 

You were trying to sleep when you heard a group of teenagers break into the property. You had a feeling that a group of teenagers all alone and late at night, in a spooky dark house, would be a great opportunity for the clown to feast. So, you tried to get them to leave, while also not wanting them to report you to the police. You did manage to convince them to leave, but by that point, it was too late. Before they could get out the door, the monster struck. It killed and ate two of them faster than you could even process what was happening. You tried desperately to save one of them, but he took her too, and made sure that you knew that her blood was on your hands by spewing it up all on top of you. You concluded the story by saying you think that’s why people think the old house is haunted--not because it is old, but because the clown lives there. You didn’t tell him that you already knew that fact for a while. 

Retelling that story must have made you look pretty shaken up, because Ryder brought you a blanket to wrap yourself in, and decided to distract you by telling you about what had happened since the day you went missing. 

He started from when you last texted him, telling him that he should trust you. And so, he did. He had deleted the messages from his phone just in case the police interrogated him and wanted to see it. Luckily, they didn’t. But it was a good precaution to take nonetheless. Once the police realized that you weren’t in your home, or well, anywhere for that matter, and that no one had even seen you for at least a day or so earlier, they declared you missing. It seemed to absolve you of some suspicion, while also placing you under even more. There was gossip in the local papers, debating if you had gone missing because you had simply gone missing and the real culprit was still at large, or if you had gone missing because you really WERE the culprit and were scared of getting caught. 

Luckily for you, though, a new suspect was caught and arrested, so the police weren’t too worried about you anymore. You don’t know how they would’ve found another suspect, considering it was all the clown's fault to begin with, but you were thankful for it nonetheless. Though, it was hard not to feel bad for the poor soul that got caught up in the middle of it all. 

You were still missing, though, and maybe it’d be better if it stayed that way a little while longer. At least until you could get the entire situation under control. 

“...I think it’s weaker than we thought.” You told Ryder, keeping the blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders. It did provide you comfort.

“What makes you say that?”

“...How I was able to get away from it.” You began to explain. “After...after it was...finished, with the others...I hit it with a lamp. A desk lamp.” You continued, trying not to think of those poor kids as you did. “It was a small lamp, but...he screeched in pain and then stumbled himself out the window. It’s...not as strong as I used to think.”

“Is that so?” Ryder questioned, standing up from the couch, cracking his bones a bit as he did. “Because if the thing really is that much of a pussy, then I don’t see why we should wait any longer.”

“...What should we do, then?” You asked.

“We do what you said. We kill that fucking clown.” he replied, turning back over to you. “I got quite the assortment of things we can bash his brains out with. Shovels, sledgehammers...I think I even have an old axe in the back shed, if you think you can handle it.”

“Wait...we really are going to kill it? Right now?”

“Look kid, we can try to plan it all we want…” he started, taking a deep sigh. “...But there’s only two of us, and the longer we wait, the more he’s gonna take. And, if what you said is true...if he really is weak to something as small as a lamp...then I think an axe will solve that problem just fine.”

You thought about it. He was kinda right.

You guys could keep stalling and planning and trying to learn more about him, but what good would it do? Clearly, no one had ever learned this thing’s weakness before if it was still around. And you just caught a glimpse of that weakness, right before your eyes. It was probably your only chance to stop it.

And you had to.

You knew you had to.

You both had decided you would return to the Neibolt house tomorrow. For now, it was probably good you get some rest. You were going to need it, after all. You slept on Ryder’s couch, and tried to get as much sleep as you could. It was difficult, though. Knowing that tomorrow literally was life or death. 

The next morning, you ate breakfast across from Ryder. Normally, when staying at someone else’s house, you’d feel bad about eating so much of their food. But, considering this might be the last meal you’d ever have, you didn’t really constrain how much you ate. And hey, if you survived, you’d pay Ryder back for all of it. 

You two didn’t really talk during breakfast, or even since you had been up. Not even a ‘Good morning’ from either of you. The atmosphere was awkward and tense. Of course it was. You guys had decided to march into your own death last night, and there was no reason to postpone it any longer. The longer you waited, the more he ate, and the more suffering would occur. Besides, what other planning was there to do? Ryder had weapons, and you told him where the clown lived. There was only one other thing that could happen next.

Ryder quietly got up from his seat when he finished breakfast, clearing his throat just a bit. He then walked off, into his backyard. You watched from the window as he collected a few different items from an old shed in the back, then brought them inside, and laid them all out on the counter for you.

“Take your pick.” he said, grabbing the woodcutter axe for himself, even though he had offered it to you just the other night.

You looked down at the display before you. You don’t think any of them would have made quite as great a weapon as Ryder’s, but that was probably fair. If he owned it, then he probably knew the right way to use the axe, after all. 

There was a shovel, a rake, a pitchfork, and a gardening hoe. All handheld weapons, that you could use at a long distance. And they were also all...gardening tools. You never really expected Ryder to be the gardening type...Or, maybe he just liked keeping his shed well-stocked. It didn’t really matter. 

You decided on the shovel. It’s not that the other tools were bad, but the shovel just seemed like the safest bet for you. And if you happened to hold it the wrong way, well, at least you wouldn’t be at as much risk of cutting or poking or jabbing yourself. 

It all just happened so fast that morning.

Because before you knew it, you were standing outside the Neibolt House once again. Its tall, dark silhouette looking more threatening than ever. You had stood outside this old frame time and time again, and somehow each time felt different than the last. When you entered into that building, it was with the knowledge that you might not be coming out again.

But did you really have much of a choice anymore?

After that little stunt you pulled just last night, there was no doubt in your mind that Pennywise would be any less than furious with you. Eating you was probably the only thing he began to think about the minute that lamp crashed into his face. If you were a giant, man-eating monster, you were sure it was the only thing you’d be thinking about. You were lucky to have gotten this far without being eaten. You were lucky Pennywise didn’t decide to pop himself up at Ryder’s last night. Maybe he was still taking time to recover, but...It was only a matter of time before you saw him again. And when you did, well….

It was probably best this way. At least you had a weapon, and were prepared.

Ryder probably sensed your apprehension, because before you stepped onto the lawn for what might’ve been the final time, you felt his hand pat your shoulder reassuringly.

“Look at me kid. Really look at me.”

You turned to him. His face seemed...soft, somehow, despite how serious he always came off. 

“...It’s gonna be ok.”

You gulped, and nodded, gripping your shovel even harder. You really wanted to believe that he was right about that.

And then, once again, you were walking up the stairs, up to the door, and hesitantly pushing it open.

And once again, you took a step inside. 

All the blood and carnage from last night had disappeared. As if it was never really there to begin with. As if making you look like some kind of liar. 

Oh, how you wished that it was all just a bad dream...But you knew that it wasn’t, even if things appeared that way.

You held your shovel close to you, whipping your head around every which way. Side to side, up, down, he could pop out of anywhere without a moment's notice. You kept a careful eye on Ryder, too. Made sure he was still...there. Still beside you. Making sure he didn’t change at all. Making sure he didn’t look like he belonged in the circus. 

You knew, eventually, Pennywise would show himself again. You just didn’t know how, or when, or in what form he would take. So you were on very high guard, trying to look for things that weren’t there before, or things that just seemed a bit…”off” since last you were here. 

And then, you heard crying in the other room. 

Oh boy.

You and Ryder shared a cautious look, and then slowly made your way closer to the noise. The crying sounded like that of a young child, but you knew it had to be Pennywise. There was no way around that fact. He was trying to trick you, but both of you knew better.

And he knew that you knew better. 

When you turned into the archway of the next room, you saw a little girl standing there, her face soaked in tears, her cheeks puffed and red from the intensity of her sobs. Her hair was curly, and a bit messy, and reached down to her shoulders. One hand was up by her face, balled into a fist and rubbing her eyes, though her tears would not stop. Her other hand was down by her side, latching tightly onto the arm of an old teddy bear that slumped against the dirty floor. She was wearing pajamas, but they were...dirty. Muddy-looking. And there was a bit of...red mixed in there as well. 

You looked over to Ryder, as you were sure this was just another one of the clown’s tricks, and that he knew that, but…

Ryder was completely fixated on the little girl. His eyes were wide, and he was holding his axe much more loosely than before. His shoulders were slumped, and his lip seemed to quiver a bit the longer the crying went on. His eyes seemed...glossy, too. You were about to say something, but then you heard the little girl speak herself.

“Why, Daddy?” she sobbed.

Oh.

Oh no.

He really went that far, didn’t he?

“I t-told you I didn’t want to sleep alone…But you said there wasn’t a monster, so...” she continued to cry, pausing between her words just to sob even harder and drill in to poor Ryder’s heart even more. “A-are you happy, Daddy? I went to bed like you asked…I did what you told me to do…!”

Oh, no. Hell no.

He already bullied you plenty.

He didn’t get to bully Ryder too.

You repeated the words to yourself, over and over…

“It’s not a real girl. It’s not a real girl. It’s not a real girl…”

You held tightly onto your shovel, and, with all the strength you could muster, and trying not to look...You swung and smashed it right into that girl’s face.

For the first time, you heard Ryder scream as the girl was thrown back against the wall...and suddenly, she wasn’t looking so much like a little girl any more.

Its body began to write and shift as it began to look like the clown once again. Oh, but this time it was all the more angry. Eyes of burning yellow and jagged, sharp teeth protruding out from his mouth… You took a few steps back, and noticed Ryder grip his axe firm again, and sniffle away any tears that were threatening to fall earlier. The two of you shared a look, now realizing that this was it--now or never.

Both of you charged at him with full force, as he roared and readied himself to face you. The clown used one of his hands to push you back from him as Ryder went and lodged his axe right into the clown’s skull. You watched in disgust as his axe had gotten stuck in the clowns head, and he had to jimmy it free, all the while the clown was roaring and whining in pain. But you did it--you managed to injure him once again. Now you just had to keep that up until he couldn’t take it anymore. 

As soon as he jimmied it out, Ryder fell to the floor as the clown tripped him by grabbing Ryder’s leg, now climbing over on top of him. He began to open his jaw, like a wild beast that had caught its prey. Not wanting to let Pennywise have the advantage, you lunged yourself at the beast and threw yourself onto his back. Suddenly, it was like you were on one of those crazy bull-riding machines. You latched onto him with all your might, but the clown was bucking wildly, and twisting incessantly, trying to throw you off. And he did manage to.

You hit the ground with a heavy thud, but you didn’t hit your head, and it wasn’t enough to put you out of commission, thank god. And it seemed to work as a well enough distraction for Ryder to gather himself again.

The clown once again went after Ryder, charging at him despite the giant scar in his head. It was red, and looked like flesh, but it didn’t seem to bleed at all…

You tried to stop him by swinging your shovel in his face once again, but he grabbed it this time. 

Easily, with one hand. 

Oh dear.

You held your breath as Pennywise turned to face you this time. Rows upon rows of teeth exposing themself to you….You thought for a second, he was finally going to take his long-awaited bite out of you…

But he didn’t.

Instead, he took his jaw and wrapped it around the stick of your shovel. In one clean, loud, CHOMP! He had split it in two, and spit the remaining half back at you. 

You backed away, having been rendered weaponless in a matter of seconds. You were sure the clown was going to take this opportunity to take you down once and for all…

But he didn’t. 

Instead, he roared once more and turned to face Ryder again.

And when he did…

Ryder went haywire.

You had never seen him look as mad as he did then when he was swinging that axe right at the clowns face. You almost couldn’t process it all, it was all happening so fast. Every hit seemed to weaken the clown even more. It was almost as if he had stopped trying to fight back. Or, that he was trying his hardest…but he really was just that weak in the end. How could something that caused so much destruction for...decades, maybe even centuries...become so weak in a matter of seconds?

You were sure you had him now. 

He was up against the wall, panting and gasping for air...coughing and sputtering as if he couldn’t breathe any. Then, he sunk to the floor. Now he was on all fours, every limb trembling as Ryder approached closer, huffing in each step. 

You expected Pennywise to do many things.

Maybe roar at Ryder again, loudly enough to get him to hesitate. Maybe attempt to run away, melt into the floorboards, and hide until he was ready to face you again. Maybe even attempt to disguise himself as Ryder‘s daughter once again, as a final effort to get him to stop.

But he didn’t do any of those things.

Instead, he faced you.

And stared.

You were almost caught off guard, with how intently he was staring at you. He could do any number of things to attempt to save himself right now, but he was shifting all his focus onto you. His yellow eyes, piercing straight through yours. And the look he was giving you… it was the strangest thing. As if he was...counting on you. Expecting you to do something. Expecting you to step in, with a look that read ‘What the hell are you just standing there for?! Help me!’

You were utterly confused by it all. It was as if time had slowed to a halt. Your body felt like it was on fire, as did your mind. What was he trying to accomplish? Why was he, in his most vulnerable state, focused on you?

And then it kind of hit you.

Not in waves but just...all at once, it struck you.

All the times, the clown could have killed you, but didn’t.

All the times he could have easily let you suffer.

You remembered the time you almost got hit by that truck...but you didn’t. You wound up safe on the other side of the road.

You thought about how hungry you were just a few days ago, and about how the clown didn’t let you starve, even if he easily could have.

You thought back to just last night, and how the monster attacked and killed all those children.

But not you.

He didn’t even try to kill you.

Even now, when you and Ryder had come to kill him yourselves, he only ever tried to “attack” Ryder. When it came to you, he kept just...tossing you to the side.

You think the clowns weakness was the very thing he thrived upon. Fear. Because once you had attacked him, he became afraid, and then he became weak.

But, no, that wasn’t quite it either. It wasn’t just when you attacked him.

You began to think the clown might’ve actually been weakened this whole time.

You began to think that...with all he had done…

The clown had actually begun to like you.

Even love you.

And that scared him.

You’re not sure what came over you--whether it was out of pity or confusion or whatever else was running through your mind--but when Ryder lifted his axe once more to swing it into Pennywise’s being, you stood between them. The metal of the blade just barely scraped your skin as he quickly jerked it away once you did what you did.

“What the fuck are you doing kid?!” he yelled at you.

“I...I don’t know, I don’t know!” Was the only thing you could return with. 

You really didn’t know what you were doing. Honestly, you didn’t. You were so intent on killing the beast once and for all, after seeing the atrocities he committed last night. Knowing he did that to countless others. Knowing he would keep doing it, if you allowed him the opportunity. And yet, for some reason, you couldn’t allow him to die. Not after realizing how he kept you around. Not just because he wanted to eat you, but because he...he wanted you there, didn’t he? And because of that, something about you couldn’t just let him go.

If he really did love you....

As despicable and terrible as it was, you couldn’t just let him die, even though he deserved to more than anyone else.

Because he loved you.

And as much as you tried to convince yourself otherwise…  
You loved him too.

Fuck.

“Kid, move it!” Ryder shouted at you, attempting to push you out of the way. You stood your ground as you fought against him.

“No, it-it’s okay! He’s not going to hurt anyone like this, please give me a minute and I’ll--”

“KID!”

That was the last thing you heard, before your vision went dark.

But you weren’t dead yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter done! I won't lie, I've been writing all day trying to pre-prep things, and if I'm honest...I think we are actually beginning to near the end!(Don't hate me!! ;w;;) All good things have to come to an end eventually, right? 
> 
> It's not that I don't enjoy writing this fic, it was a lot of fun! But I think there's only so long I can stretch it for, and I'd hate to drag things on and turn it into a bore because of that! Don't worry, though, there's still a few more chapters on the way!(I'm planning on ending it on Chapter 20, it looks like right now!) And I've planned the ending in such a way that if I ever want to revisit this fic, I can do so in a more spaced manner as the ideas come to me! 
> 
> And just because I'm not writing this specific fic anymore doesn't mean I won't write more things in the future! Like I said, I might revisit this fic, or even write some oneshots if I have the inspiration for them! It's just that I think this fic is nearing the end of its journey, but it was sure a fun one! I had been writing it since September, and now it's almost January! It's crazy how the time flies, and I'm glad I got to spend that time entertaining you all too with my silly writings!
> 
> Again, thank you all SO SO SOOOOOO much for all your support! It's been such an honor to have you all read and enjoy my work! I'm very happy I was able to provide this story to you, and to have you all join me for the ride! :'D I hope these last coming chapters will make for a nice wrap-up to it all! 
> 
> In other talk, it was Christmas just yesterday, and Hanukkah is still ongoing! I hope no matter what you celebrate, that this is a great holiday season for you all, and I hope this chapter is a good present from me to you!  
Did you get anything special this year? My secret santa got me a pose-able Pennywise figure and I'm so happy! :') I hope you got something nice too, and that the rest of this season treats you kindly! I'll be back with another chapter next week!


	18. The Sewer

You don’t know what happened.

You weren’t dead, that was for sure, but…

You were worried about who might be, when you opened your eyes again and found yourself in a strange new location.

It was hard to see, waiting for your eyes to adjust to the light and all...but it smelled like absolute shit in here.

How appropriate, to match the way you were feeling right now.

Every bone in your body seemed to ache all at once. Like they had been crushed, or were being crushed, by something extraordinarily heavy. Of course, you knew there was nothing there, but whatever knocked you the fuck out earlier definitely took its toll on your body. 

Right when you thought one part hurt the most, another part seemed to scream at you that it was feeling way worse. Every time you tried to move, it felt like you were trying to stretch with broken bones. But everything seemed to be intact...you were pretty sure. Your head was plenty dizzy, and the world around you seemed to be revolving, even though you knew you were sitting perfectly still. But it was as if you couldn’t focus on one thing, everything just continued to blur and spin the more you tried your best to focus. You hoped you didn’t have a concussion. 

You decided to just lay there for a while, and let your senses come to you as they did. 

Smell was first, of course. You’re not sure if you’d ever get used to this smell. It--literally--smelled like shit. As if you visited an animal farm after a storm, or walked into a public bathroom that had yet to be cleaned, with all the smells being amplified 100%.

The longer you laid there, the more your body began to feel a bit better. A little bit of rest can go a long way sometimes. You gradually felt your balance begin to feel restored, and the world didn’t spin around quite so much. Your eyes began to become accustomed to the light in here. In fact, it was actually lighter in here than you first thought. Maybe you were just that delirious, or maybe it took a bit for the light to actually show itself. At first, it was hard to see mostly anything. But your eyes began to adapt to the light that was in here--wherever this was.

There was light, leaking in from the ceiling. Could you call it a ceiling? Whatever it was, light dripped down from it and illuminated what it could. It was so, so, so very far up, though. At the very least, it made the space feel less claustrophobic. You looked around you some more. The walls in here looked to be…metal, and there were no corners. It seemed to just be a very wide, rounded shape. Like one giant...tube you were trapped in. A...pipe maybe. The look of it, aided by the smell and the moistness in the air...Were you in the sewers? It was the only place you could think that you would be.

You looked closer, towards the light. In the middle of wherever you were, there was a very tall tower, but once you squinted at it, you could see that it wasn’t quite a tower. More like a...large pile. A bunch of things, stacked together. It was hard to see exactly what it was, but it towered and spiraled in the center of the “room”, almost as tall as the “ceiling”.

There was stuff...floating around it too. It was hard to tell what it was from down here. You were still a little dizzy, and you couldn’t quite figure out the shape. It was like debris, that had fallen off from whatever this strange, dark tower was. And yet, it floated and spiraled around it. As if made of magic…

You would say the sight was unlike anything you had ever seen, but at this point in your life, you had seen quite enough.

Thanks to you-know-who.

Suddenly, your senses shifted to whatever you were sitting on right now. Rather than look up, you shifted your gaze down to whatever was holding you here presently. You were a few feet off the ground, it seemed. You yourself were also resting on a pile of...something. You ran your hands across it, and felt your hands brush against different pieces of...fabric? You picked up something from right under you, and tried to hold it in front of you, to see it better in the light.

A jacket, it looked like. One far too small for you to wear. It was a denim jacket, and on the side there seemed to be a little, shiny, pink butterfly embroidered into it. It looked like the kind of jacket a little girl would wear. It wasn’t even that dirty. You gently placed it back into the pile as you picked out something else from besides you. A pair of pajama pants, it looked like. It was soft, but in the way dirty things hold their softness. Coarse, but still soft. When you looked closely, there seemed to be little bears printed onto the fabric. Again, these seemed much too small for someone of your size. You shuffled through a few of the other things in the pile. A glittery tutu, an old softball jersey, a small winter coat… These were definitely children’s clothes that you had been laying on top of. 

Slightly disturbed, you eased your way off the small pile, trying not to slip on your way down. Your feet eventually land themselves into a little puddle at the base of the pile. Even through your shoes, you could tell this water was not clean. You winced a bit in disgust as you stepped out of it. You were glad you weren’t wearing your favorite shoes, because you could already tell there was no way you’d be getting the smell out. Taking a deep breath, you took careful steps towards the tower in the center. You were sure that...it...was hiding around here somewhere, so you had to be careful with every place you stepped and everywhere you looked. So, you decided to inspect that big, dark tower before you. 

It seemed to be made of the same stuff as your pile--and then some. 

Childrens clothes, yes, but also their toys. Like a small red wagon that still looked a bit new, lodged between an old dollhouse and an opened jack-in-the-box that was barely recognizable anymore. There were dolls, and plushes, toy cars, telescopes,paddleballs, costume jewelry, and more. You saw a great mixture of items, ranging from all shapes, sizes, and even time periods. Some stuff looked like it could belong in a museum, while others looked as if they were picked straight from the store just yesterday. It was such a...strange accumulation of items. 

But was it really?

The clown brought you here, after all. You were sure of that much, of course you were. So, then, this must have been the place he stored all his…things. And most of these things seemed to be children’s clothing, as well as their toys. It...made sense, in a weird way. Clothing isn’t exactly edible, and surely he’d need some place to...put them, when he was done...You assumed he just spit them back out, like the pits of cherries. But why all the toys, too? Perhaps they just...happened to be using them, and the clown had no other place to put them, either. Or...maybe he liked to collect them. A keepsake, a memory for every new child that was unlucky enough to run into him. 

How cruel.

You continued to circle the tower, looking back and forth between it and the walls. There were a few circular openings, like grand archways, but they were all pitch black just a few steps in. You weren’t about to try and explore those areas, at least not without a flashlight, or something to light your way. 

As you continued to circle, you came across something new on the other side. It was big, for one thing, and seemed to be made of some sort of wood...You were cautious as you approached it.

Upon closer inspection, you came to realize it was a wagon. A circus wagon, to be exact, as when you squinted to get a good look at the front, it read “PENNYWISE THE DANCING CLOWN”, and featured an illustration of a clown that didn’t look...quite like Pennywise you were used to. Close, but definitely no cigar. 

You wondered where the hell this had come from, and how it even managed to get down here in the first place. 

You wondered if the clown you knew based his appearance on the one seen here. Did he just like it that much?...Well, clearly he thought it could’ve used some design changes, because he didn’t look quite like the painted clown here. 

You wondered for a second...was he in here?

Should...should you knock?

If...if he hadn’t killed you yet, then he probably wouldn’t now...right?

After all, you were pretty sure that he…

No, you were absolutely sure at this point that he liked you. He must have.

Because why would you even be here if he didn’t?

You would’ve been dead by now if he didn’t. 

He would’ve killed you for attempting to kill him…

...But he liked you too much, and you knew that now.

Taking a nervous gulp anyways, you lifted your arm and knocked against the door on the side of wooden wagon. 

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

...No response.

You tried again.

But still, it didn’t seem as if there was anyone inside.

Or, if there was, they were doing a good job at pretending they weren’t. 

You sighed, and turned back around, to continue exploring the area.

Except you didn’t even make it one step without bumping into something.

Or rather, someone. 

You’d recognize that red puffball that sat in front of your face anywhere.

You looked up at him.

Even with the strange lighting in here, you could still make him out perfectly.

Especially with those haunting yellow eyes of his.

“Snooping, are we?” He asked. His voice was low, but not exactly threatening. The scars that had been left on him during the scuffle had since disappeared.

“...No. I’m not.” You answered, so calm it surprised almost yourself. That you could just...talk to him, and answer him, as if any of this was normal. “If I was snooping, then I wouldn’t have knocked.”

Almost pretending as if the fight never happened. As if he caught you in your house, or at work, rather than acknowledging he brought you here. 

You were now sandwiched between Pennywise and his wagon. And despite the fact that you completely cornered, in a location you were completely unfamiliar with, you didn’t feel the slightest bit afraid, even though you had been a bit nervous just seconds ago.

Did you finally get used to it all?

Or did you just feel differently, because you were pretty sure that Pennywise…well.

“What happened?” You asked him, completely innocently. You didn’t want to start interrogating him about Ryder directly, right off the bat. It might piss Pennywise off. And if...if Ryder was safe, you didn’t want to endanger him any further. 

“Oh, old Pennywise took care of everything…” He began to lean over you once again. Some things never change, do they? You were sure he enjoyed casting you in his shadow, as he always did. “...Don’t worry about any of it.”

“...Where am I?” You asked, changing the topic slightly and briefly. Though, you noticed his face seemed a bit...different than usual. Hard to describe, but certainly...different. Maybe he could sense you weren’t scared anymore. 

“You tell me.” he answered. He wasn’t quite as...goofy as he usually portrayed himself. No chuckling or giggles or smiles this time around. He seemed a bit more serious. And yet, despite that, this was the least threatened you ever felt around him. 

You took another big whiff of the place just to be sure, and gagged shortly afterwards. 

“...The sewers?”

Pennywise simply nodded at you. 

“...Is this home?” You asked him. “...Your real home?”

He didn’t say anything. Just kept staring at you, as you kept your place between him and his wagon. So, you continued, if he wasn’t going to talk. 

“...All your stuff is here. I see you’ve...collected a lot over the years.” You looked around the both of you, and then back up at him. He was still just staring you down. “I remember you used to tell me I smelled bad…but I don’t see how I could’ve possibly smelled worse than this.” 

Silence. 

Deafening silence. 

You’re sure he was waiting for the question, even if you tried to delay it.

You sighed to yourself once again.

“...Where is Ryder?” You finally asked, looking up again to see his painted smile return to him once more.

“Why…” he started, a giggle escaping from his lips. “...I think he’s just...floating off on his own somewhere.”

...Floating?

Oh.

Oh dear. 

You rushed away from your cornered position, but it was clear you weren’t attempting to run away. 

You looked up.

Up, and up, and up…

Towards the light.

All that floating debris…It wasn’t debris at all. 

Those were people.

You could see the shape of them now.

Their arms, their legs, their heads…

The way their clothes limply hung around them. Their clothes didn’t quite float like their bodies did.

One of these...one of these was Ryder. You’re not sure which--but one was definitely him.

Shit.

You turned to Pennywise. You were afraid now, but for Ryder’s sake, not your own. 

“...Is he dead?” you asked, fighting back the urge to stutter over your words. You weren’t even sure you wanted to know the answer.

“Soooooome of them aaaaaare…” he responded, smile stretching ever wider. That didn’t quite answer your question. But...it did make it sound like Ryder was okay. At least, there was a chance that he was. 

“...Please, let him go.” you asked, now facing Pennywise fully again.

All he did was laugh at you, even holding his hands to his stomach as he did. Like it was the funniest joke he heard in a LONG time. He was practically doubling over in laughter! And all you could do was stand there, and wait for him to stop.

“Now, now, now, why would I ever do something like that?”

So, you answered him. Now fairly confident in the reasoning to why he did things the way he did.

“...Because you love me.”

The clown paused, and then.... simply laughed at you once again. Though, you could sense it...It was a bit weaker this time. Like he was nervous that you had finally caught on. He was trying to cover it up, even though it’s what had saved him from Ryder’s wrath earlier. 

“...It’s okay. I...I love you too.” You admitted. It was weird, saying it out loud. And, being pretty sure you meant it. It felt wrong to say. Horrendously wrong. He...killed people after all. Adults, children...Ryder’s daughter. What a terrible person you felt like to love someone like that. No one should love someone so awful. And yet, it still held the refreshingness of speaking the truth. It was like the weight of the situation couldn’t decide if it wanted to be lifted from your shoulders or not. But, even still...you’re pretty sure it felt better to finally say it in the end. Regardless of the form he took, he...he was still the person you fell in love with....and haven’t quite fallen out of love with, as shameful as it was. “I’m not just saying that to get you off my back, or anything like that. I’m...I’m sure you can tell that it’s true.”

“I don’t love you.” Pennywise teased, waltzing over to confront you about it. “I just like to play. That’s all. That’s all! What kind of clown would I be if I didn’t?”

You took a step towards him. He took a step back.

...Precisely.

“You don’t love me?” you questioned. For once, you felt as if you were in the clown’s shoes. 

You were the one who had the advantage here. 

“...Would you kiss me, then?”

Pennywise seemed a bit flabbergasted at your question. As much as he tried to hide it, it was clear that he was baffled to hear you say it. He tried to keep his serious expression, but there was no way he could hide the way his eyebrows jumped when the words left your mouth.

“...For what reason?” he asked in return. “What would that prove?”

You took a step closer to him, and he didn’t back away this time. Though he looked like he wanted to.

“...If you really don’t love me, then it shouldn’t mean anything to you, right?” you told him, staring back into his yellowed eyes once more. “Just like with Gray...it didn’t mean anything when you kissed me that first time, did it? So, it shouldn’t mean anything now, if you really don’t love me, right?”

The clown gazed back at you. His expression...it seemed confused, and puzzled, and worried, and more...He was hesitant.

“...It’s okay if you love me, you know.” You smiled at him, trying to make the best of the weirdest situation you never thought you might find yourself in. “...I’m still not really used to being in love with you either.”

The clown knelt down to your level.

It looked like he wanted to prove himself to you. 

He wanted to prove he could kiss you and not have it mean anything. 

You stared at him before it happened. 

And you thought about it. 

...You really loved him, didn’t you? Despite all the shit he put you through. Despite all the times he tried to kill you. Despite...despite seeing those awful things he did. Even though it made you hate him, made you boil in anger...made your bones shake with rage, and your mind buzz with the most dreadful memories...That feeling in your heart never changed, did it? Even after everything that had happened...you still loved the thing you told yourself you hated the most. It was just something out of your control, and it was time to finally address that issue. 

You looked at him. You’re sure he was feeling the same things that you were. After all...it was something out of his control too. For, if he had been in control, you were sure he would’ve eaten you long ago. 

Delicately, you raised your hands to cup his face. He blinked as you did so. He looked so...strangely innocent. And even a little scared. 

You thought about the countless lives that passed through those jaws.

Chomped, gnashed, shredded. Eaten.

You closed your eyes.

You kissed him.

...His lips were soft. 

You felt his hands reach to wrap around your own as it continued. 

And then it stopped.

You held your forehead against his for just a moment…

...then, you parted yourself from him.

He looked as if he had just realized the full extent of the situation. 

...And he agreed to let Ryder go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I bet you thought we might not kiss him again! Hehe!<3
> 
> I don't really have a lot to say this time around, I've been very busy with real life, but I'm still glad I was able to get this part out on time! Thank you all for sticking with me throughout the story, and for always being so kind week after week! Even though we haven't got many chapters left, I'm glad you've stuck around this long and I hope you'll continue to see it through to the end! Thank you for all the endless support! 
> 
> New Years just passed, and I hope that your 2020 is as best as it can be! Here's hoping your week AND year is as wonderful as you could hope for!


	19. The Penultimate

“Hey, get up! Get up!” you laughed, nudging your friend as he lay unconscious on the creaky old floor of the Neibolt house. You’d keep shaking him and talking to him until he woke up. He was bound to. “We won!”

It took a moment, but Ryder did end up opening his eyes after a little bit. He seemed tired, and beat-up, and not fully there...but he was definitely ok. Thank goodness. He groaned as he woke, before groggily turning to face you. 

“...Huh?”

You helped him sit up a bit, a smile wide across your face. Kneeling beside him, you beamed at him, and cheered “We did it! YOU did it, Ryder! It’s dead!”

“It...It’s dead?” he questioned. He was still kinda...waking up.

“It’s dead!” You lied.

In actuality, what had happened was, well…

You kissed Pennywise again, to prove that he loved you. And you guess that must’ve proven true, because he agreed to let Ryder go for you. He led you away, and through the sewers. Guiding you away from what you assumed to be his real home. You didn’t talk much after it. The situation was awkward enough as it was. In one arm, he carried Ryder, slumping him over his shoulder like some sort of fireman’s carry. In his other hand, he held yours. Mostly just so you wouldn’t get lost or separated from him...or so he said.

He brought you to a ladder, and when you climbed it, you were surprised to see that it led you into the basement of the Neibolt house. The room with the well, that you had entered once before. And now here you were, climbing out of the well like...some sort of horror movie monster yourself. You now understood why he was in the Neibolt house so often, despite how empty it was--it was connected to his real home. 

You walked back out into the dining room, and he let go of your hand. He left Ryder on the floor for you, laying him on his back like Sleeping Beauty. You watched as Pennywise stood still there for a moment, before he made his way towards the basement and towards the well again.

It seemed as though he was feeling...defeated, in a way. You knew and he knew you both liked one another now, as bizarre and unthinkable as it might be. He couldn’t hide that feeling or deny it from you any longer. And the more he tried to avoid confronting it, the worse things got.

But you knew now, and there was no helping that fact. 

And even though he might’ve hated that feeling of love, he loved you too much to do anything to hurt you at this point. 

He gave one last look back at you. Though you knew it wasn’t going to be the last time you’d be seeing him. 

He just needed to leave before Ryder woke up again, that was all. 

So he did.

And then you woke up Ryder, lying and telling him that the terrific monster that stole his daughter from him was dead.

The amount of guilt hiding behind your smile was immeasurable. 

Ryder almost couldn’t believe it. Of course, how could he? It’s not like he saw it. So, it was up to you to string about a tall tale of what had happened. You told Ryder that Pennywise must’ve knocked him out after he knocked you out. You awoke shortly after, to find him panicking about the scar on his head caused by Ryder’s axe. You said that you picked up Ryder’s axe again and bashed him one last time. The clown fell to the ground with a deafening screech, and then laid lifeless across the floor. Then, his body fell apart like ash, until it completely disappeared. You told him you no longer felt the clown’s presence. Like he really was gone this time, and you had Ryder to thank for it. 

You apologized for trying to protect the clown earlier. You don’t know what came over you. You must’ve just been...possessed, or something crazy like that.

Yeah, it was definitely something crazy. 

Ryder sat up completely, and he... gave you a smile. He believed you. He had no reason not to, after all. 

“...Shit, kid. Was that really all it took?” He...he laughed. A genuine laugh. One of victory. You felt happy hearing it, even if you knew your victory was completely fabricated in the end. It was still nice to hear him believe it.

You helped him off of the floor, and once you were both standing, he wrapped his arms around you in an unexpectedly tight hug. It felt warm, and nice...like the hug of an old friend. You hugged him return, even though you knew you didn’t deserve it. God, you really didn’t. 

You stood like that for a while. You’re not sure how long. But you could tell, even without seeing his face, Ryder was smiling the whole time. 

He deserved that.

To feel like he won.

To feel like his daughter was avenged. 

If only you were strong enough to actually have gone through with it. 

Even when your hug finished, Ryder still held onto your arms. His smile was so wide, as if you had done something right by him. You knew that wasn’t true, but he deserved to feel like it was. And he was looking at you with so much pride...like you were his kid who just graduated highschool, or the person who saved his life.

Maybe in a way, you were...

“C’mon kid. Let’s get out of here.” he asked, smiling wider than you had ever seen. Had you ever seen him smile before this? Perhaps you had, but...none where as genuine and happy as this one. You couldn’t remember seeing him smile in a way like this before. But boy, was it nice to see.

“And go where?” You asked, smiling back at him.

“Anywhere we fuckin’ want! It’s our town now, ha-HA!” he beamed, as the two of you marched out the house together. 

You took one back look inside…

...You’re sure you’d see that clown again soon.

You and Ryder ended up going out for dinner. And Ryder insisted he pay for it all, even though you felt terrible making him pay. But he wanted to--as a thank you for how you helped him. 

That just made you feel all the more terrible about it. You ordered the least expensive thing you could, if that in any way made up for the guilt you were feeling over the whole thing. 

At the end of the day, Ryder brought you back home. He promised he’d keep in touch with you. After all--after what you just did together, he considered you two inseparable now. You thanked him for being so generous to you, and then said your goodbyes as you wearily entered the door of your house, for the first time in who-knows-how-long.

Your house looked like a tornado blew through it as you stepped inside. Throw pillows and blankets were tossed onto the floor. Tiny items like pencils, paperclips, rolls of tape, paper--scattered everywhere. It scared you for a moment, before you remembered the police had been looking for you back when you first went into hiding. They must’ve made everything a mess once they finally got inside your house. You sighed, partly in relief, and partly because you knew you’d have to clean all this up eventually...but, that could wait until tomorrow. Or the day after...Or, whenever...

You walked up the stairs. They creaked, but significantly less than that old, rotting home you had been staying in before. It was nice, to not have to worry about them breaking under your feet. To be in your house again, for once.

But as you walked into your room, you were greeted with a familiar sight before you. 

A clown, sitting on the foot of your bed like a gargoyle, eyeing you with cautious eyes in the dimly-lit room.

But you weren’t scared this time.

You walked over to him, and extended your hand out.

Hesitantly, he took it. Curling his fingers around yours, nervously. Like some kind of highschool kid, nervous about his first relationship. You couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself at the thought of it.

Carefully, you gestured for him to lay back on your bed, to relax. And you followed. 

And then, there you were.

Lying on your backs together, on top of your bed.

It could barely fit the two of you together, but you didn’t mind.

In a way, it was almost as if you were star-gazing.

But you weren’t.

Just staring at your dark ceiling, wanting to avoid talking about all the things you should.

It was astonishing how just about 24 hours ago, you watched this monster tear three people to shreds. 

Completely devour them.

Innocent souls, lost forever...

And now here you were.

Awkwardly in...love, was that right?

“...What happens now?” You asked, looking straight at the ceiling, even if there was nothing to be seen there.

It was followed by silence...you figured once again you would have to keep up the talking.

That was fine. You were both processing a lot right now. 

You could feel his breathing through the silk of his suit. You wondered...if he actually needed to breath at all. Maybe he was just trying to seem more human than he was.

Maybe he wasn’t so different from humans after all.]

After all...humans always held the capacity to be the same kind of monster. 

“...You won’t stop eating them, will you?” You asked, already sadly knowing the answer.

“...You won’t have to worry about that.” he replied, following it with a yawn. You could tell he yawned on purpose. It was way too phony and fake-sounding to have been real. “...Pennywise thinks he’ll go to rest early, this time around…”

“This time around?” You repeated, now sitting up and looking down at him. He continued to lay there, hands folded, and eyes blazing towards the ceiling. “You’re leaving me? For another 30 years or so?”

“Are you scared?” He asked in return, cracking a smile. He always did like you best that way, after all. “...Iiiiiii won’t be far…”

He reached one hand up to grab at your shoulder. His touch was always firm, but this time it held more...softness to it. It was refreshing.

“You’re still carrying a piece of me, aren’t you?”

Oh, shit.

You had almost completely forgotten about your shoulder. 

You guess you just got used to the feeling of your bite always flaring up and then cooling down again.

It had mostly healed again, for the second time around. If you looked closely, you could see faint circles of where his teeth had been. But other than that, everything looked fine. 

“...Was that your intention the whole time?” you asked, laying beside him once more, folding your hands in a similar fashion. You relaxed yourself again. You weren’t sure what came over you just then to make you sit up so abruptly.

Well, you were sure, but you still weren’t sure how to process it.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he chuckled. He always sounded like such a goofball when he looked like this. Just like the first day you met him.

That day…none of this ever would’ve happened if it weren’t for that day. You might never have met Ryder. You might have never left your old job. Your old manager might still have been alive...but would those teenagers be? How many lives did you manage to save during the times you were with the clown? 

You’d probably never know.

But he was going to bed early, right?

So, surely…

...you were saving more people in the end.

And maybe that made it all worth it.

You hoped it did.

“...You were my first friend, you know.” You told him. “Here in Derry.”

He didn’t respond to it. 

You could feel his soft breathing besides you.

You still wondered if it was real...

“...Will I ever see you again?” You asked him. It was...strange, how sad that question made you feel now. You never expected it would. You never expected any of this.

“..Heheh.” He giggled, as you began to feel yourself get more light-headed with each second that passed. You already knew what was happening. You were falling asleep, even though you didn’t quite want to just yet. And yet, you couldn’t control it. It was happening against your will.

“...I think you’ll be seeing me sooner than you expect.”

That was the last thing you heard before you completely dozed off.

When you woke up the next morning, Pennywise had completely disappeared.

But of course, he didn’t leave without leaving something behind for you..

A balloon. A red balloon, still floating in the air, whose string was tied tightly and firmly around your wrist.

A red balloon...

With bold white text that read “I ❤ DERRY” across the front.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!! I am SO sorry for uploading this chapter a bit late!
> 
> I unexpectedly ended up having a LOT of things happen! It just wasn't possible for me to upload last night, I'm sorry! But since I'm awake now, I figured I would upload as soon as I could!
> 
> I hope you're all having a great week so far!! Once again, thank you all for following me and supporting me through all of this! You're all the best, and it'd sad that we are nearing the end! I'll miss hearing from you guys! But I'm always wishing you all well!
> 
> Don't worry though, this won't be the last time you see him! I swear! So stay tuned for our finale, It'll be there sometime next week!


	20. The End

It’s been a while.

A few weeks, actually.

A lot has happened since then.

Well maybe not a LOT a lot, but a good amount of things had been happening.

For starters, you were finally declared not-missing. You confirmed you were okay with the proper authorities. They said they were “So happy” to see you safe. Haha! That was funny. You also found it funny how all of them just conveniently skipped over mentioning that you were a wanted suspect at any point. Very funny indeed. Maybe it was better that way, though. No need to stir up anything. Trouble was best avoided, in any way you could avoid it. If it was water under the bridge, then you were more than fine never even GOING NEAR that bridge again.  
You still weren’t sure about whoever was arrested in your place, for a while. You always felt it wasn’t right for someone to be arrested for something they didn’t do, especially for a crime as vile as this. You thought about maybe starting some sort of campaign to help them, or something. After all, an innocent person shouldn’t be going to jail over something you did. 

It was a good thing you didn’t say anything, though. For, when you skimmed through the newspaper one slow morning at work, you saw an article about the person they did arrest. Turns out he wasn’t just arrested for the murder of your boss. Although they blamed him for it, he had plenty other skeletons hiding in the closet.

...Literally.

You had no idea a killer that WASN’T the clown was even living in your town, but hell, at least he was behind bars now. You wondered if that was Pennywise’s doing as well...heh. Maybe he just didn’t like the competition.

Oh! Work!

That’s right!

You were able to keep your job, thankfully. The therapist's office is nice, and treats you much better than your old job would ever have. You find it...surprisingly easy, talking with your coworkers. They’re all very friendly faces, and unlike your past coworkers, they actually bother to talk to you! In fact, you even have plans with a group of them to see a movie this weekend. And wouldn’t you know? It was a horror movie they wanted to see! They even started making bets amongst themselves as to who would get scared the most. Jokes on them, though. You were pretty sure nothing could scare you at this point. 

You also noticed...one patient, who comes in from time to time. It’s J. Or, rather, Jocelyn, as you recently learned, reading her name off your patient list. It seemed that the incident with your old manager really screwed her up. After all, she was the one to find the body…

But, she’s been getting better. Smiling again. She’s not quite the same old Jocelyn--or J--that you once knew. But she’s okay. You can see it in her. Every new time you see her face, it’s like she forgets just a little bit more…

Maybe one day, she really will be able to forget completely. You hoped so.

But she still remembers you. Always remembers to say hi, and greet you by your name whenever she’s on the other side of that counter. She always seems genuinely happy to see you.

You’re happy to see her. 

And then, of course, there’s Ryder…

Ever since you woke him up, back in the old Neibolt house, he seems a bit...brighter. His face doesn’t hang so heavy anymore. He smiles now, more than ever. His eyes don’t look as tired as they once did. He just seems...so, so much happier. 

You’re thankful for that, even knowing what the truth of the situation was. 

You had thought that, after you “defeated” the clown together, he might just stop talking to you. Move on with his own life--hell, maybe even move out of Derry now that he no longer had a reason to stay. After all, you had thought this place may only bring him misery. Remind him of his daughter, and all…

But to your surprise, when you woke him up, told him that the clown was dead, it was quite the opposite. 

Ryder seemed more comfortable living here than ever. And in fact, the two of you had even discussed moving in together. 

Why not, you know? You were both two lonely souls who could both use a bit of help paying the bills every month. Besides, without his daughter around, you could only imagine how hard it was for Ryder to be living alone all the time… You were sure he would appreciate the company.

You would too. 

It would be a nice change, to follow with the seasons themselves finally starting to turn.

Summer was on its last leg, and the cool breezes that rattled the turning leaves on the trees signaled that. No more long, sun-soaked days of happiness. The nights were soon to become cold and unforgiving. No more water-balloon tosses that left the surrounding grass muddy. Bicycle rides would begin to slow if the snow starts up. Dog walkers would be far less patient, and few and far between. Ice cream trucks wouldn’t show their faces again until the next summer in Derry. 

And here you were now, gazing out the window, watching as the leaves began to fall, and the sun set earlier than it had yesterday. And you knew it would set even earlier tomorrow, and even earlier the day after that. 

“Are you still hungry?” You heard Ryder call from the kitchen.

Your kitchen. 

You guys had been sleeping over each other’s houses, trying to decide whose house it was you would ultimately move into. Truthfully, it didn’t matter much to you. You were just happy to not have to be alone anymore. 

“No, I’m not hungry. Just...really tired.” You responded. “I think I’m going to bed early.”

“Fair enough! Don’t forget to brush your teeth first, though.” Ryder joked to you. Heh. He really was a dad deep down, wasn’t he?

You replied with a simple “I woooon’t!” to him as you ascended your staircase once again, rubbing the shoulder of a bite that doesn’t even leave a mark anymore. Ryder slept downstairs on your couch, so you knew you probably wouldn’t be seeing him for the rest of the night. 

You laid back in your bed. Pulled the sheets all the way up--weather was getting colder after all, but still not quite cold enough to put on the heat just yet. You relaxed yourself, taking deep breaths and making sure you were calm, before drifting off into a nice, peaceful sleep…

And then you woke up!

But not really.

You were awake, but in a dream. And you were aware of this. 

And you knew that he was, too. 

...A circus, this time?

How original.

You wandered past it all. The colorful striped tents, the twinkling lights, the aroma of cotton candy filling the air...All of it so beautiful, and yet so empty. No attendees behind the booths. No parents holding the hands of their children, guiding them through the place, carrying them on their shoulders or creating fun memories. No tired, sweaty, food station employees that couldn’t wait to go home and shower. 

Did he really not have it in him to make people?

Well, that was fine. It’s not like they were real, anyways.

And then, you found him. Hanging upside down from a tree, by his legs, eyes closed. As if he had fallen asleep like this.

As if he could fall asleep in a dream. 

“What are you doing?” You asked him oh-so nonchalantly as you approached. 

He opened his eyes. They were yellow at first, then quickly shifted to blue, and a smile spread across his face as he answered.

“Oh, I’m just ‘Hanging Around!’ Eheheheeeeee….” he seethed, drool dripping past his face. You laughed as he miscalculated, almost getting it in his eye. 

This has been your new standard of seeing Pennywise. 

Every night, when you go to bed, you awake in your dreams, and you see him.

At first, you had thought it was nothing more than just that--a dream--that ever since the clown disappeared from Derry, you had been dreaming up seeing him.

But, according to him, that wasn’t quite the case. 

He was, indeed, planning to take his long sleep. And to sleep he did go. But, somewhere in his dreams, YOU were the one who started showing up. 

It seemed to you that you were both aware here, in this strange, shared dreamscape…

How curious?

Perhaps you still would’ve dismissed it as a dream if it were just a few, stray nights here and there.

But every night, you found yourself back here. In a realm of the clown’s own creation. 

Some nights it’d be in the sewers again. Murky, smelly, unpleasant…You still weren’t quite sure of that looming tower in the middle... Some nights, it’d be the house--the Neibolt House--except looking much more...clean, and...functional than in the real world. Almost as if he took the house back to a state where it was still being lived in. And then, some nights, it’d be a place like this. A circus. He did seem to have a thing for clowns, after all.

That’s okay. You did too. 

You kept things calm, whenever you were in this dream realm. You never really discussed the things he did in the past, or what he would do when he woke up again...you’d cross that bridge when you get to it. You had around 27 years to figure it out, so hopefully you’d be prepared by then.

You still felt guilty, knowing all the things he did, and what he did to Ryder and his family. But you’d...you’d figure out how you were going to deal with all those feelings too, eventually. You did have a few decades of time to sort it all out, after all. 

But for now, it was...nice.

To be able to exist like this, and with him. 

And to be able to figure out how the both of you were going to be handling these new and bizarre feelings.

You sat against the tree, as Pennywise crawled himself off like some sort of spider, and took a seat beside you. Even here, his jingling bells rang just the same as always. 

“Can we go somewhere new tomorrow?” you asked with a sigh, leaning your head against his shoulder, staring off into a seemingly endless circus field.

He did the same to you, leaning his head over top of yours. You could sense that he was still nervous--still not used to this. But just like you, he’d have a lot of time to figure it out.

“Oh? What’s the matter?” he started, still sounding like that same old circus clown you met that hot summer day. You could tell he was just joking, though. It was all the two of you could really do, stuck in each other’s dreams every night. “Is Pennywise’s circus not good enough for you?”

“It’s fun here, I just want to see where else we can go.”

“Picky, picky, picky…” he grumbled “Nothing’s ever good enough for you!”

“That’s not true. After all, I mean...you are, apparently.” You shrugged, smiling, still trying to process all that led you here.

Pennywise didn’t respond, but you could tell he was embarrassed, in that way that confused, love-sick teenagers are when they fall in love for the first time. 

Love is...so confusing. 

You’re sure one day, the two of you would...somehow come to an understanding, or even just...be able to make sense of it.

But hell, you knew it wouldn’t be someday soon.

So, for now, it was nice to just...sit and process it.

Together, and confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnd that's all folks!
> 
> For now, at least :)
> 
> I wanted to make the ending like this, that way if I want to revisit it in the future, I can! It'll take place in this odd dreamscape until our favorite clown wakes up in a few decades! And even if I don't come back for a while, I still like to think it is a nice rounded-out ending!
> 
> It's very sad that this is the last chapter for now, though! I'm going to miss you all so dearly! :'D Parting is such sweet sorrow...
> 
> I just want to give out one big thank you to you all. I originally started writing this fic because school had just started and I was majorly stressed, but the new movie had just come out around the same time, so I thought writing a fic would be a good way to take my mind off things and offer myself some creative expression! And at first, I wasn't even going to post it anywhere! But I kept reading everyone else's fics on here, and it got me to thinking that maybe someone would like to read mine too! And you guys did--a lot of you did!! And it makes me so happy to know that people enjoyed my work so much! 
> 
> When I say thank you, I mean it. Thank you so much for your comments! Thank you so much for your kudos! Thank you so much for stopping in each week just to read more! It makes me over-the-moon happy to know that others enjoyed the work I put out there into the world. Thank you.
> 
> As for you all...well, I'm not sure when I'll get to talk to you all again! Maybe I'll write a oneshot here if the inspiration strikes, maybe I'll add more to this story if I get an idea, who knows! But since I won't be updating regularly anymore, it's a bit sad knowing I won't get to hear from you guys each week anymore. I'll miss you! I hope that, wherever your life takes you, it's somewhere great, and I'll always be thankful that we got to share this little infinity of Ao3 together! And who knows? Maybe when I come back to post something new, you'll be there to see it, too! 
> 
> I'm not really sure what else to say other than, well, thank you for sticking around these past 20 weeks or so! They sure were a ride, but I'm glad I got to spend it with you all. Take it easy. And don't forget! We all float down here, you and me too. :o)


End file.
